#31DayReset Day 2: Take an Honest Assessment of Your Life

life assessment image

This post is Day 2 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.

Many of us have a love/hate relationship with the current state of our lives. There are some things that we enjoy and appreciate about our circumstances, but if we’re honest with ourselves, there are some things we want to change about them, too. But before you can get clear about where and how you might improve, you need to have a good sense of where you are right now. You need to take an honest assessment of your current reality.

The purpose of today’s two-part exercise is twofold:

  1. To force you to own up to exactly which areas you’d like to improve upon in your life.
  2. To give you encouragement to build on what’s already great about it.

Estimated Time to Complete: 60- 90 minutes

To complete this exercise, you will take an honest assessment of seven specific areas of your life:

  • Lifestyle (satisfaction with where you live/living environment, how you spend your leisure time these days)
  • Work (satisfaction with where you work right now, what you do to earn your living)
  • Education (satisfaction with your educational attainment to date – college, vocational school and other learning goals)
  • Finances (the current state of your budget/money management, salary, net worth, debt-to-income ratio)
  • Health (the current state of your mental, physical and spiritual health – mind, body, soul)
  • Family (the quality of your relationships with family members, siblings, children)
  • Relationships (the quality of your relationships with friends and romantic partners)

For each of these specific areas of your life, simply ask yourself two questions.

  1. What do I LIKE about this area of my life?
  2. What do I DISLIKE about it?

You can either write your responses in your Reset Notebook or print out the Life Assessment Worksheet below. Just print it out, write your answers and insert or paste into your Notebook.

Download the Life Assessment Worksheet (optional)

Take Action and Reflect: When you’re done, please share your honest life assessment with us in the comments! List some or all of your likes/dislikes for each area of your life and see how they compare with others in the challenge. If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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91 comments

  1. Ok, here it goes:
    LIFESTYLE- I live with my retired parents because it’s comfortable and not expensive. But on the same not I was here to help with taking care of my mom who has had alot of health issues. But this pass Xmas realize it is way past time to get my own place and space. So I would like to get my own place.

    WORK- I’ve in a comfort place knowing its past my time there but to finish school to change by position. It sucks when you get lazy and comfortable. And tolerate a situation you know you can change. I’m getting it together.

    Education- to not let someone in my past that had negitive adivice hinder me from going, but to finish. I’ve enrolled this semester and I will finish.

    Finances – but to the current job isn’t enough to live on my own and need to pay off some debt and begin my plan to make what I get work do I can be ready for the abundece of a little more.

    HEALTH- I’ve avoided the doctors only to not here of my weight. But this past summer I buckled down got a physical and I’m getting my weight under control.

    FAMILY- I’ve been truly Blessed in this area to have a close relationship with my family. I thank God for this one.

    Relationships- could use a little tweeting.
    Through it all with strengthening my relationship with God and desiring to want to change me for me and be a better me. Will help open my life up to new and better possibilities. Good Bless!

  2. Hi there ladies!

    I must say,I’m a little intimidated to be in the company of such achieved and driven women. I’ve been reading all your posts and I feel like I would kill to have your lives! On the other hand,I am chest-banging proud to see all my sistas “doin’ it for themselves”!
    Today is technically my day4 but I am so busy paddling trying not to sink,that I have only just managed to get day2 in writing.
    And Wow. What a trip! I cried,I shook with anger, I cried again. It is so revealing that my ‘dislike’ paragraphs are miles longer than my ‘like’ ones.
    I clearly have to call the police on the pity party and get to work fast!
    On the bright side,I feel like I’m in the right place. Change…here I come!

    • Yes, you are in the right place! And please don’t feel bad for getting behind on the daily assignments – just go at your own pace and give yourself whatever time you need to process. Thank you for being here and sharing your journey with us :)

    • This is my second time around with this. So I understand the being busy paddling and trying not to sink. Just stick with it SJ. You will learn a lot about yourself. Good luck with the Reset!

      Sharonda

  4. This was a very difficult exercise but very necessary. I’m glad I did it because it forced me to take a real look at what I value about my life and what I need to work on.

    *Lifestyle-

    What I like:
    •I like the neighborhood I currently live in. It’s very quiet and peaceful. Of course, there have been some issues, but for the most part, it is a safe neighborhood. There is always a police officer roaming the streets to make the neighborhood extra safe. I just purchased the home in 2010 and prior to that, my kids and I moved around quite a bit and lived in cramped small apartments. There was always an issue with space or ants. Therefore, I would move almost every year when the lease was up. After moving in my home, I realized that the biggest issue was space and that I moved because I thought moving to another apartment would fix the problem. So, I feel blessed to be in a 4 bedroom spacious home with plenty of storage.
    •I like that I am able to squeeze in time with family and friends from time to time.
    •I am an avid reader and read for enjoyment, opinion, information, and news. Although I like certain shows on television, I would much rather “read the book”.

    What I Dislike:
    •I often feel unaccomplished with goals that I set when I was as young as 17 years old. I feel that I’ve allowed too many distractions.
    •I would have preferred to live overseas and at times wonder if it is really possible to do so now that I am a single parent with 3 children. I’ve been making plans to move to Sweden and I hope that this dream comes true.
    •I would like to be multi-lingual speaking Italian, French, and Swedish.
    •I would like to have more time to enjoy social activities like golf and tennis or happy hour with co-workers and friends. I’d like to just simply get out and do more outside of the house.

    *Work-

    What I like:
    •I feel that my career is finally taking off. I’m still not where I want to be, but I feel that I’m on my way now. Last year, I got a scare that I could possibly be laid off. Instead of letting myself get laid off, I enlisted a professional mentor. She has helped me get my career on track. I’ve been interviewing top people in my organization and preferred profession to find out what they’ve done to get where they are. I’ve gained so many tools and have been directed to s many resources.

