Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. - Plato
My personal mantra for 2012 is: “do everything in love.” One of the practices that goes along with that statement, for me, is compassion. The root of the word compassion means to suffer together with. How this virtue plays out in my daily life now is that whenever I feel myself getting annoyed or angry or judgmental, I do my best to ground myself in empathy for the other person. In this way, I am able to bypass a lot of negative, unloving feelings. It’s been a long time, actually, since I was really and truly angry at someone.
These are some of the reminders I use for myself to be more compassionate in my daily life. Perhaps they will prove useful to you as well.
- Remember that everyone you encounter today has been through or is going through something. Treat them accordingly.
- We all have feelings and needs. We all have trouble communicating them clearly. That’s just how it is. Listen to people and try to hear what’s not being said.
- Forgiveness is the ultimate form of love. Let disagreements and grudges go as soon as possible. The longer you let them fester, the longer it takes to get back to love.
- Always smile at the cashier in a long line. Assume that she’s doing her best under the circumstances. Give her a break. Same goes for restaurant workers and all other service professionals.
- Everyone wants to love and be loved. Let people love you without questioning their motives.
- Stop making people “earn” your kindness. Be kind because you want to, not as a reward for the other person being kind to you first.
- Don’t let one negative experience (or five) with a stranger, friend or lover keep you from being the loving person you really want to be.
- Begin to see every human encounter you have as an opportunity to learn how to become a more loving person.
- Instead of asking what you can get from others, ask yourself: What is the best part of myself I can give in this moment? How can I offer to help another person today?
- Say “thank you.” Say “I love you.” Say “I’m sorry.” Repeat often.
How are you practicing compassion in your own life?
happyblackwoman
happyblackwoman
happyblackwoman
happyblackwoman
Wonderful post on compassion, and I like your 10 tips, although I work hard not to put myself into the position of having to say “I’m sorry” all that often.
I have to admit that, being a guy and a little older, I measure being compassionate with being dispassionate enough to not get too absorbed so that if I offer assistance it’s not based on emotions but on as much logic as can be given at the time. Kind of like one would hope a physician or nurse would treat us.
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Napoleon Hill describes a healthy balance of the emotional and the logic. No one wins when decisions are weighed too heavily on the rational side or too heavily on the emotional side. We all make decisions emotionally and we justify them logically as I would hope a physician or a nurse would treat us. No one likes a cold, left brain doctor or nurse. We want to know s/he also FEELS us and our pain as well.
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I was having a really bad day the other day; got stuck in traffic and had a phone call I didn’t enjoy before I even got out of the car. But I decided to make sure that everyone I encountered felt good in the few moments I interacted with them. That turned into one of the best days I’ve had in a long time
I’ve also just been loving and happy with everyone. We tend to be guarded and not our natural loving selves out of fear of how others will view us and being taken advantage of… well we’re all smart enough to avoid the latter and the former is out of our control anyway. What’s interesting is the amount of compliments and love I receive in return, just for being myself.
It’s important to remember that we’re all connected, all a reflection of each other – so having compassion and love for others is really having compassion and love for ourselves.
# 4 and #7 resonate with me today after hearing Rachel’s Challenge at work today – wrote about the experience on my blog today.
Basically, it was about spreading a chain reaction of kindness throughout the world. Be kind to people even if they are not in good moods because you never know the impact you can have on people. Give people at least three chances when you meet them since they may be going through a really horrible day or be going through some tough things in their lives.
I don’t like to let other people bring me down. I just keep striving to be better than I was yesterday and hope that people see my kindness and pass it on.
I love the idea of giving people three chances. Really makes you think about how other people experience you as well. No one can be at their best all the time.
Numbers 6 and 7 are big ones for me. I’m also learning that there are interactions I belong in and ones I don’t- For instance, if someone is spewing negativity at me with their eyes or harsh words, I don’t feel the need to talk or make nice- I need to keep it movin’ and look toward those who are offering something better.
In the past, I’ve confused compassion with letting others drain me- the result is kind of like being in a room with angry people and eventually getting into a bad mood yourself, or starting a day happy and suddenly becoming annoyed after one a long conversation with a ticked off friend you were trying to help- emotions rub off on you. Now, compassion is a lack of negative judgment for those who send out the bad vibes my way without the need to attend to them and make it better.
I need some distance from them simply to retain the best of who I am (even family). Imo, it’s good balance to strike a balance where you are giving good interaction with those who are willing yet politely side stepping those who intentionally or unconsciously drain your energy. For the first group, I can share their stories and eventually their energy which will become mine, but for the second I need to keep it short and sweet- whatever their excuse is…(because we all can have excuses to stay down if want to).
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Love this! Haven’t seen the movie but I loved the previews. I try to practice compassion by truly seeing the Creator in everyone and taking the time to be kind to everyone that I interact with.
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