#31DayReset Day 5: Envision Your Values in Action

This post is Day 5 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.

Yesterday, you identified your values and narrowed them down to a list of 10 of the most important ones. Today, we’re going to take that exercise a step further by completing the second task in developing a personal mission statement over the next few days: envisioning your values in action.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. It’s one thing to say what you care about, but much harder to walk your talk. Today’s exercise involves two parts to help you dig deeper in thinking about how you can incorporate your values into your daily life.

Estimated Time to Complete: 60-90 minutes

Part 1: Am I Currently Living Out My Values?

Now that you’re clear on what you really care about, you want to compare your values to how you’re currently living your life. For each value that you identified in your “Reset 10″, rate yourself from 1-10 on how you feel you’re acting out that particular value in your life. Be honest with yourself – it’s the only way to be able to improve upon the life you’re living now to the life you want to be living in the future!

Part 2: What Do My Values Look Like in Action?

For each value that you identified in your “Reset 10″, list out at least three actions that you currently take or that you should be taking in order to honor and fulfill that value in your life. What kinds of things would you be doing if you were living in full accordance with your values? What would it really look like for you to be able to rate yourself as a “10″ on how you live out all your values?

Take Action and Reflect: When you’re done, please share your “values in action″ with us in the comments! Feel free to share Part 1 or 2 or both. Were there any “aha” moments you experienced as you completed this exercise? If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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60 comments

  1. Pingback: Preview 2012: What Do You Want to Bring into Your Life Next Year? | Happy Black Woman | Helping Women Design Their Ideal Lives

  3. I think my “aha” moment came from realizing that what’s holding me back from ranking myself higher on my values is the way I treat myself. For example, I’d put myself relatively low (but not where once would have) for Honesty/Truth because I still have trouble speaking up when people hurt me. Like Danielle (Sept 8) I’m quick to jump in someone else’s corner to defend them, but not so much for myself. :(

    Anyway, these aren’t all the details, but the big points I got from this exercise:

    Honesty/Truth: 6. There are painful truths I need to release and people who have hurt me with whom I must clear the air if I want to claim the life that’s mine. time to stop avoiding what my old boss called Difficult Conversations. lol

    Creativity: 8.5. I don’t write anywhere NEAR as much as I need to. It’s funny how writing is my first and strongest passion, but I’ve been dancing, drawing and creating art in other ways more these days. I have to get back to it.

    High Energy/Physical Health: 7. I love that I exercise just about every day, whether it’s walking, dancing, running, or learning to play tennis. I also like that I’m going almost-all-natural with my haircare products. But I also need to take care of myself by resting more (ie., going to sleep on a DIFFERENT day than the one when I’ll wake up, not the SAME one) and drinking more water.

    Inspiration: 5. To be at a 10, I’d make more time to read, attend more arts events, and network with more artists and writers in my area.

    Compassion/Helping Others: 9.5. I feel like I listen well as a friend, and my whole life is teaching and trying to bring light. I think volunteer work, especially with battered women, is the only action of compassion I haven’t gotten into yet.

    Knowledge/Intellectual Growth: 10. Back in school, learning things I need to know to pursue my Master’s AND some things I’ve just always wanted to study. I’d like to stay more informed about current events, though.

    Freedom: 9. I’m getting more comfortable living the life I want on my own terms. One action I can take is to stop making excuses when I need to turn someone down or don’t want to do something. Just own it!

    Spiritual Health: 7. I’m so glad to have church home again, and that I’m growing stronger in God every day. Actions to take are to keep attending church regularly and get actively involved, love and forgive unconditionally, and let go of all the anger in my life and the people who cause it.

    Love/Connections/Relationships: 6.5. Though painful, pursuing this divorce and absolutely letting go of my soon-to-be-ex are the two best things I can continue to do on this front. The new me has no need to feel bad every day, and has to love herself enough to look out for herself. On the friendship front, I’ll be looking to join new groups and communities, and then make new friends who share my interests and values.

    Economic Security: 4.5. I love the work I do, but I’m a long way from secure. Regular, full-time employment with benefits is at the top of my list for reaching a 10.

    So revealing, isn’t it?

  4. God 10
    Spiritual growth – 10
    Family -10
    True Friends – 5
    Financial stability – 3
    Living Healthier and happier – 5
    Love and Honety -4
    Travel – 1
    Business – 6
    Community – 1

    In action my values look like I am on the right path with my relationsip with God and growing spiritually. I am growing very much closer to my sons and loving every minute of it. I have fewer friends but I value the ones that I do have. I am not financially stable but I have put some things in motion and working toward the overall financial stability. I am more determined to living a more healthy life style and eating better and losing a litle weight. I am more honest and conscious about my feelings and have come to notice that I am not all that happy with my lvoe life right now. I don’t travel around like I would want to travel and like I used to travel but I know that I need to get back to travelling like I used to because I’m not getting my breaks or my time away from my ‘reality’ and just relaxing. I have things in place to get my business up and tunning. I just need to get the money aspect of it all worked out and a few kinks. I am not currently as active in my community as I would like to be but I am taking it one step at a time and getting it together.