    What I Dislike:
    •I don’t like office politics and am still learning to deal with people who want to see you fail. Because I’m such a promoter of others, I don’t understand this and I find myself spending too much time trying to understand it.

    *Education-

    What I like:
    •Academically, I feel very accomplished. I have a BBA in Management Information Systems, a Master of Arts in Professional Development in Management, and ½ of an MBA in Technology Management. I decided to stop the MBA because it wasn’t going exactly where I wanted it to go. I plan to go for a PhD in the area of Business and Technology.
    •I am also ½ way through prep courses that will help me pass the Microsoft Certified Systems Analyst. This certification will give me the background IT skills that I need to go further in my IT career.

    What I Dislike:
    •I am pretty satisfied with my education so far although I plan to go on to the PhD in the future. However, I hate that I wasn’t patient enough to wait on the Master’s degree. Although I am proud, this degree took me significantly into debt and now I am working hard to recover. If I had been a bit more patient, I could have received tuition reimbursement . If I could do it over again, I would only take one class at a time and paid out of pocket. This would have taken me 5 years, but it would be worth not having to worry about loan interest.

    *Finances-

    What I like:
    •I like that I make a monthly budge to tell my money where to do.
    •I like that I have a financial accountability partner that keeps me on my toes.
    •I like that I know the date I will be out of debt through this tool with Primerica called “DebtWatchers”.
    •I like that being disciplined with money is becoming the new norm for me.
    •One day I hope to scream “I’m debt Free!”

    What I Dislike:
    •I don’t like that I have debt. If I could do over again, I would never borrow money unless it was for a mortgage. I believe that borrowing money to purchase a car or education hurts in the long-run. The money I’m paying lenders could be going into my savings or investments. I don’t like the fact that I’m making lenders rich instead of myself.
    •I don’t like that I sometimes slip up in my budget or forget to budget for a necessity.
    •I hate it when some friends and family try to discourage me from paying off debt by saying, “You’ll always have those student loans” or “You’ll always have a car note.” I don’t believe this and am determined to be debt free.

    *Health-

    What I like:
    •I just got my physical results today and am still healthy but can definitely do better.
    •I have been working out, doing the P90X system for 1 week now. It is a 90-day program that is supposed to get you ripped in 90 days. I’ve used the system before and know it works. After having my 3 year old, I was over 200 pounds and got down to 153 pounds in 6 months. It is VERY hard work though.

    What I Dislike:
    •I definitely need to lose weight. I used to be in the military, so this extra weight is very uncomfortable.
    •I went through a very stressful situation last year and eating became my comfort. Today, it is just a very bad and hard habit to break. I feel that I am addicted to certain foods.
    •I miss my 3-4 hour workout days. With the responsibilities of a single parent lying significantly on my shoulders, I rarely have time to focus on working out.
    •I also miss running 6 miles per day. I’m hoping to run again in the future. I would like to do the “Tough Mudder” challenge as seen here: http://toughmudder.com/

    *Family-

    What I like:
    •I have 3 beautiful children who I love dearly. They all have great personalities and keep momma laughing. I love seeing them develop and grow.

    What I Dislike:
    •I would like to spend more quality time with my children, teaching them certain values and principles. I would like to spend more time volunteering at their schools. But I feel pulled in so many different directions and often find myself missing PTA meetings or other important events at the school.
    •I would like more free time to homeschool my children instead. I’m really not satisfied with their public education and the dysfunctional children they come in contact with. I’ve actually enrolled my older 2 children in online elementary school. I’m not sure how I’m going to make this happen, but I’m hoping I can formulate a plan by next school year.
    •I would like to develop a stronger relationship with 2 of my 4 sisters that I rarely see because they live in a different state. They want desperately to be close to me, but the age gap and distance has made it difficult.

    *Relationship-

    What I like:
    •I have 2 wonderful friends that I met in college. They are not afraid to tell me the truth good or bad. They are like sisters to me. They really have my back. We are taking our first vacation together next year. We are doing a Bahamas cruise in June 2012 and I can’t wait! We are all mutual friends .
    •I hit a rough patch with one of these friends but we overcame it and are now closer than ever. We have become even closer and learned so much more about each other because of it. I enjoy the monthly conference calls we have to discuss updates with the family, our goals, our upcoming get-to-gethers, or just to catch-up.

    What I Dislike:
    •I would like to settle down with a good man and develop a solid relationship and companionship.

  5. Ok I’m a day behind in making my post. But as far as my life assessment from yesterday I will say that it took me a little bit longer than 1.5 hours to write. Getting totally honest with myself right….
    Well I realized quite a bit about myself from getting it done and my dislikes throughout my worksheet truly and honestly describe my life currently and my likes on my work sheet is what I need to be resetting my life to get to. Praise God for resets

    • I really liked your post. From what I read in your likes and dislikes, you come off as a positive person who can easily identify her good qualities. I think this will give you a leg up in life. You are dealing with challenges, as we all are, but I think with the knowledge of your strengths you will go far. Thanks for sharing! -Chapin
      Read my latest blog post…31 Day Reset: Day 6 – A Balancing Act of Values

  8. I’m tardy for the party and late to post! Busy day. Here are a few of my points, the areas I’d like to key in on most are relationships, finances, and lifestyle.

    Relationships
    Likes: I love my friends and the people that I have in my life.
    Dislikes: I’d like to have more fulfilling and loving relationships with the people in my life and with the opposite sex. I’d like to have deeper, closer, more personal relationships.

    Finances
    Likes: My steady income.
    Dislikes: I’d like to create more alternative income streams and I’d like to be a more savvy saver and investor. Decrease debt definitely.

    Lifestyle
    Likes: I like my home and I have good neighbors.
    Dislikes: Access! I don’t feel that my lifestyle affords me the opportunity to meet the people that can help me to create the life that I want professionally and personally.

    • I relate to your assessment because I sometimes feel like I have limited access, Stay pressing on and taking action to change all your dislikes and likes to love one day!!! Good Luck with the RESET!!

