This post is Day 11 of the 2012 edition of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up here.
It’s now been almost two weeks since you started the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. You probably started off with a bang, excited and ready to go. But like many participants often say at this point, life got “in the way” and you may have fallen off after just a few days. Don’t beat yourself up about being “behind.” It’s normal at this point to have missed a few of the assignments.
You may be in the process of catching up with us from the last ten days. That’s fine. You may even be one of our “silent participants.” That’s all good, too. Either way, I’m glad you’re here. Another possibility, however, is that you may actually struggling right now to push through the assignments and commit fully to the challenge.
If so, what you’re experiencing is called resistance. Also known as the lizard brain.
What is the lizard brain?
Leadership and marketing guru Seth Godin describes the lizard brain this way:
We say we want one thing, then we do another. We say we want to be successful but we sabotage the job interview. We say we want a product to come to market, but we sandbag the shipping schedule. We say we want to be thin but we eat too much. We say we want to be smart but we skip class or don’t read that book the boss lent us.
The contradictions never end. When someone shows up and acts without contradiction, we’re amazed. When an athlete just does the sport, or when a writer just writes the words, we can’t help but watch, astonished at the purity of their actions. Why is it so difficult to do what we say we’re going to do?
The lizard brain.
Or as Steven Pressfield describes it, the resistance. The resistance is the voice in the back of our head telling us to back off, be careful, go slow, compromise. The resistance is writer’s block and putting jitters and every project that ever shipped late because people couldn’t stay on the same page long enough to get something out the door.
The resistance grows in strength as we get closer to shipping, as we get closer to an insight, as we get closer to the truth of what we really want. That’s because the lizard hates change and achievement and risk.
The lizard is a physical part of your brain, the pre-historic lump near the brain stem that is responsible for fear and rage and reproductive drive. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because her lizard brain told her to.
The lizard brain is the epicenter of fear. Because when we listen to the lizard brain, we make the kind of choices that lead us on a path away from our big dreams. When you’re in the clutches of the lizard brain, you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to resent the process. You feel yourself wanting to give up and throw in the towel.
In a nutshell, the lizard brain is what stops you in your tracks and keeps you from moving forward.
But in reality, when the lizard brain shows up, it’s simply a sign that you’re going somewhere. You’re in motion and moving toward higher ground. So the best thing for you to do at this point is to assume the good and operate accordingly.
You may be feeling some resistance in completing the exercises we’ve done so far, and that’s OK. Your lizard brain may be telling you that you don’t have the time to get through them. That’s because your lizard brain is scared. It’s overwhelmed by all the new revelations that are coming into your consciousness. It’s afraid that your “aha” moments are going to cause you to actually make some changes in your life.
What I want you to do though, is to keep going anyway. Because anyone who’s ever accomplished anything in life has had to push through the fear and the resistance to get to the good stuff on the other side.
And I want to see you there. So here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna write a letter to your lizard brain and tackle that sucker once and for all.
Estimated Time to Complete: 30-45 minutes
Write a letter to your lizard brain to acknowledge its presence and declare your freedom from allowing it to rule your life from this point forward. Your letter should reflect your new awareness and be stern, but loving. You may use the format below or freestyle your own.
Dear Lizard Brain,
I’ve been noticing you popping up at certain points in this challenge and in my life. It seems like every time I want to do something for my own happiness and growth, you show up to tear me down.
For instance, when I tried to __________________________, you showed up in the form of procrastination. I wantedto see it through, but instead I sabotoged my success by ____________________________________.
Another example was when I tried to change my life by _____________________________ and you came along in the form of self-doubt. I knew I wanted to shift gears, but instead, you told me that __________________________________.
So I see what you’re doing and I don’t like it. Yes, I know that you’re afraid of change. You’re afraid of what will happen if I succeed. But what you have to understand is that whatever happens in my life will work out for my good. I was put here on earth for a purpose and you are keeping me from fulfilling that potential.
Well, until now, you have.
I will no longer allow you to stop my progress in living my ideal life. So the next time I see you, I will simply give you a nod and go on about my business.