  5. Day 5 – Envision Your Values In Action
    Faith 8
    Love 9
    Education 8
    Self-expression 8
    Community 8
    Integrity 8
    Service 10
    Equal rights 7
    Legacy 9
    Travel 10

    The “aha” moments I had came from realizing that I have to be consistent with my actions, set a schedule, be 100% responsible, collaborate with others and share these values with the people around me in order to fulfill on them!

  7. Wow reading the previous posts ( All of them no matter what month or year) are indeed really helpful in this challenge. I understand why Rosetta insist on sharing so much:)
    Read somewhere above that this challenge has been the hardest for someone and I could not agree more. I have been so hard with myself and could not even give a 10 out of 10 of any of my values.
    My values were Spiritual growth – Love – Family – Great and sincere relationships – Respect – Trust – Financial security – Health – Happiness – Personal development and empowerement.
    All in All, after my reality check I decided to improve in ALL of them with no exception, no matter what grades I gave them because they are all part of my journey in my pursuit of HAPPYNESS
    Yasmine

    • Thank you for being here Yasmine! Yes, the power of sharing your story is real for whoever might come to the challenge after you :)

  8. With 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest.

    - Love – 5
    - Having a family – being a mother – 5
    - Health- diet and exercise – 10
    - Security- emotional and financial – 2
    - Quality of personal relationships – 2
    - Knowledge and education – 3.5
    - Quality of life, work/life balance – 9
    - Happiness- 7
    - Living a life fulfilled – 6.5
    - Independent thought and open-mindedness – 10

    I found in part 2 of completing this exercises that the areas where I excelled and the areas where I absolutely sucked it was easy to identify what I was doing well and what I needed to do better. The areas where I was in the middle were harder to identify. It also made me realize that just because my life wasn’t yet exactly where I wanted it to be didn’t mean that I wasn’t trying or that I hadn’t given any effort.

  9. After doing this exercise, I have realized something about the rankings of my values that others would probably find strange. I would have expected it though because I am really learning so much more about myself that it makes perfect sense to me.
    I will list my rankings below first and then explain:
    Freedom 7
    Health 8
    Education 9
    Spiritual Life 8
    Positivity 9
    Sharing knowledge/wisdom 8
    Living in harmony 7
    Personal development 8
    Peace 8
    Respect 10

    I wont share the rest here but I will explain that it appears as if my rankings are near perfect in almost every category. If I did this exercise 3 months ago when I still had my last job, I would have probably ranked very low on these.
    Alot of people may not understand how I can feel better about my life without having a job. To me it is simple. Sometimes a job/career that was not meant for you can totally drain you and make you feel defeated- that’s where I was. The job was consuming my life and I was not living a life that reflected my values. I felt I made a wise choice by leaving that job because although I was getting paid, I was not very happy at all. Feelings like that can poison other areas of your life and I wanted to stop it before it got to be too much. I am now seeking employment that is more in line with my values which is VERY VERY important to me. Without that, I will end up in the same situation I was in before.
    I will not say that my life is perfect now but let’s just say I’m content :)

    • Shonda, what a great observation – thank you so much for sharing it here. It’s important for all of us to see how just one area of our life can negatively affect all the others. I hope you find a new position soon!

    • Shonda,thank you so much for sharing.
      Even though, this post is from last month. It is exactly what I am going through today and It is sure helping me going through the “resetting” of my life.
      Thank you again
      Yasmine

  10. Am I currently living out my values? On a scale from 1-10 (1 being “not even” and 10 being “definitely”):

    1. Family – Rating: 5
    Actions: (1) Tell my husband I love him (2) Call my mother and grandmother regularly (3) Hug my daughter as much as I can

    2. Love – Rating: 3
    Actopms: (1) Tame my tongue (2) Continue showing compassion (3) Improve nurturing

    3. Peace – Rating: 8
    Actions: (1) Reduce conflict in the home (2) Meditate (3) Encourage open communication at home and at work

    4. Financial stability – Rating: 8
    Actions: (1) Stick to the necessities (2) Save more (3) Pay off 1-2 credit cards by the end of 2011 (4) Find no- or low-cost entertainment