  9. Lifestyle:
    Like- I live in a safe neighborhood. I have enough space to do what I want to do. I enjoy having a balcony.
    Dislike- Living in Kentucky. After visiting Myrtle Beach I think I could wake up to that every morning.

    Work:
    Like- Having the chance at being good at what I do. I like the positive reinforcement and being acknowledged for my hard work.
    Dislike- What I do right now is certainly not where I want to be permanently. Close to minimum wage and sometimes leaves me feeling embarrassed for what I do now as opposed to what I have accomplished in the past.

    Education:
    Like- I have earned a Bachelors degree- very proud of that.
    Dislike- I have chosen the wrong field to go into. Feel like my choice of major has led me to jobs that have left me miserable because it was all wrong for me. I would love to earn my Masters in Counseling Psychology. I will do this some day.

    Finances:
    Like- I know how to manage money. I have the support of family that are willing and able to help.
    Dislike- Not earning much money at the moment. For the first time in my life having to depend on others to get by.

    Health:
    Like- I am in pretty good health. Exercise on a regular basis. Good spiritual health.
    Dislike- My emotional health in the past when I landed 2 particular jobs. They did a number on my emotional health and it caused me to take the leap by quitting. In the future I feel I need to focus on finding work or creating my own opportunities that are more in alignment with my values and my interests. Extremely important to me!

    Family:
    Like- I like that I have a relationship with my family
    Dislike- Feeling like I can’t open up to them as much as I’d like to. Some can be very critical and negative. Ever feel like some family or friends just s*#t all over your dreams?

    Relationships:
    Like- I feel very blessed to have met my husband
    Dislike- I have always struggled with maintaining friendships. I have a few that I keep in contact with occasionally- not enough!

    • This was a great opportunity to reflect, here is a summary of my assessment

      Lifestyle
      I like that I live in a city where there are many options to experience the simple activities that I enjoy solo or with family/friends.

      I dislike that I do not live on my own

      Education

      I like that I am very proud and satisfied with amount of formal education and certification I have achieved

      I dislike that I sometimes feel pressure (social, family, etc) to consider employment opportunities and wages that are supposedly reflective of the degrees that I possess.

      Work
      I like that I have been very successful in securing all of the employment opportunities that have interested me since I began working professionally

      I dislike that I am struggling to be inspired through my work and that I question my sectors ability to challenge social injustice.

      Finances
      I like that I earn a respectable and stable income.
      I dislike that I have no long term financial plan.

      Health

      I like that I have grown more health conscious with each passing year and make efforts to manifest this awareness in my day to day life

      I dislike that I sometimes struggle to balance my obligations (professional/personal) with my own self care and emotional well-being

      Family
      I like that I have a strong bond and loving relationship with my immediate family. Especially with my mom!

      I dislike that I have felt obligated to consistently take on joint responsibility for some of my family members’ personal and financial struggles.

      Relationships

      I like that I have a mutually supportive group of diverse friends. I also love that most of these friends are wonderful black women.

      I dislike my romantic relationship status. I am at a point in life where I want to meet men and find someone I connect with and I have no idea what to do.

      :D

  11. Day 2: I haven’t blogged about it yet because I’m not sure if I want to. We’ll see what happens.

    Lifestyle Likes: I am doing new things and having a lot of fun! My leisure time is truly full of joy.
    Lifestyle Dislikes: I think I’m ready for a change in where I live as far as apartment and city/state. It’s been six years in this city and 2 in this apartment. I haven’t really made it my home and that could be affecting the way that I feel about it.

    Work Likes: I love what I do. My students are amazing and they bring joy to my life on most days.
    Work Dislikes: I’m not living up to my full potential, people take me and what I do for granted, and I honestly feel like I should be doing some other things that I don’t get to do here.

    Education Likes: I’m almost done with my associates degree.
    Education Dislikes: That I am not at a 4 year institution.

    Finances Like: I have two jobs that pay me okay money.
    Finances Dislike: I still feel like I don’t make enough money and therefore it seems almost impossible to get out of debt even though I know that it’s possible.

    Health Likes: I am emotionally and spiritually in a good place. I am growing in both of these areas and I can see positive change in my life right now.
    Health Dislikes: I am overweight and out of shape. It is a mess that I need to get under control so that I don’t have the health issues that run rampant in my family.

    Family Likes: For the most part I enjoy my family and like the relationships that I have with them.
    Family Dislikes: I don’t get to see them enough. I don’t talk to them enough. I don’t have a consistent relationship with my Dad which affects my relationship with my youngest brother.

    Relationships Like: I love my circle of friends. They are cool and fun and seem to be accepting me just the way that I am. I don’t feel like I have anything to prove and it’s all good.
    Relationships Dislike: I am insecure in my romantic dealings with men and it keeps from being able to productively have anything more than friendship.

    That’s me in a nutshell! Sheesh, I have some work to do!

  12. Lifestyle
    LIKE: I like being at home, esp being in Bim. I love to travel but I have always thought I would settle down and live right here. Maybe not in this house, but certainly in Bim. I like being with my dad and I like that I seem to be getting more rest lately, just took up crochet again. ^_^
    DISLIKE: I hate not living on my own, hate not having my own space and being able to walk around nekkid if i feel like etc.

    Work
    LIKE: ummmm, I like that I have a job and thus have money to spend. I like being around kids, esp the ones I have now even tho they can be a pain sometimes. Being a teacher can and has been rewarding at times so I definitely don’t hate my job. I esp like our new principal and how much more efficient things seem now.
    DISLIKE: I dislike how piss poor the salary is and the lack of effort from some colleagues. I hate that they sometimes try to brain wash me into being more like them and doing less or speaking up less. I hate not being able to help all my kids. I try not to get too personal but I am never able to achieve that distance from them. They are all my babies. I hate that some parents seem to care less about their own child than I do. I hate that I still haven’t found a good way to launch a career as an interpreter…what am I doing?

