The 4th of July holiday is coming up here in the United States where we tend to focus on the concept of “freedom.”
Today I absolutely want to talk about freedom, but I also want to go a bit deeper than that.
Deeper than the actual word “freedom” – which can be defined as:
“the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved”
Technically, as black women we are FREE.
Technically, we are no longer physically in slavery.
Technically, we can do whatever we want.
But just because we have freedom does not mean that we have been LIBERATED.
And when I say “liberated” – I mean from our negative, limiting thoughts about ourselves.
Liberation can be defined as:
“the act of setting someone free from imprisonment, slavery, or oppression”
It is essentially being totally free from having any limits on your beliefs, thoughts or behaviors.
As black women, we have freedom but in most cases, we have not done the inner work to liberate ourselves.
So many of are still living out other people’s plans for our lives.
Many of us still care so much about what other people think that we hold ourselves back from doing what makes us happy.
In the beginning, it’s comforting to know that you’re doing all the “right” things in life that women are “supposed” to do.
But after a while, you just start to feel DISAPPOINTED in yourself and what your life has become.
A list of shoulda, woulda, couldas.
Too many “what if’s” and regrets.
As the years go by, you secretly start to wonder:
“Is this it? I this all there is? Is this what life is really about?”
And you dread the answer staring back at you in the mirror.
I know because that’s what happened to me.
Late 2009 began an intense period of deep personal transformation for me.
I refer to that time in my life as my “year of liberation.”
That was the year I quit my PhD program because I realized that the only reason I wanted to be “Dr. Thurman” was so people would listen to me and read my books. I wanted the world to take me seriously, regardless of my age or skin color.
But I quickly discovered (after just one semester) that getting even more letters behind my name was NOT going to give me the validation I needed.
I realized that what I really needed was to validate MYSELF.
What I needed was to start owning my passion, my expertise, my skills and my experience.
What I needed was to learn to be OK with being ME.
2009 was also the year that I decided to go natural.
Then in 2010, I did the “big chop” and went from wearing my hair relaxed and straightened to rocking a teeny weeny afro.
At the same time, I quit my job because deep down, I KNEW that I could go out on my own and become a successful entrepreneur.
I just had to take the leap.
And once I did, here’s what I learned:
That I could do anything I wanted with my life and NO ONE COULD STOP ME.
My “year of liberation” was the year I began doing exactly what I WANTED to do, not what other people thought I SHOULD be doing.
It was the year I stopped waiting for PERMISSION.
And I truly became free.
Which is why lately I’ve been thinking….
Maybe this is YOUR year of liberation.
Perhaps this is the year you STOP seeking other people’s approval and START making the choices you already KNOW are right for you.
If you feel in your heart that NOW is the time for you to make a change in your life and finally DO YOU, the best place to get support would be my 31 Days to Reset Your Life program.
It was designed to help you press the “reset button” on your life and start over so you can rediscover who you really are, get unstuck and live the life you truly want.
Learn more and begin your 31 Day Reset Journey here: http://31dayreset.com