    5. Honesty – Rating: 9
    Actions: (1) Continue being as honest with people as I know how to be without being hurtful (2) Work on tact and delivery (3) Don’t do anything that I might have to lie about

    6. Health – Rating: 6
    Actions: (1) Exercise 2-3 times a week (2) Limit refined sugars (3) Eat more whole grains (4) Continue counting calories (5) Read

    7. Happiness – Rating: 2
    Actions: (1) Do more things that make me happy (2) Do not rely on others to make me happy (3) Stop being so controlling (4) Set realistic expectations of others

    8. Wisdom – Rating: 7
    Actions: (1) Continue education – both formal and informal (2) Read more publications about religion, politics, and other social issues

    9. Sense of accomplishment/achievement – Rating: 1
    Actions: (1) Do something – ANYTHING! (2) Be consistent (3) Post blog entries at least once a week (4) Clean out craft room (5) Get my degree

    10. Quiet time – Rating: 4
    Actions: (1) Set aside at least 30 minutes a day for personal reflection (2) Spend more time outside solo, either walking, reading, or picking up around the yard.

    • I’ll share my ratings and a general summary of how I felt about this activity. Overall it was challenging but ultimately it provided space for really deep reflection which felt good… hard but good. I wrote a lot for each of the action pieces. I decided to write one way I was actively trying to manifest each value in my life and two ways I could improve or take action on the value. It was a great exercise:)

      love-5.5
      justice-7
      stability/security-7
      freedom-5
      purposeful work-5
      family-6.5
      good friends-5.5
      health/wellness-6
      spirituality-6
      strength-7

    • Love the details of your Values in Action….they truly made me reflect on my values and some areas I didnt want to identify!! Stay encouraged while on this journey of a better you, which will lead to everyone around you being better as well!!

  12. I wont write what my top 10 things are however I will write what that today was the hardest day of this challenge thus far. Rating myself of how I am currently living my top 10 and realizing the results were more shocking than I expected. I was brutally honest with myself and the results offered an honest awakening. I must say that although I feel this task was challenging it was also very helpful because I was able to be honest with myself about the things that I say are so important in my life. I feel empowered to move forward and do better now. <3

    • Jasmine, I couldn’t agree with you more! This exercise was very enlightening while a bit disappointing as well. But as they say, knowing is half the battle and we are ready to conquer the other half! Good luck to you as you continue the journey.
      Read my latest blog post…Scene: The light IN the tunnel

  14. Service 7
    -I’m a regular women and children’s home in my community
    -I share my time and resource to serve and encrouage other’s to do the same
    -I would give myself a 10 if I could participate in service projects every day and/or make it part of my career

    Integrity 8
    -I do not compromise my moral code to fit into my surroundings
    -I am reliable. People in my life trust that they can count on me
    -I have managed my reputation well in my life and am proud of the person I am becoming

    Respect 7
    -I do not tolerate poor mistreatment from friends or romantic partners
    -I give the respect I want in return.
    -To be a 10 I would have to end relationships with people who have never mistreated me but are disrespecful to themself or others.

    Honesty 6
    -I could improve by being more vocal about what I really feel instead of keeping my thoughts to myself
    -I could refuse to play games in my relationships
    -I’ve learned to to express myself tactfully in uncomfortable situations when sharing my honest opinion

    Fiscal resonsibility 7
    -I do not create new debt
    -A 10 would be debt free and generating income also investing
    -I pay what I owe, and on time

    Creativity 6
    - I need to write more
    - I want to take more writing classes and workshops
    -I expess myself through dance, writing, learning about art

    Nurturing/Caring 7
    - I spend quality time w children
    -I take children on activities that encourage them to try new things
    - I use my time and resources to support the dreams, goals, and interests of children in my life

    Lifelong Learning 8
    -I read often
    -I challenge myself to know what is going on in the world around me
    -Instead of saying I don’t know, I do research

    Healthy living 6
    -I think sugar aggravates my allergies but it still consume it
    -I eat out more than I cook and I want to change that
    -I do not keep junk food in my home

    Teaching 7
    -I share what I know with others. I am resourceful
    -I tutor elementary school children in my family in reading/writing
    -A 10 would be making teaching a part of my career (but not in the traditonal way of a school teacher)

  15. Freedom (6):
    -Exercise my freedom of choice daily.
    -Live the life that makes me happy. Don’t worry about what other people think.
    -Stop judging other people. My opinion matters, but not when it’s unsolicited.
    -Listen to what my inner self is saying and follow it. Stop overanalyzing.

    Peace (7):
    -Study the Bible and read positive affirmations daily. Seek peace.
    -Love what God has allowed; good or bad. There is something to be learned from all situations.
    -Hold anger toward no one or nothing.