    Education
    LIKE: I love that I have 2 bachelor degrees. Love that I am still part computer geek. Adore my inner nerd. I love the opportunities it has provided me ie travelling to France, working in Japan etc.
    DISLIKE: I suppose I dislike how lazy I have become wrt finding a degree or certificate to become an interpreter. Also what ever happened to my goal of learning 6 languages and becoming a CIA agent?? hmmmmmmmmmmm

    Finances
    LIKE: I like that I haven’t had to beg anyone for any money to do ANYTHING! What I have, I worked hard for. I take care of all the bills and problems in this house. I have no debt (Thanks, Daddy) and I am able to eat proper food everyday.
    DISLIKE: I hate that I don’t seem to be earning enuff for the lifestyle I want to maintain. Right now I am on a seriously strict budget until Xmas and it is rough turning down so many things. Bills are just going up n up, no help there. I have gone way below my zero-balance and I am defnitely not pleased about that. I just seem to keep burning thru money and I don’t feel like I am doing a whole lot. I need to find a way to earn about 2K more when the month comes.

    Health
    LIKE: I like that I have been eating healthier all year and getting into the gym more. I lost 10 lbs recently and have the body of an 18 yr old, according to the Body Age assessment, lol, so that is great. I like that I still wake up each day and try to see it as a new day with new opportunities.
    DISLIKE: I am losing my faith in myself to overcome hardships. I actually miss going to church. I still want rock hard abs. I am losing my mind.

    Family (the quality of your relationships with family members, siblings, children)
    LIKE: My dad is still alive. He may not know me due to Alzheimers but he is still here. My older sis, Pearl and I still get along really well despite the age difference. She is the youngest 50 yr old I know. I love love LOVE my neice and nephew. It took some time but my brother-in-law and I have become close. I still have a family.
    DISLIKE: I think i miss my mum. I hate that I may never know my other nephew, Elijah. I have lost contact with my mother’s side of the family.

    Relationships
    LIKE: I love how my friends and I don’t have to be in contact daily but we still check in etc. We know exactly when to push or pull and we r always there for each other. I love the ppl still in my life, i recently stopped talking to quite a few losers and cleared out that part of my life. I am all about quality.
    DISLIKE: I hate being single. Hate that I’m single but my heart is taken by someone who may never ever be able to show me how he feels or want me the way I want him. I fear I will be single for the rest of my life simply because I will never be able to get over him.

    • Hey there!

      funny how some of our values are similar yet we don’t even know each other. anyway just wanted to say all the best with the challenge :) do you blog?

  13. Well, I completed the Day 2 assignment on Day 2, but am just now posting it. (Procrastination. That’s one thing I’d like to change about myself.) Anyway, as I was writing down my likes and dislikes in each category, it seemed like the dislikes were aplenty, and it was a struggle to come up with any likes. I don’t understand why, because when I put things in perspective, I really have been blessed. So why is it so hard to find the positives? Maybe they’ve just gotten buried under all the BS I THINK I’m going through. Who knows? But hopefully, I’ll remember them again after I complete this challenge. Now on to my responses:

    Lifestyle – Like: I live in a safe neighborhood, a clean home and I have the freedom to express myself creatively in my home. Dislike: I’ve become so inactive. I want to get out more and do things, but I don’t know what to do that doesn’t always cost money or involve eating. I’m trying to find things to do solo and not feel awkward.

    Work – Like: I work for a good company. Great flexibility, good pay, and adequate benefits. Dislike: Those things don’t make me happy. Also, my daily commute is an hour each way. And I am not happy in my position. I am an administrative assistant and while it was a fine career choice when I was 19, here it is 20 years later and I’m still an administrative assistant. There is no creativity in my job and I need that.

    Education – Like: I made it to my 3rd year in college, I am proud of that. Dislike: When the DOE loans stopped, so did I. Now I have three years into a field that seems almost dead (interior design) and my passion for it is dying right along with it. I should have finished anyway.

    Finances – Like: My husband and I both have decent incomes and live a good life. Dislike: We have a high debt-to-income ratio. I want to get the debt way down so we can focus on saving more for retirement.

    Health – Like: I am in good physical health. Dislike: I struggle with my spiritual health and sometimes question my mental health.

    Family – Like: The close bonds between me, my mother, my grandmother, and my daughter. Dislike: Even though my daughter and I are very close (she posted on FB that I am the only one she can count on all the time!), she is 16 years old. And as a 16 year old, she is transforming. I don’t like the transformation and wish I could keep her my little girl.

    Relationships – Wow…This is a loaded one! Married for 4 years, together for 10. You want to know which is the easiest – the 1st year or the 10th year? Neither! They’re all *%@#! hard. Like: We love each other. I think my husband’s love for me is a little more unconditional than mine, however. You can’t beat that. Dislike: I can’t talk to my husband – or at least I feel like I can’t . And for me, that’s bothersome. And I don’t have any friends.

  14. I love your responses. This is my first time really responding to anything online although I read/absorb everything. Here goes my Day 2 assignment:

    Lifestyle:

    Like – I like that I own my house and that it is a blank slate in terms of decorating. My house is very peaceful and quiet. I have the power to make my own choices and I’m not really weighed down by anything except bills and needing money to live although that at times is probably more negotiable than I will readily admit.

    Dislike – I don’t like how far I am from other young black people. I am a good 30 minute drive from downtown which is where I like to hang out but I couldn’t afford to live down there right now. Sometimes I don’t like the fact that my younger sister (who lives with me) and her boyfriend are always there but that’s mainly because I’m single and it can be awkward at times.

    Work:

    Like – I like the autonomy of my job and the freedom to move around. I like helping my students and seeing them achieve. I also like the fact that I have become better connected or well known in my local community for the right reasons. (I volunteer a lot.)

