Corinne Bailey Rae Makes Me Want to Fall in Love All Over Again

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” – Erica Jong

I’m a sucker for a woman with a guitar. Which is why I was so mesmerized when I first saw India.Arie sing like an angel and play the guitar at the same time. I felt the same way when I first saw Corinne Bailey Rae perform. I had no idea who she was, so I figured she must be from the UK. Turned out I was right. I bought her first album after seeing the video for the upbeat tune, Put Your Records On. It was my morning mantra for a good minute. I also had “Like a Star” and “‘Til it Happens to You” rotating through my playlist for months. Those songs in particular held special meaning for me because I was going through a breakup at the time. A bad one.

I bought Corinne’s album after I broke up with my fiance K in 2006 and moved out of the condo that we shared in Maryland. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I was about to graduate with a Master’s degree and finally begin to forge my dream career path, yet I was about to marry a “good” man who had suddenly informed me that he wanted his wife to stay home and not go to work at all. I felt like our entire relationship had been shattered…when “it used to feel like heaven, it used to feel like May.” I can’t even listen to the song now without tearing up, I played it so much during that time in my life. I decided I couldn’t be with someone who was so threatened by my success that he couldn’t support my goals. So I packed up all my stuff in my beat up little 1993 Saturn and left our nice condo in the suburbs to rent someone’s basement apartment in the boondocks. I was so disillusioned with love at that time that I vowed not to get into a committed relationship again for at least a year. And I didn’t.

It used to feel like heaven
Used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony
Now they’ve gone away
Nobody wants to face the truth
But you won’t believe what love can do
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you

Given all the tragic memories Corinne’s beautiful music dredged up for me, I was beyond excited when someone on my Twitter feed alerted me that she had a new album coming out. One that wouldn’t reduce me to tears during the opening bars. Ironically, this latest body of music is tinged with a very real tragedy as Corinne penned the new songs after her husband Jason Rae died in 2008.

For me, though, the album is all about hope.

Every single track is a winner, with no need to skip through to the next one. In fact, you find yourself enjoying each song so much that you protest its inevitable end, stubbornly holding on to the last closing notes. The album weaves a trail of hauntingly beautiful lyrics on “Are You Here,” “Love’s On Its Way” and the title track, “The Sea.” But when Corinne turns up the tempo on “Paris Nights/New York Mornings,” “The Blackest Lily” and “Paper Dolls,” you get nervous for a moment. In the very next moment, though, a wave of gratitude washes over those of us who wondered if she would keep the familiar sound we fell in love with on her first album. Although each song is a gift, two tracks in particular stand out for me, ones where I can’t stop pressing play again and again, like an overzealous child pushing buttons in the elevator.

Closer (audio + video)

This is Corinne’s voice at its best, full of longing and tinged with a subtle sexuality that hits the heart…and the loins. The opening bars of the song conjure up images of a woman who’s definitely been around the block a few times and is determined to get her man.

I don’t want to give you up
I don’t want to hold you up
I don’t want ambiguous
I just know that I’ve had enough
I want you to travel with me
Let loose and let your mind go free
Show you things that you never seen
But you just got to go with me

Oh, your love is so good that I wanna show you
Don’t make me responsible for something that you can’t find

Ooh your lovin’ is so good, so good that
Closer
I wanna I wanna
Intimate
I wanna I wanna

I wanna get close to you baby

I’d Do it All Again (audio + video + more video)

This song reminds people who’ve “given up” on romance at some point in their lives that love is still our most important pursuit, even though it may go sour at some point. It reminds us that we can’t keep pretending as if we somehow don’t need each other. As if we don’t get disappointed when we reach over to the other side of the bed only to grab a handful of empty sheets.

Oh, you’re searching for something I know
won’t make you happy

Oh, you did it all again
You’ve broken under skin
It’s hard to believe this time
Hard to believe that my heart
My heart’s an open door
You got all you came for, baby

So be real
Someone to love is bigger than your pride’s worth
It’s bigger than the pain you got for all it hurt
It outruns all of the sadness
It’s terrifying light through the darkness

And I’d do it all again
I’d do it all again
I’d do it all again
I’d do it all again

I’ve spent years replaying my relationship with K over and over in my head, not wanting to end up in another situation where I have to choose between my independence and the altar. I used to wish to God that I had never ever met him in life. But Corinne tells us, in her amazing voice, that there’s always value in learning the lesson. There’s value in figuring out all the bullshit that keeps people from loving each other and fighting tooth and nail to keep their hearts from getting broken. And then pushing forward anyway. Because when you win? When you win, you realize that it was totally worth the risk.

So you know what? Yeah, I’d do it all over again. I would. Even though me and K didn’t work out as husband and wife, I had the opportunity to love and be loved. To know what it was like to be held and protected and taken care of. And because I’ve experienced that once, I know that I can experience it again.

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You can listen to Corinne Bailey Rae’s new album, The Sea in its entirety on NPR’s First Listen until January 26. After that, you know damn well you need to go on ahead and get you a copy on Amazon or iTunes.

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