    Love (7):
    -Look for the good in people. Show people they matter.
    -Give when the desire comes.
    -Make peace with the past.

    Healthy Living (8):
    -Eat healthy meals and snacks (reduce processed foods)
    -Exercise daily. Drink more water.

    Family (6):
    -Call my family more often.
    -Share my feelings.

    Integrity (6):
    -Stand up for what I believe in.
    -Be honest about who I am.
    -Don’t engage in actions that hurt me spiritually (ie. gossip).

    Service to Humanity (7):
    -Attend one charity event per month.
    -Reduce my vehicle use.
    -Don’t hoard resources, use what I need.

    Adventure (5):
    -Take more roadtrips, once a month.(locally)
    -Try different foods, weekly.
    -Speak to strangers.

    Resourcefulness (7):
    -Wear what’s in my closet.
    -Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
    -Accept help when it is offered.

    Friendship (5):
    -Plan more outings to meet people.
    -Share what I have.
    -Be open-minded.

    • Corretion: Under service, I meant to say I am a regular volunteer at a women and children’s home.

    • The portion under Peace- where you wrote “love wha God has allowed” really resonated with me because of something I am currently dealing with. Well said. Thank you.

  16. The biggest thing i am noticing with the values exercise is that I am a people pleaser. There are so many things that I value and so many things that I enjoy that I never do. With todays exercise I realized how I need to focus on self a lot more. I dont need to be completely selfish but I cant be completely selfless either. I need to focus on me!

    I am a happy black woman.

    Values & Ratings
    love (10) – I actually am proud of myself in this department

    family (6) – I need to develop a positive relationship with my family, there is entirely too much negative energy there

    friendship (4) – I need to figure out who I want and need in my friendship circle… I can’t be the glue holding up dead weight because eventually that weight would just bring me down

    travel (5) – though I am well traveled, I have been stagnate lately. I want to plan one BIG trip every year and some small trips. I feel like I really could travel more than I do now

    beauty (7) – I like looking nice and feeling good about myself so I should actively try to do this more… buy new outfits, buy things that make me feel sexy… if I dont think Im beautiful, who else will?

    weight (-4) – YES, NEGATIVE 4, I feel like Im trying and going no where… I just need to stick to my plans

    wealth (3) – get out of debt and build my own wealth

    pleasure (3) – I need to focus on what makes me happy instead of what makes other people unhappy. I have to realize that my happiness is very important and I need to start acting like it

    adventure (2) – Do something once a month that “I would never do”. Take advantage of my beautiful state and do things like nature walks… go out and see the world

    culture (awareness) (2) – Take a dance class. Try new restaurants. Take a language course. I cant travel to a new country every week, but I can still experience the culture.

  17. I recognize that I have a lot to work on, but the exciting part of this excercise is part two. I realize that I know what I need to do to improve these aspects of my life…I just have to DO it :)

    Part 1: Am I currently Living out My Values?

    Happiness 5
    Family 5
    Healthy living 7
    Financial stability 7
    Love 6
    Adventure 4
    Growth 5
    Friends 5
    Spirituality 5
    A sense of purpose 5

  19. I just began this journey a few days ago. Hopefully, I get some feedback although I’m a month later than everyone on this post ;) lol

    Part 1:
    Spiritual Life-3
    Health-5
    Family-7
    Safety-9
    Positive Relationships w/friends and colleagues-5
    Economic Security- 1 (*tear*)
    Accomplishment-3 (sometimes it seems as though I can’t do enough)
    Taking risks and challenges-1
    Career-1
    Power-3

    Part 2: This part was powerful because I was able to see what actions I needed to take!
    -Spiritual Life- Daily prayer, reading scripture and positive affirmations, going to church
    -Mental and physical health- Work out, eat healthy, let bygones be bygones
    -Family- Visit and call those who I don’t see or talk to often
    -Safety- Stay away from people involved in negative behaviors, check them on their behavior while in my presence and be aware of my surroundings
    -Positive relationships with friends and colleagues- Be honest, reach out, keep a positive attitude
    -Economic Security- Be proactive about finding a job, manage spending habits, save
    -Accomplishment- Use talents, put forth my best effort, think outside the box
    -Taking risks and challenges- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, think positve, go for it
    -Fulfilling Career- Listen to myself and not what others think I should do, build upon my skills
    -Power- Demand respect for those who have issues with giving it, be more aggressive, talk about what I have to offer and say no to things I don’t want to do