    Dislike – I don’t like the pay, the company, the scandals, and maybe the location (I am in the South but not Atlanta). I no longer feel challenged and I believe I need to move to a new level in my career either via promotion or a change in pace altogether.

    Education:

    Like – I loved my HBCU and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything and I love the BBA/MBA that I have because I worked pretty hard to finish school.

    Dislike – I am unsure of what the next step should be in my education as it relates to my career. Doctorate or pursue a certification? What to do? I suffer at times from analysis paralysis.

    Finances:

    Like – I like the fact that my money is mine and I made it (freedom).

    Dislike – I do not like my credit score or my related credit card/student loan debt. I don’t like my bad habit of impulsive spending and barely saving. Not a good look with a house.

    Health:

    Like – I am like 90% healthy. Lol. I believe in God and He maintains my spiritual well-being.

    Dislike – My 10% of health problems could have “killed” me because of my ignorance of my own health needs. I am always doing too much. I do not exercise enough and my weight gain is a little silly at times (mostly from overindulging in sweets and fast food). My lack of faith and stress sometimes get the best of me. I have lost sleep and some hair over worrying.

    Family:

    Like – I love the closeness of me and my immediate family. I know them very well. We are always gathering and we make each other laugh which creates priceless memories.

    Dislike – I do not like that I will probably never have a relationship with my older half-sister. I worry constantly about my family’s welfare/decision making. I feel as if I need to always “have it together” because I will never know when some mess will pop off and I will have to save the day. I also do not like the fact that I am the only one of the younger generation that consistently comes to Sunday dinner without a boo or a boyfriend or a husband. This may change in the near future but it can be a little difficult at times. Plus, I know that the grass isn’t always greener.

    Relationships:

    Like – I like the fact that I have very close girl and guy friends. They are so hilarious and very diverse in personality and backgrounds. The guy I am seeing now is not what I would have picked or expected but I like him a lot. He inspires me to take a chance on love but in a logical and thoughtful way.

    Dislike – I dislike that I lost my best friend of several years in 2007/2008. Sometimes I wonder if we both feel that the circumstances surrounding our disconnect were petty. I also dislike how desperate and accepting I was in the past with men and all the remnants of such that I deal with currently. My fear of rejection and loneliness has fueled some bad dating decisions. At times, I can be emotionally distant with friends and good men and my family. “I am supposed to help you because you can’t help/love me.” Always emotionally distant but consistent with giving my all to others and being the eternal cheerleader. I want this to change because the right guy is going to want to pour into me and I need to be ready to receive his love and support.

  16. Whew! This was tough for me because I normally gloss over things and say all is well. When I took the time to write out my likes and dislikes, I counted them and had more dislikes than likes. That means I have work to do. I am coming up with goals to eliminate the dislikes from my life, and since I wrote everything in my notebook, I’m going to spare you from reading it all- but I did blog about it- feel free to take a look at what I came up with there :-)
    Read my latest blog post…Honest Hearts Produce Honest Actions

  17. Lifestyle
    Like: Being a homeowner, my home, and the location that I live in. Being able to provide a nice life for my children.

    Dislike: That I haven’t really “lived”. I’ve never even left the east coast. There’s a lot I haven’t seen or experienced. I’m pretty much a homebody.

    Work
    Like: Having employment. Having my own office. I know my job well and I like being able to be informative. I like that I’m studying for my broker license.

    Dislike: My commute. My salary. Dealing with so much money every day. That there’s no room for advancement here.

    Education
    Like: That I really pushed myself to earn enough credits for my degree. That even though it took me some time, I returned to school to better myself.

    Dislike: Not actually holding my degree due to finances. Not having more education at this point of my life. Not being able to return to school due to finances.

    Finances
    Like: Having enough to care for my family’s basic needs. Having retirement accounts and other investments.

    Dislike:
    Not having enough for extra things. Having to hold off on certain things we want and sometimes need. Not earning more money at this time in my life. Not having enough savings for a rainy day.

    Heath
    Like: Physically I’m in pretty good health. Other than a few aches and pains here and there.
    Dislike: My weight. I’d like to lose about 25 lbs and get into better shape. I deal with mild depression from time to time.

    Family
    Like: I like that I have a drama free relationship with my family. I love the relationship I have with my mom. I like that my immediate family, brother & mom, have my back when I need them.

    Dislike: That I’m not more affectionate towards my children. I don’t call my brother or other family members more often and stay in touch with them. I dislike my mom being 5 hours away.

    Relationships
    Like: I have a supportive husband. I have 2 best friends that I can share anything with and they always have my back.

    Dislike: I don’t keep in touch with my friends/associates as often as I should. I have more associates than I have true friends. I have a difficult time building and maintaining friendships. My marriage is not at a great point right now.

  18. Whew! Well that took a lot of work… and much more digging than I {honestly} wanted to do! But it’s done and it’s for me. This exercise is the one that tripped me up last time I tried the reset. It’s so intimate and it’s so honest. But I did it and I’m proud! Overall, I was glad to see the areas that are thriving, but it’s hard to look at the areas that are not.

    Here is my Honest Assessment: http://nicoleamanda.com/31-days-to-reset-my-life/day-2-an-honest-assessment/

    Keep blooming!
    Read my latest blog post…A Letter to Summer…

  19. Day #2
    LIFESTYLE
    Likes: My neigborhood is peaceful and clean and feels safe. Glad that I have been using my leisure time to do things I enjoy like hearing live music. I like that this year I was able to travel to book my first international trip. I like that I am finally using my leisure time to do things I’ve wanted to do for a while.

    Dislikes: I don’t live in the poppin’ part of time and sometimes I think that holds me back socially.

    WORK
    Likes: good pay,great hours, flex schedule, easy commute

    Dislikes: Its a job and not a career and I don’t see how I’m growing professionally here. I want more than a paycheck

    EDUCATION
    Likes: satisfied w my 4 yr degree, I love that I take writing classes in creative non fiction and would like to study the craft more and build a writing portfolio

    Dislikes: that my eduation has not led to a solid career. I don’t want to go in debt for another degree if it won’t help me develop my career.