It’s been nice knowing you, but now it’s time that we part ways.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
Take Action and Reflect: Please share your letter to your lizard brain with us in the comments. How are you experiencing resistance right now in the challenge or in any other area of your life? How will you make sure you keep moving forward? If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
Want All the 31 Day Reset Exercises in One Place?
The Reset Workbook contains all 31 daily assignments in one place as well as 28 printable worksheets to supplement the material and help you complete the daily exercises. The workbook is 60 pages long and comes in an electronic, ebook format.
For those who may wish to go at their own pace, this workbook allows you to have all the assignments at your fingertips in addition to the opportunity to connect with others who are doing the 31 Day Reset program here on the blog. There are also a few bonuses, like the full version of the Life Mapping Workbook with a video training!
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This excerise was fun. It was totally out of my comfort zone to have a couragous conversation with someone (even if that someone is me).
Dear Lizard Brain,
I am serving you notice that your strong hold in my life is no longer needed. I need to get out of my own way in order to live the life that I want and that starts by telling you that you no longer have a hold on me.
There have been times recently where I needed to confront or have courageous conversation and you stopped me from writing that email or making that phone call by telling me I couldn’t do or that the conversation would be negative or I would be rejected. So instead of having that conversation I back down and allowed things that bothered me to fester until they reached the point of no return.
I have had so many ideas on how I wanted to take control of my life and my career. But you stepped in with fear and timidness by telling me that I needed to be more financially secure or distracted me with fatigue or told me that I needed more people to support me or allowed loneliness to be at the forefront, or other things to derail me from what I wanted to do.
So today I am here to tell you that I am going to live life boldy and without fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells me that God did not give me the spirit of fear but rather love and self-disciple. So I am going to make plans to live the life I want surrounded by the people I want. If you try to creep in I will kindly remind you that you don’t have a place in my plan. You’ve been my Pity Party Planner and this is a party that I will no longer RSVP for.
It’s been real but from here on out your presence in my life is no longer needed.
Angel
I must say that after writing this letter to lizard brain I feel pretty darn good. To be able to identify these issues with the clarity that I have is definitely no one other than the Holy Spirit working within me. I’m grateful for this exercise and being able to call the devil out. What must I do now? I must focus on working hard on the days when my mind are truly at peace and take breaks when feel like the devil is trying to put thoughts of doubt and fear in my mind. Realizing this is profound. Here is my letter…
Dear Lizard Brain,
I was asked to write a letter to you but first I must get this out of the way. I recognize you for what you are. Lizard Brain, to me it is just a pretty way to avoid calling you what you really are, Satan.
You are the devil, plain and simple. You come to me out of no where causing me to fear doing the things I really want to do. You question God’s authority over my life which in turn makes me question Him as well. When I actually allow you do do what you set out to do I defy the will of God and I don’t like that one bit.
Last year I started a business and I wholeheartedly went into it with thoughts of taking care of my family and helping others to live a healthier and greener lifestyle. When an obstacle came my way you planted doubt into my mind about my ability to actually succeed. I questioned my God about whether or not I was doing what I was called to do.
I literally gave up but praise God my business is a type of business that I can pick back up where I left off. I’ve prayed and meditated whether blogging and Shaklee were what I am supposed to be doing. I prayed asking God was I supposed to quit and after waking up from a peaceful slumber I knew God was telling me “Not Yet!”
I’ve been instructed to slow down and keep pressing on and I choose to listen to this rather than listening to you serpent. So the next time you appear in the form of resistance, doubt, and fear I will stop myself and pray before my God and allow him to order my steps. You Mr. Lizard Brain (devil) (lucifer) has to go because there is no room for you and God in my life.
Deuces,
Latoya
Read my latest blog post…3 Years
I posted a poem last week about my conversation with universe. I realized that it didn’t exactly fulfill the exercise. So, I thought I would really write a letter to my resistant lizard brain. Thanks ladies for sharing the journey with me.
Hey Lady,
How you doing today? We got to talk. I’ve been noticing you popping up in my life every time I want to do something for my own happiness and growth. You show up to tear me down. I don’t feel you do it to harm me but it doesn’t help. I know it is your job to protect me from the unknown because it could be harmful. But most of the time I not running from a lion or bear so you can calm down. I thank you for the times you protected me from harm but now you are keeping me from living fully in my light.