    • I feel you on the part about economic security and your career. I feel that my bad choices in careers (based on what others would expect me to do because of my level of education) has gotten me to a place where I could no longer keep up with it all. I have learned the hard way on 2 different occasions that if it isn’t really for me I have no business doing it- and I really shouldn’t try to force it.
      This has in turn left me in a pickle financially. While I may be struggling right now financially, I know that at least now I am wise enough to do the right thing BUT I really can’t depend on a job. That is why I have decided that I will also create a SIDE HUSTLE and possibly find other ways of creating multiple streams of income. Should something happen to your job again in the future, you will be left with something to keep you afloat.
      Hopefully by going through these exercises and much prayer, Bible reading and worship you will get back on track with all of the things you want to improve on.
      Best of luck to you :)
      I also noticed that a lot of the things on your list go hand in hand. You should try and connect all of those and see what they all have in common. It will all make sense to you then: Spiritual life, Taking risks and challenges,Accomplishment, Power
      With economic security- what has always worked for me is keeping in mind that God provides always. In some kind of way He always works it out.

  21. +Learning & exploring-5/10-I read a lot of different material relating to all kinds of subjects but I can always do more. I’d like to start auditing classes and also just ask people who are older than me in the field I’m interested in for advice and guidance.

    +Respect-5/10-I don’t often demand respect when I deserve it. (And yet I have no problem rushing to defend someone else.) So if someone is disrespectful, I need to speak up right away and stand up for myself. I also realize I need to speak up about my expectations.

    +Getting my finances in order-2/10-I want to pay down my credit card debt within a year and start chipping away at my student loans. I also need to cut down on going out to eat and drink, and find other ways to cut costs (ie, finding cheaper utilities). I also need to contribute more to my savings account. I know I’m carrying far too much debt and I don’t want that burden anymore.

    +Being self-sufficient-2/10-This relates to my finances. I’m actually unemployed right now, living on unemployment insurance and my quickly dwindling savings and I do not feel very self-sufficient. I need to secure a job ASAP.

    +Creating art -7/10-I shoot photos almost every day. However, I know I need to spend more time editing, as well as reading about and researching more art history, to better understand the context I’m working in. I also want to experiment with other techniques, specifically 19th-century era photography like wet plate collodions, and ambrotypes and tintypes. I want to push myself and I don’t think I”m pushing hard enough.

    +Sense of belonging-5/10-I’d like to be in love with my city and my community and to really feel a part of it, and I still don’t feel like I’m there yet. This means I need to keep reaching out to my neighbors, saying hi to the people walking past me more often, attending more neighborhood civic meetings, even participating in the neighborhood listserv. And not staying in my apartment all the time.

    +Equity-8/10-I do my best to make sure I treat people the way I want to be treated. Fairness, balance, the golden rule-that is extremely important to me and I hate to see others treated as “less than” for any reason.

    +Kindness to self and others-4/10-I’m giving myself a low score because I’m not always very kind to myself. I need to learn to be more patient with myself, to trust in myself more, and basically give myself the love and caring and attention I have no problem giving to others.

    +Political awareness-4/10-The low score is because I don’t keep up with politics nearly as much as I should. Being informed when you go to vote is so crucial and I know I’m not there yet. I need to devote more time to reading and listening to political coverage (local, national, international level) and attending my local ANC meetings (I live in DC.)

    +Freedom-3/10-Although, I’m not entirely sure how to rate this. Freedom is important to me and on a personal level, I don’t feel free because of the debt I’m carrying. On a more macro level, I don’t feel that we’re free because black and brown women face so much racism and sexism every day and affects us in ways that are both subtle and aggressive.

    • Thank you for being so detailed and sharing. Glad to see I’m not alone in some areas (well not necessarily glad lol, no one deserves to feel that way) I feel the same way about speaking up about my expectations, it’s crazy how sometimes I’m so aggressive around friends and family but when I’m outside of my comfort zone, I hesitate on speaking up. I’m unemployed too right now, trying to figure out how to make ends meet until something comes along. Last, I feel the same about being kind to myself by giving myself more care and attention than I do others. Keep in mind that nothing lasts forever and just keep pushing, your breakthrough is on it’s way!

      Good luck on your journey!

  22. This took a lot of mental work but worth the reflection.

    5~God: read my Bible daily, pray daily, live according to God’s Word
    6~Faith: believing God’s Word, listening to God’s voice, acton what God instructs me to do
    6~Close Relationships with people I care about: nurture the relationships I do have, expand on new ones, reach out to people I need to reconnect with
    8~ Standing up for my beliefs: say, using tact, how something is not right, trust God, don’t have an argument on the topic
    7~Purpose: reflect on strengths, pray, don’t give up
    6~Good with finances: start investing, continue to cut unnecessary expenses, watch where every penny goes
    8~Education: take more personal development classes, use the skills I’ve learned while getting my bachelor & master, continue to read in order to grow more
    7~Homeowner: complete all DIY projects I’ve started, continue to keep it clean and well organized, maintain all the regular mantainence
    6~Travel: plan 4 trips a year, invite a friend or my sister to tag along on some, take 1 trip alone for complete relaxation
    4~Health: make a commitment to workout at least 3x/wk, cook more meals and eat out less, motivate & accompany my mom as she works on this as well

    *I would say if I were living in full accordance with my values, I would not be making this list. lol. If I could rate myself as a “10″ across the board, I would think I was a robot. No one can be a perfect “10″ in everything but striving and making the effort makes you a “10″ in God’s eyes.