    FINANCES
    Likes: I manage my money well. Paying off debt by minimizing my lifestyle has left me w a favorable debt to income ratio.

    Dislikes: Uncle Sam takes a lot of my salary because I am single with no dependents/write offs. Need to work on developing/increasing my net worth.

    HEALTH
    Likes: healthy with health insurance. weeky dance class,watch what i eat, healthy body weight, mentally, physically, and emotionally strong

    Dislikes:could stand to focus on my spiritual practice more. have completely turned away from active study and practice. would like others to fellowship with.

    FAMILY
    LIKES: i told my mom how i feel about our relationship instead of just holding it in and I am glad we talked about things
    Dislikes: wish i had a stronger support system in my family life. don’t really get the support that i give to others and it makes me feel unappreciated

    RELATIONSHIPS
    Likes:becoming more social. I’m a loner and I do everything alone but now I am starting to enjoy the companionship of others and not making a big deal about it just enjoying their company for what it is. Starting a film and book club with an aquaintance soon. Single and focused on improving my dating behavior and correcting unhealthy patterns

    Dislikes: don’t have a best friend (anymore) and I miss that.

  20. Here’s a few of my points:

    Lifestyle
    Likes: My living situation/environment is much healthier for me this time around then it was last year.
    Dislikes: I really would like to look into owning my own space, whether that is a condo, apartment, home, etc. My leisure time (what leisure time?) is usually spent doing something for someone else or something else. I model, chair a women’s organization and have a boyfriend, so I rarely spend leisure time for myself. I really want to take out time to do yoga, write more creatively, read articles of interest, listen to music, cook for myself, blog, etc.

    Education
    Likes: I’m extremely satisfied with the quality of my undergraduate education and where it has taken me thus far. I’m also satisfied with the “on the job” learning I’ve gained within three years that I have been in the workforce.
    Dislikes: I recognize that it is time for me to go back to school and pursue higher education, but the “what” is the BIG question for me. What do I what to pursue, where and when? I guess the first major step for me would be to take the GRE.

    Health
    Likes: I’m relatively healthy. I try my best to eat healthy and exercise a couple of times during the week. I am being proactively in terms of how I react to situations that I deem stressful. I’m trying to be more aware of my own personal triggers.
    Dislikes: I recognize that I do put myself in situations that will have an adverse effect on my health i.e, cause stress mentally and physically. I’m spiritual, but do recognize that I need to take more time out to talk to God and mediate….more me time so I can listen to myself and my body.

    • I can relate to your dislikes in the Education section. I too thought that higher education was the next step and was planning on taking the GRE. I am at a scary place now because I have decided not to pursue another degree. I felt like I was just going back to school just to do it so until I determine that I need to pursue another degree I will not. That was a big choice for me. Best of luck to you with whatever you choose to do.

  23. Lifestyle: Like:the fact that my children are in the same state, I enjoy the church that I attend. I’m pretty content
    dislike:I like to do so much more in a shorter lenght of time gap is too big in between fun, ex: VACATIONS, vitsiting a friend or family member I’m too stiff and tense/not enough feeling of freedom and space
    work: Love my time off but
    unemployed! what fun is in having all the time in the world but not enough money to do anything
    Education: I like so many areas in Educ. yet lately I would like to expand in Health Careers.
    dislike: Time and money it takes to continue a higher educ.I’ve taken crs. but lack of experience will not land the job … it a catch 22
    Finances:LIKE THAT I’m so good in budget and witty in my finances
    dislike:Not having enough money to get things done, debt, in arrears, owe money.
    Health: Like: Positive and secure I am also preventive measure and alternatives
    Eventhough age is creeping up and I feel ache and pains and have had some scary moments. dislike No health Insurance not even enough to care for wellness
    Family: like I love my family, my children and I know they are supportive om person and keep a close eye on me and viscerverser
    dislike too many chief not enough indians also those that like under my roof could keep a tiderand cleaner area
    Relationships:like:Friends always at an Arms distance, Some may be closer than other depending area we share and have in common. My lover or Long time Partner…we are tolerate of each other and trying to make the best of things
    dislike: EXPECTATIONS, SOME TRADITION IN A RELATIONSHIP, gotto walk on eggshell just to say something or they feel as if it has to be boomarang and also I’m afraid of the ramafication.

  24. 1. Lifestyle

    I am not truly happy with where I stay, but I am grateful. I stay on campus and it can be a little difficult being 21 and not necessarily having it together in my eyes. I want to get to a place in my life where I can go to school full-time and work and be able to afford a place of my own. My leisure time consists of watching tv and browsing the web. I feel lazy and as if I don’t want nor have anything to do in the city, or even to get up and go to the gym.

    2. Work

    I am currently unemployed and not happy with it and I feel that need to take the initiative more often to get a job, because I don’t like asking my family for money when I need it.

    3. Education

    I am happy with being in school focused on attaining a BS in Chemistry. I want to go to grad school and receive a MPH specializing in epidemiology. After that I will get my Ph.D. I refuse to stop or even give up on these goals, so I pray for the strength and courage to continue on this journey.

    4. Finances

    I’m learning more about money management/ budgeting and I am doing well with it. I know how to calm down on the spending because I don’t have a job. I want to find others streams of revenue also.

    5. Health

    I am healthy, haven’t had any chest or back pains lately, I know it seems so weird for someone to have problems,but yeah. Spiritually, I am connected to God and have a great relationship with him and I try to compare all of my relationships/ friendships with my relationship with God. Mentally, everything is fine, I ask the Lord to renew my mind everyday, so it won’t be cluttered with useless stuff.

