7 Steps to Release Negativity, Set Big Goals and Start Living the Life of Your Dreams

There can be a lot of mental roadblocks that get in the way when it comes to pursuing your goals, but you have the power to overcome them. Here are 7 powerful steps to help you make progress!

1. Remove negative energy from your life.

“One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.” – Michelle Obama

Sometimes the environment you live and socialize in can create a rut for you over time. Pay attention to the people you surround yourself with. Others can project their own fears and negative attitudes onto you if you hang around them too long. This is when it might be time for you to make new friends. You also want to be mindful of the negative energy you create through your own behavior – such as gossip, being snarky and judging others. Strive to put positive vibes out into the universe and it’s likely that you will get that same energy reflected back to you!

2. Make your goal specific and actionable.

“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.” ― Paulo Coelho

Ask yourself this question when it comes to your goals: What do you want to do, have or become? Be as specific as possible, not vague. For example, “I want to be wealthy” is a vague goal. “I want to be earning $50,000 per year by December 31, 2015” is more specific and inspiring!

3. Set a firm deadline for your goal.

“People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.” – Brian Tracy

Give yourself a deadline for when you want to complete your goal by. And no, “someday” is not a deadline! Write it down. Put it on your calendar. Set reminders on your iPhone. Then schedule all your free time around your dream. Block out your early mornings, evenings and weekends for the next six months. If you’re serious, this is how it gets done. It’s the only way that “someday” will ever be more than a fairy tale. For example, “I want to quit my job by January 1, 2016.”

4. Find a community to support your goal.

“No person, trying to take responsibility for her or his identity, should have to be so alone. There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.” ― Adrienne Rich

It can feel incredibly lonely as you go through the process of pursing your dreams. Especially if your friends and family don’t understand or support what you’re trying to do. Fortunately, you can find like-minded people who are on the same path to success. Look for groups on Meetup.com, LinkedIn, Craigslist, your place of worship, women’s associations, book clubs, etc. Do some looking around and you will eventually find your tribe!

5. Create external pressure.

“It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard, she said, is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.” ― Shauna Niequist

Tell everyone you’re going to do whatever it is you want to do. And tell them by when. (See #3.) Announce it on your blog. Tell all your friends. Talk to your family about it. That way, every time you run into someone, they’ll ask you “how’s that goal coming?” You’ll be embarrassed if you haven’t made any progress, yet blabbed your mouth off about it to everyone around you. Yes, it’s pressure, but it’s good pressure to help you stay accountable to the life you really want.

6. Make one big move.

“You must take action now that will move you towards your goals. Develop a sense of urgency in your life.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Instead of taking baby steps for nine years, you might get further faster by going ALL IN right now. Your One Big Move is the decision that, once you make it, there’s no turning back. Taking this leap will throw you into the deep end of the pool with the sharks. On a recent trip to Hawaii, I met a guy who made his One Big Move by literally moving. He quit his job, sold all his stuff and moved to where he wanted to live with just an idea and a loose plan. Your One Big Move might be ditching your 9 to 5, leaving your partner, selling your house, entering into a formal business partnership with someone or any other decisions that force you to abandon the old life you keep saying you want to change.

7. Press reset.

“You must accept that you might fail; then, if you do your best and still don’t win, at least you can be satisfied that you’ve tried. If you don’t accept failure as a possibility, you don’t set high goals, you don’t branch out, you don’t try – you don’t take the risk.” – Rosalynn Carter

No matter how great you are at goal-setting, at some point there will be some part of your vision that doesn’t go according to plan. It’s important to remember that you can get up and dust yourself off, then press the “reset” button on your life. No mistake is final. As long as you’re alive, you can always start over and try again.

If you’re not making any progress on your goals right now (or not making as much headway as you want to), try following some of these steps to turn it around. I’d love to hear about your big goals! Please leave a comment below and join the conversation – our HBW Community is becoming a great place to connect with like-minded women, ask questions and get support :)


Rosetta Thurman is the Founder of Happy Black Woman, a supportive community that helps women create their ideal lives through personal development and entrepreneurship. Follow Rosetta on Twitter.

Join thousands of women who have completed the only online course that gives you all the tools you need to get unstuck, set clear goals and rediscover who you truly are. Learn more about my 31 Days to Reset Your Life program here.



Comments & Feedback:

  1. @Jaisez

    Makes perfect sense, makes what seems like an elephant of goal much more digestible. I’m going to implement this plan this week by Sunday 9/14/2014.

  2. Tanya

    I love Yiur articles especially the one this week on setting
    Your intentions for the week. That idea is awesome!!!! Thank you for your wisdom

  3. Dan

    If you’d like a tool for setting your goals, you can use this web application:


    You can use it to manage your goals, projects and tasks, set next actions and contexts, use checklists, and a calendar.
    A Vision Wall (inspiring images attached to yor goals) is available too.