  23. Pingback: 31 Days to Reset Your Life: Recap and Reflect | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life + Business

  24. Another completed assignment, but not shared…
    ________________________________________________

    2 / 2 1. PEACE (balance, harmony, order, laughter, joy)
    4 / 6 2. HEALTH (fitness, mental health, emotional health
    7 / 7 3. PERSONAL GROWTH & DEVELOPMENT (education, self-help, learning, intellect)
    2 / 2 4. SECURITY (finances, wealth, abundance, shelter, food, clothing)
    1 / 3 5. ROMANTIC LOVE (intimacy, passion, commitment)
    4 / 6 6. SELF EXPRESSION & COMMUNICATION (openness, communication, creativity)
    6 / 6 7. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (family, friends, self)
    5 / 5 8. SPIRITUALITY (faith, hope, prayer…)
    4 / 4 9. SUCCESS (business, life, ambition, teamwork, fairness,)
    8 / 8 10. CHARACTER (truth, trust, honesty, integrity, loyalty, respect)
    R / D <—-"R" is my rating and "D" is my sister friend's rating
    43/49 <—–MY TOTAL OUT OF 100!!

    In order for me to get to 100
    1) maintain order in every aspect of my life
    2) continue working out, eating healthy, and getting medical checkups for ALL
    3) read, read, read
    4) get current and make arrangements
    5) let go, express feelings, be open and unguarded, take risks
    6) say what you need to say when you need to say it, patience, get answers, stop over analyzing
    7) reach out and visit more, be more social and sociable, honor myself and my feelings
    8) mediate and pray, journal (get back to it) practice the law of attraction (7 spiritual laws of success, the secret)
    9) complete all outstanding things for others, develop a plan for consulting, practice
    10) feel your feelings, tell the truth to yourself about yourself, make change, shift, adjust, grow!

  25. Suffice it to say that I got low scores on each of my Top 10 Values. But I already knew this. Several months ago, I literally woke up and asked myself, “I did I end up with this life that is the exact antithesis of anything I have ever wanted?” My life really is the nightmare that I had as a child and teenager. It really is.

  26. Had my first “aha” moment! I’ve been so aware of what was going wrong and that I didn’t feel as though I had the power to fix it, but it was that one question “if you were living your values, what would that look like? what kind of actions would you be taking” that really changed it for me.

    For example I’m in law school but don’t want to be a lawyer and feel frustrated always going to law related events. When I asked myself the above question, my response was to network at events that focus on my subject areas of interest and not go to as many law related events. It’s something so simple, but I didn’t realise I was holding on so tightly to the need to fit in so badly with how other law students choose to network.

    I already knew what the concrete steps were, I just haven’t been doing them or didn’t realise that I already knew what they were!

  27. Ratings & Values in Action

    1. Spirituality/God- Rating: 5- Although I pray often I don’t think I pray enough. Prayer should be done a minimum of 3x/day; just thanking him for all that he’s done. I would also like to learn how to meditate.

    2. Family/ The institution of marriage- Rating: 6- I have a very close relationship with my family but I would like to spend more quality time with my grandmothers. I am also nowhere near getting married since I am not dating anyone seriously.

    3. Friends- Rating: 7- I love my friends and I am there for them whenever they need me. However, when it comes to socializing I sometimes find myself being lazy and then I miss out on a lot that is going on in their lives. Increasing the time I talk/spend with them would make our relationships better.

    4. Education- Rating: 7-A decision needs to be made about whether or not I want to go into a PhD. program. I also need to contact supervisors in order to begin my clinical hours.

    5. Success/Achievement- Rating: 9- I have been very blessed in this department. I have accomplished everything I have set my mind to accomplish once I actually try it. But there is always room for improvement when it comes to being the best that you can be.

    6. Financial security/freedom, money-Rating: 4-Currently I am stable financial but still living check to check. Having true financial security means having savings that could pay my bills for an entire year, the ability to pay cash for any and everything I want and need, and additional money for investments. This would also mean being credit card debt free!