    6. Family

    My family is very important to me. I love them with all my heart. They will do anything that I ask of them as long as they believe it will help make me a better person. I will sacrifice everything for them. I figured this out when I moved away from home for the 2nd time and I realized that I love them so much and I really do love being around them, laughing and making new memories.

    7. Relationships

    My relationships with all of my friends are great and close with some and strained with a few and I tend to not fully know when to let go of some friendships because as soon as I am ready to let them go, we reconnect and it seems as if we never stopped conversing, I’m a little confused in that area. I am not currently romantically involved with anyone, so I just want to make myself more approachable, because most guys my age tell me they were intimidated when they first met me because I’m quiet and that is baffling to me.

    I hope to improve in all of these areas of my life!

  25. Lifestyle: like-that I have my own place.
    Dislike: That I am living in a town I hate and want to relocate. I feel trapped and stiffened.

    Work: Like- that I have a job to take care of me and my children.
    Dislike: that I spend soo much in gas and time due to my commute. I’m not able to get the rest I need and spend the time I want with my son. So pressed for time.

    Education: Like- that I did get a degree.
    Dislike: that I did not go further.

    Finance: Like- that I have some, lol
    Dislike: I left a job where I had weekends and holidays off, smh

    Health: Like- that I am alive and kickin
    Dislike: that I don’t fit my clothes and just fell down the stairs at my gym(so much for the kickin)lol, and have diabetes. I want to get rid of the weight but am finding comfort in food.

    Family: Like- my relationship with my children.
    Dislike: my relationship with my mom’s side of the family and the relationship I had(she passed 12/21/09). What do you do when your mother sabotages every relationship, romantic or not, and sucks the life out of you. I took care of my mom for 19 yrs, putting my life on hold and never had gotten married. Never got help from anyone else, not even my brother. My mom said that she was sorry but it never seemed heart felt. I never wanted the guilt of my mom dying alone. But my cousins, aunts, uncles, and my brother hate me due to the lies my mom told them about me. I have one cousin who knows the truth.

    Relationship: Like-???don’t know what to put,lol
    Dislike- I thought I would be married by now. I don’t think that I have a good idea of what a healthy relationship is. I always thought that my relationships ended because of me. Not knowing that my mom would talk to my friends, men, behind my back. She wanted me to be her companion, friend, etc… It was hard to come to the complusion that my mom was my enemy. Now that she is gone I am forced to get my life together, but doing it alone. My children have no grandmother and my niece no father. Doing it by myself.

  27. Hi all!

    I have to play a little catch up…sorry.

    Day 1

    Reset Notebook: I have not purchased me a notebook as of yet. I will get one this weekend

    Personal Mantra: Live~Laugh~Love~Pray

    Live-everyday to the fullest
    Laugh-often as possible
    Love-Freely
    Pray-Often

    Theme Song-Jill Scott “Golden” and Sounds of Blackness “Optimistic” These two songs here picks me up when I’m feeling down. I can listen to both all day long

    ….alright now to Day 2

    Lifestyle: Currently living in Georgia. Like: My spacious 1bdrm apt, when time permits-and $$$ I love to travel several times a yr; when not doing that I love to spend time with my sisters and nieces and nephews

    Dislike: Not able to travel as often as I like. There is so much to see. Spending more time with friends.

    Work: Currently work for the State of Georgia. Like: That I have a job to go to every morning at 7a.

    Dislike: No raise in the last 4yrs (GA say they have no $$), mind not being challenged in my current position, no advancement within the department

    Education: Like: Currently taking Marketing Management classes-in my last semester

    Dislike: I have 2 classes left and I may need to come out of pocket to pay for those classes; which may keep me in school a little longer if I take 1 class per 15wk semester :(

    Finances: This area was the hardest for me to handle. Like: That I have steady incomes to pay my bills

    Dislike: Feeling like I do not have enought $$ to pay and be able to save. CC bills and other small debts, I have NO $$ saved for emergency

    Health: Like: lost 30lbs within the last 6mos. Cholesterol down 15pts

    Dislike: That i am labele morbid obese for my height and weight, That within the last 3 mos, I gained 13 of my 30lbs loss back *tear*

    Family: I love, love my immediate family. My middle sister is the best. Like: I’m the youngest of 4 girls, but my middle sister is 10 toes down for me..thru everything. I am the happiest when I am around my younger nieces and nephews.

    Dislike: Missing my mom & dad dearly, not knowing my mom side of the family, not seeing my sister in Chicago often, not seeing my older nephew often

    Relationships: Like: Seeing friends that are near and far when time permits, I am finally getting into an monogamous relationship after 11yrs being single, aving get-togethers with friends at home

    Dislike: Being in an long distance relationship
    Read my latest blog post…New York, New York City of Dreams

  30. I actually have more likes than dislikes. I’m not sure if it’s because I have chosen to only look ahead and not dwell on mistakes and setbacks. But I do want to share that I love being a homeowner, the chance to begin a new business venture, completed my masters in May, my health is improving and I’ve let go of all the hurt and pain caused by my family in the past. The one thing I do need to work on is building better relationships with others and not allowing the same snide comments to even get an after thought.

  31. Day 2

    I’m current (really on Day 4)but a tiny bit behind on posting it.

    Here’s what’s up!

    Lifestyle: There’s something about townhouse living that I love, love, love! And, I’m living in the best one I’ve ever had. But, the thing is I just wish I could pick it up–and the schools too–and move to a city I adore, because I’m not in love with the one I’m in. And, I don’t dig the neighbors looking at me all funny.

    Work: I’m in front of the computer quite a bit, and the time to up this game was yesteryear. The problem is fear. No–nervous-fear! It really gets in my way.

    Education: Figuring out what masters degree I want to pursue has been crazy-long. And I still don’t know. As far as increasing the skills I need today, I can say that I have been going hard on that since the first of August. And that makes me hopeful about the now.

    Finances: I can’t get myself together like I want to without the proper funds, but putting my money-saving musts first since the beginning of summer makes me think all things financial will come together with continued patience and practice.