For instance when I know I need to get up at 5:30am to do yoga, write or make fresh juice you show up to tell what I really need is more sleep. But this sabotages my success and make me doubt if I can really be the me I envision.
You are constantly around with self doubt and negative talk. You always manage to get me to spend more energy and time on why I won’t finish it than how to move forward.
So I see what you’re doing and I don’t like it. Yes, I know that you’re afraid of change. You’re afraid of what will happen if I succeed. But what you have to understand is that whatever happens in my life will work out for my good. I was put here on earth for a purpose and you are keeping me from fulfilling that potential.
I will no longer allow you to stop my progress in living my ideal life. So the next time I see you, I will simply give you a nod and go on about my business.
I promise you I will let you know if I’m running from a lion but otherwise DEUCES.
Hugs and Kisses
Vickie
I found this exercise interesting and timely. I completed yoga teacher training about 3 weeks ago. This poem came up during that process. I have been blessed with a lot of success but often feels I haven’t worked for it or sabotaged when I could have taken it to the next level. So, enjoy.
She Called
I got a call last night
It was the Universe
She said she wanted her talents back
“I gave you talents to change the world
And you hid them in shame.
You achieved fortune and wealth
without doing a damn thing.
That was all me shining your light.
And you took it without doing your part.
Don’t you understand your power,
Your strength.
I’m tired of trying to show your clueless
Black Ass your greatness.
Step up your game
Play your hand
I got your back. I always have.
Now you need to pay with discipline and dreams
Or give me my shit back.
Hey everyone…
I just realized that I didn’t post here with my Day 10 reflection, so here is the link to that: http://hittheresetbutton2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/10/accountability-partner/
And here is Day 11. I got mad at my Lizard Brain, but I learned that “righteous anger” is more productive than stoic silence.
http://hittheresetbutton2012.wordpress.com/2012/04/11/day-11-reset/
In the meantime, everyone, have a wonderful day. Talk soon.
Dear Lizard Brain,
I’ve been noticing you popping up at certain points in this challenge and in my life. It seems like every time I want to do something for my own happiness and growth, you show up to tear me down.
For instance, when I tried to go to film school, you showed up in the form of procrastination. I wanted to see it through, but instead I sabotaged my success by never even filling out the application.
Another example was when I tried to change my life by losing weight and you came along in the form of laziness. I knew I wanted to shift gears, but instead, you told me that weight loss is too hard and food tastes so good.
Another example was when I tried to change my life by getting a better job and you came along in the form of self-doubt. I knew I wanted to shift gears, but instead, you told me that I’m not qualified for anything different.
Another example was when I tried to change my life by completing the Happy Black Woman 31 day life reset and you came along in the form of laziness. I knew I wanted to shift gears, but instead, you told me that it’s okay to come home, rest and not think.
So I see what you’re doing and I don’t like it. Yes, I know that you’re afraid of change. You’re afraid of what will happen if I succeed. But what you have to understand is that whatever happens in my life will work out for my good. I was put here on earth for a purpose and you are keeping me from fulfilling that potential.
Well, until now, you have.
I will no longer allow you to stop my progress in living my ideal life. So the next time I see you, I will simply give you a nod and go on about my business.
It’s been nice knowing you, but now it’s time that we part ways.
Sincerely,
Cherice
I love this challenge, and seeing other people’s letters, I don’t feel alone, I realize we all have that lizard brain, and my wish for everyone is to stamp her.
Dear Lizard Brain,
Hey hey hey, first of all I want to thank you and tell you I love you for being there, I understand your intentions are always to protect me from what you think will harm me, but it does the opposite, you are enabling me and crippling me. You’ve got to let me fall, I have to it’s the only way I will learn, failures will not define me, it’s how I handle them so let me do that.