    7. Business ownership- Ratings: 1- I have only begun to conceptualize a business plan for my first business which is the home pole party company. I was hoping to have that up and running before the end of the year but due to my financial situation it does not look like it’s going to happen yet.

    8. Being a role model for young women of color- Rating: 7- So far I believe I have been doing a great job at this. I often educate my students on healthy relationships, safe sex, and furthering their education. In addition I serve as the African American Club advisor and the assistant girl’s basketball coach. One day I plan on being a head coach of a girl’s basketball team but I know that will require some time to gain more experience. For me to get to a “10” I would like to personally mentor a young lady and possibly start a non profit for teen girls.

    9. Love- Rating: 6- I am in love with love. I try my best to show people that I love and care for them. And I also open myself up to receiving love. However, my love life isn’t in the best of shape. It seems as though the men I meet are unavailable to me. Having love would mean that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. And we are both able to speak each others’ love languages and willing to be in a committed, monogamous, relationship.

    10. Health/Healthy living/Health education-Rating: 7- I am so proud of myself for releasing those 20lbs. That was a lot of un-needed weight on my body and I am glad I released it. Keeping the weight off, making better eating choices, and taking care of my entire body (not just my weight) is what a “10” would look like!

  28. Sharing part one of this exercise:

    1. Having my own family – Rating: 1 – I’m currently not dating anyone so I am nowhere near this value :/

    2. Personal & professional success – Rating: 5 – My plans and ideas are all written out, I just need to put some action behind it all. Fear has kept me from progressing but I am working hard to ignore the fears and doubts and make my dreams come to life. I’ll never know unless I try…

    3. A deeper & stronger relationship with God – Rating: 2 – I have always had a hard time maintaining my spiritual life. I start off reading the Bible or some other spiritual teachings, praying daily and then I fall off. I think I put too much pressure on myself. My friends tell me it’s not that hard to have a relationship with God. I think I have too many distractions in my life that are taking my time and attention away from God.

    4. Travel – Rating: 2 – Traveling is very important to me but I have not done much lately. If money wasn’t such a big factor, I would take a year off and travel. Beofre 2011 ends, I will plan and take three trips.

    5. Financial security – Rating: 4.5 – This weekend I opened another checking account to serve as my household account. The household account will serve as the account for bills, rent, and groceries. I also decided to pay myself an allowance of 20% of my take home pay each pay day. My allowance will cover my personal expenses such as hair appointments, mani/pedis, shopping, dining out, concert tickets, etc… I also set a financial goal to save $800.

    6. A successful business of my own – Rating: 5 – See answer for #2 but to elaborate, I do have a business I want to start that will be relatively little to no cost to start, I just need to apply for a business license and make it happen.

    7. Good mental and physical health – Rating: 8 – Knock on wood I will always have good mental and physical health. I have a small personal challenge going right now where I will have fruit instead of the potato chips and/or cookies. I meet my daily goal of 2 to 3 liters of water a day *pats self on the back*

    8. Time to volunteer and serve in my community – Rating: 8 – I just started volunteering as an adult literacy tutor again. I have one student that I am working with. It makes me feel good that I can help someone improve their reading skills.

    9. A life filled with adventure – Rating: 1 – My life is seriously lacking adventure and I need to find some good, clean trouble to get into, lol!

    10. Friendship – Rating: 9.5 – I’m so glad that the friendships I have are on solid ground. I have friends who live out of state and I worry sometimes that I am neglecting them since I do not talk to them on a regular basis. I will make a better effort at keeping the long distance relationships a priority.
    Read my latest blog post…The Dyson Technology Experience: Keep Cool In Style!

  29. Love- 6
    I can focus on be more kind and gentle to myself

    Knowledge- 8
    Obtain my LMSW
    Attend one networking event per month
    Read up on news, research, that’s focused on my niche

    Peace- 7
    Write in my gratitude journal

    Self Care- 8
    Take more naps
    Set aside one day a week that’s devoted strictly to self care

    Beauty- 7
    Upgrade wardrobe to include new accessories and clothing that reflect my personal style

    Service- 4
    Volunteer on a monthly basis

    Spirituality- 7
    Ask God for guidance and synchronicities

    Family/friends- 5
    Call home once a week

    Integrity- 4
    Be honest, even when it may be uncomfortable

    Balance- 5
    Set phone alarm to ring every hour during the work week to bring myself back in the present moment (practice more mindfulness)

  30. Pingback: #31DayReset Day 7: Rest, Reflect and Comment | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life + Business

  32. thanks for this assignment Rosetta. it really helping me to see what i need to do to have the life i want. i feel like i have a roadmap for what i need/want to do in order to be content.