For months now I’ve been trying to consistently exercise, meditate, pray, eat health nutritious foods, following my values, discovering my passion, etc, and I notice everytime I get to where I see a lil bit of change, you get jealous, you come in and sabotage my plans. When I sit down to meditate you find every way to distract me, when I’m ready to exercise all of a sudden you have something else important, when I prepare a healthy nutritous meal, then next day you crave junk, when I want to talk to God your interrupt me by saying snide comments, making fun of me, telling me he’s not even listening and making me doubt my relationship with God, I find it very rude and very disrespecting and I will not torelate you and your behavior anymore. I want you out of my life for good, lizard lizard.
You and I both know that I’m here for greatness and it is my job to make sure I fulfill my dreams and I will be damned if you or anyone else stands in my way. Make this the last conversation we have, I appreciate all you have done for me sincerely, but from now on I’m the bitch in charge, I know what I want, thank you Lizard Brain.
Sincerely
Your former friend, Eliza.
Pingback: The Choice is Yours: The Self Sabotaging Spirit | The Phoenix Unleashed
My biggest struggle with this challenge was not only taking responsibility as the person holding me back but isolating and speaking to that part of myself. I was uncomfortable with acknowledging and criticizing that part. On the other hand it was no different that what I tell my whole self. I do greatly appreciate this particular challenge because it has allowed me to focus on something crucial to my personal development and that is my response to self-doubt.
Loved this assignment! Really helped to remind me to put faith over fear and not stand in my own way.
http://kiwisjoy.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/faith-over-fear/
Read my latest blog post…Faith over Fear
This assignment goes perfectly with what I posted on my blog two days ago: 1219sibmtt.blogspot.com/2012/02/not-absence-of-fear.html
I know that I am sabotaging myself in many ways.
This gives me a name to address and to talk to internally when the Lizard Brain creeps up on me and keeps me from fulfilling my mission.
Read my latest blog post…I finally got caught and ticketed
Pingback: #31DayReset Day 12: Craft Your Ideal Life Narrative | Happy Black Woman | Helping Women Design Their Ideal Lives
Wow I learned some things while composing my letter to the Lizard Brain. You can read my letter at http://soulxposed2u.com/2012/01/11/day-11-challenge-2/.
Read my latest blog post…MLK Promotion Gone Wrong
Dear Lizard Brain,
I’ve been noticing you popping up at certain points in this challenge and in my life. It seems like every time I want to do something for my own happiness and growth, you show up to tear me down.
For instance, when I tried to lose weight, start my blog, go consistently to church, you showed up in the form of procrastination. I wanted to see it through, but instead I sabotaged my success by not exercising, putting my blog on the back burner and not making immediate decisions, not asking for help, and just being super lazy.
Another example was when I tried to change my life by starting my coworking business plan and you came along in the form of self-doubt. I knew I wanted to shift gears, but instead, you told me that my situation wouldn’t change, that I’d still be in the same place I’m in.
So I see what you’re doing and I don’t like it. Yes, I know that you’re afraid of change. You’re afraid of what will happen if I succeed. But what you have to understand is that whatever happens in my life will work out for my good. I was put here on earth for a purpose and you are keeping me from fulfilling that potential.
Well, until now, you have.
I will no longer allow you to stop my progress in living my ideal life. So the next time I see you, I will simply give you a nod and go on about my business.
It’s been nice knowing you, but now it’s time that we part ways.
Sincerely,
Jessica
This exercise was FUN! having a name to call Lizard Brain makes it really concrete that no one is accountable for me, except me. No amount of interruptions, life changes, experiences, or issues is acceptable. http://superwomaninthemaking.blogspot.com/2012/01/day-11.html
Read my latest blog post…Day 11
Pingback: Day 11 Challenge « soulexposed2u
Dear Lizard Brain (LB),
I’ve been noticing you popping up at certain points in my life. It seems like every time I want to do something for my own happiness and growth, you show up to tear me down.
For instance, when I tried to lose weight, focus on a story to write, study the Bible, read to enhance my knowledge, write my blog, exercise, develop myself and other leaders, raise my kids to be leaders, start my business, and/or manage my money you showed up in the form of procrastination, doubt, self-pity, tantrums and plain old, “I just don’t want to do it”.