  34. Wow!! This assignment really gave me a moment and wondered what I really valued when I had to put a number beside it. I thought if I valued it so much then why were the numbers so low. I see that I have to put more time into them, but in my mind I felt like I was. Learning something new everyday about me and I love it.
    Read my latest blog post…New Habits for Success (Short Post)

  35. Ok, here’s mine:

    Rating myself 1-10 I would be:
    Honesty-7
    Commtment-6
    Love-5
    Authenticity-7
    Indepencence-4
    Positivity-8
    Learning/Experiencing- 8
    Relationship with God-6
    Health-5
    Family-6

    The three actions I’d need to take for me to be a “10” in every area:
    Honesty-
    • Telling the truth even when it’s uncomfortable.
    • Owning up to my feelings.
    • Not backing down from the right thing
    Commitment
    • Being patient
    • Making a plan so I stick with my goal even when it’s difficult.
    • Having faith, moving even when I’m not sure where I’m going.
    Love
    • Not fearing being selfless, and leaning to act without expectations
    • Knowing I am deserving of love from the people around me, insisting on it, and limiting access to people who don’t treat me the way I should be treated, and recognizing/ appreciating those who do.
    • “You must love yourself before you can love anyone else” I’d do this by respecting myself, asserting my boundaries, and not seeking perfection. Making the choice to be happy instead of right.

    Authenticity
    • Scheduling regular “me” time, doing things that make me feel good
    • Trusting that I was created perfectly as is even when I stumble and no one thing or decision defines me unless I let it.
    • Being open to growth, expanding my surroundings and accepting of change.
    Independence
    • Creating my own financial security, managing my money so I can live a comfortable and fulfilling life.
    • Venturing out on my own to do things, not needing to be in a group or with somebody.
    • Trusting myself, my experience, and my instincts.
    Positivity
    • Appreciating what I have and taking time to be grateful and say thank you.
    • Believing in ultimate goodness, that everything happens in my best interest and maintaining that outlook so I don’t go through so many ups and downs emotionally.
    • Giving back to others through kindness, inspiration, or humanitarianism.
    Learning/Experiencing
    • Constantly on the quest for knowledge, reading, writing, travel.
    • Spending more time doing than wondering or thinking about doing.
    • Not judging my decisions as good/bad, wrong/right but instead using my choices as a way to determine if it is taking me somewhere I want to be. [Does/did this bring me closer or further from my ideal life? If further, How? Why? And what do I do to get closer?]
    Relationship with God
    • Understanding religion more to figure out my discontent.
    • Maintaining prayer and being receptive to guidance
    • Connecting with people who maintain the type of spiritual relationship I’m working towards to keep me on track.
    Health
    • Really committing to more physical activity whether it’s hitting the gym, an aerobic class or getting back into dance.
    • Picking up hobbies that stroke my creativity, improve my quality of life and keep my mind working.
    • Learning how to eat healthier more balanced meals, cooking more, taking vitamins, and cutting out the junk.
    Family
    • Spending time with my family being active in their life and keeping them active in mine.
    • Keeping the lines of communication open
    • Continually striving to build stronger relationships and repair damaged ones

  36. yay I made it!!! so glad cuz I am trying to be consistent.. I have posted my answers on my blog…feel free to check it out… I have some really low marks in finances/financial security and some other stuff.. and well we know actions speak louder than words sooooo I am about to do it…

  41. So, I have been delaying this for quite some time. Heard about the program a while ago. So you know what I need to work on – procrastination. This is day % and I am just joining in. I will try my best to catch up over the weekend and post as I go.

  42. Todays assignment challenged me to see the incongruence between what I say I value and how I actually live. My list is more about what I want my values to be. I am thankful for the reflection it took to do this. I actually revisted a blog I created a while ago and will use this to follow this reset. Thanks Rosetta.
    http://www.got2beabetterway.blogspot

  43. Here are my Ratings of my values Respect-9\Love-8\Family-2\Education-7\God-4\Health-5\Independence-7\Living Environment-8\Finances-5\Privacy-9.How My Values Look in Action. Family- I would talk and spend time with my family more. My mother and I will talk on the phone on a daily basis. My father and I will be closer and I will not get as angery with him. My two brothers and I relationship will develop and I will learn new things about them. I will make efforts to contact my mother’s and father’s side of the family. God- I will have found a church home. I would attend church every Sunday and make an effort to understand the bible. Also, I would pray more often. I would also pay my tithes and offerings. My relationship with God will be more intimate and I would start to to depend on him more. Finances- I would have found a job that pays well. I will no longer have to depend on my dad for money. My savings amount will be double or triple than I what I spend. My rent will be payed off for the entire year.

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