I wanted to see it through, but instead I sabotaged my success by not going to the gym/not exercising at home, watching stupid stuff on TV or reading fluff novels, not developing a plan to grow the leaders or the kids small group, not fleshing out ideas for the business, not focusing enough to write consistently on the blog or just for my own stories, not reading about or planning for my money, not taking the time to pray and study Scripture or reading books to grow me and others spiritually. I reached for the low-hanging fruit; the easy stuff. I did just enough to get by and then rested on my laurels.
Another example was when I tried to change my life by accepting my leadership position in ministry; there you came along in the form of self-doubt. I knew I wanted to shift gears, but instead, you told me that, “sure, you know the Word, you went to ministry school, but what do you REALLY know about helping others when you are still a mess. You’ve got secrets, girl.” You also make me hang on to my old mindset that I’m not qualified for success or that because I grew up poor, I can’t handle a better life. What would your family think, Yolanda…you’re being too bougie.
LB, you make me think that I only know how to operate when I have just enough or not enough. Well, honey, screw that! THIS MINDSET IS NO LONGER MY REALITY! And, as such, I want more for myself. It’s ok to want better. I deserve better for me and for my sons.
So I see what you’re doing and I don’t like it. Yes, I know that you’re afraid of change, LB. You’re afraid of what will happen if I succeed. But what you have to understand is that whatever happens in my life will work out for my good. I was put here on earth for a purpose and you are keeping me from fulfilling that potential.
Well, until now, you have.
I will no longer allow you to stop my progress in living my ideal life. So the next time I see you, I will simply give you a nod and go on about my business.
It’s been real; but now it’s time that we part ways.
Sincerely,
Yolanda
Read my latest blog post…Getting All Flexible
This assignment was eye-opening. I never realized how much I self-sabotaged. It was always the world, the people, life, but never me
Dear Lizard Brain,
Some how, some way, you always find a way to creep into my mind! How?!?! Why must you constantly pop up at the most inconvenient time.
Remember that time that I was supposed to stick to the schedule of going to the library after work to look for other jobs and what popped up? You!
Or how about that time that I was dedicated to working out and you persuaded me to go out to eat with friends.
All of these times you have stopped me from doing something that would or could change my life.
There have been so many times that procrastination has stopped me from doing several things that I wanted to do. Opening my mouth and my mind to new things. Pursuing things that I believed would make me happy.
The fear that I experienced in moving to a new city, trying to doing something completely out of my element has held me back long enough!
You have festered in parts of my mind long enough! Good Bye!
Sincerely,
Me
This was a really POWERFUL assignment. I needed to confront my fears in a very real way not just intellectually. I needed to speak to my fears through this letter and let my fears know that I can’t entertain them anymore. I must live my best life now. It is beyond crucial at this point. The resistance/fear realized that it could not physically stop me from doing my reset assignments & completing my goals, so it upped the ante by coming in the form of emotional distractions and self-doubt. It wasn’t until I wrote this letter did I see the connection. I am in a place where I can’t go back to the “old ways” of doing things therefore the old scare tactics can’t work. Now that I know that the more I press forward the more my fear will try to disguise itself, I will stay vigilant. I will birth all of my dreams and fear will no longer delay me from living the life that I truly desire.
I like your statement, “the more that I press forward the more my fear will try to disguise itself.” This is so true. Like you, I will have to stay aware.
Read my latest blog post…Getting All Flexible
Love the analogy & simplicity.
I read “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield, and he defined this resistance so vividly, I could see myself on the pages. From that point on, I vowed to overcome my resistance, no matter how tough or challenging. That is the only way, I believe, that we will experience true victory.
I have been resistant in this challenge by saying, “I will do it later,” or “I don’t have time to do it tonight,” but in all actually I just have to make time! This part of the challenge came right on time.
Also, I’ve been resistant in my education. School started on Monday, today is Wednesday and I’m still not in the mood. I’ve been slackin on my assignments and my attendance already! But I told my lizard brain, “it was nice knowing you but you have to go!”
In other areas I have been resistant as well but this area is the most severe.
I am thankful for today’s challenge.
-Breanna
thinkroyalty.wordpress.com