    Health: My mind, body and soul are desperately trying to be rescued. The good thing is I’ve been listening–and I’m doing something about the mind and soul. That is why I’m here and sharing. Now I just gotta get moving. But it HAS to be fun. That is all I ask of exercise.

    Family: My relationship with relatives is…uhhh–non-existent! I’ve decided instead of continuing to allow that to make me bitter, which it has for years now, I’m going to concentrate on who I have in my life: my kids and husband–my immediate family. They are who matter most now. I mean really, who has time to be sick from other folks silliness when there is love right up under my nose everyday.

    Relationships: This is a problem area. I’m shy and an introvert, and it’s crippling.

    • I am in the same boat about family but I have learned that letting them go will give you a great sense of peace. After a while if God is in control, they will come back and the relationship will be easier to continue.

      • Vernetta, it did give me peace. I couldn’t help feeling like that can’t be right. But trusting my inner self should be on my list of things to work on too. I’m finding it’s rarely wrong.

  33. Wow – bottom line living inside myself, contained and closed off from people even my own family – on the surface appear close and will help family, frriends at a drop of a hat, yet when it comes to me, will sty silent until it hurts to speak, so pull away – lost friendships.
    Intense, fun, not good with money – like everything in my life all or nothing…..so life livings me and occasionly I do somehing amazing for me and love doing it for others and then I fall inwards doubting my ability..

    • Brenda you sound just like me a few years ago. I was so distant from everything and everyone but I took steps to learn how to love the person I am. It takes time but you will get there.

    • Brenda you sound just like me a few years ago. I had to learn how to love the person I am. It takes time and you will get there.

  34. Day 2!
    I guess I was also in Denial about what was making me sad. I thought It was lack of Joy, but I really to have some “troubles” to sort out. I felt like I was going crazy because I was as content with my circumstances as everyone else seemed.
    Like I didn’t realize how much issue I had with my Family. I’ve always prided myself that my family didn’t suffer from the sterotypical issues. But we still have problems which cause co-dependancy and stagnant lifestyles.
    I also noticed that my family issues reflect in my friend issues (needless to say Love issues too.)
    It spills into every aspect of my life. I’ve always struggled with the feelings that I wasn’t properly “set up”. I’m starting to really see how this affected even the development of my business.
    Thanks for this exercise. I realize I need to let go and step out on faith. I have to set myself up.
    Geez that’s all my business for today…hopefully this will make for a good book when I’m A BIG TIME MOGUL!

  35. How enlightening! The results were really quite sad though. I try to see the silver lining in all things so I have a few likes that are more like things I tolerate. There is an overwhelming amount of things I truly dislike but have ignored for a long time because I didn’t see a simple solution. I hope that with this realization comes action moving me in the right direction!

  36. Wow. This wasn’t easy. (I’m weeks behind y’all, but wanted to tackle this anyway!!) I’m in mid-divorce, so can’t say too much online about finances and the current state of my life. One thing: moving has forced me to simplify, simplify, simplify, and I’m inspired to do more. This has been a great opportunity to get rid of collected junk. Where did it all come from? The two things I mainly journaled about were my health — I have huge problems with my neck and upper back that are keeping me from doing many of the things I long to do. My exercise is mainly walking, but we’ve had great weather recently for walking, so I’m doing it, pushing through pain whenever I can, exploring my new neighborhood.

    I’ve been amazed at how much closer I’m becoming to my “little” brothers as we all grow older… We live far apart, but talk on the phone a lot. My younger brother is like a rock for me. My local support system has grown smaller – divorced women (or almost divorced women) seem to be poison to couples. This makes me sad. My two closest friends have moved away, and visiting through Facebook isn’t quite enough. I’ve been pondering what to do about building a new network. Interesting thoughts. Pages of journaling. Thanks for forcing me to focus…

  37. This life assessment was a good way to break down the things I struggle with and acknowledge the areas I am doing well in. I am satisfied with where I am as far as my education and family. A few years ago I set out to build better relationships with my siblings. I am the oldest and I was a rebellious teen and then out of the house off to college. While in college my family moved to Miami so we haven’t all lived in the same place in about 12 years. We all share a good bond now. I make it my business to have sibling outings when I go visit and I individually spend time with each sibling. The fear of not having a strong bond with them motivated me to make some changes. The areas I need to focus on are Finances and Health. I need to be active in making changes in both agrees to date I have been passive just letting things happen rather than taking a stand and exercising the control I have over them. Building a better relationship with money is vital for me. Work, Lifestyle, and Relationships are also areas I am paying special attention to. They tie in with one another and I think I can make improvements on those collectively.

  38. One thing is clear; although I have ton of freedom in my life, I am absolutely awful at life maintenance. I could blame it on my 24/7 travels, but that is likely something I’ve chosen as a way to get out of taking responsibility for the disconnect I cultivate in certain areas of my life. Two areas that need major work are health and relationships.

    • I’m right there with you JR – I have the freedom, so no excuse not to get it together! My areas of improvement are health and finance. I’ve made some great strides with my health so far, but want to do a lot more. My finances are the next monster to tackle starting this year. They say the first step is realization, right? :)

  39. I’m two days late, but since the last time I did this, I can say that I am seeing results. For a while, I suffered with serious depression and I felt like there was no way out of it.

    Overall, my lifestyle still needs improvement. I am lookimg to move to my own place or possibly another city. I am ready for a change and somecplace new.

    As for work, I am slowly coming to terms with it. There were times when I felt like others and seriously hated my job. However, I need a paycheck and benefits, and day by day it is starting to come along for the better. I am looking for a second job to suffice the low pay I receive. This job has really taught me the value of people.

    Education: I am happy that I received my degree, however for what I want to do I kmow I need training. I need to develop the confidence to go out and get it.

    Finance: Learning the importance od savinf and I really need to learn gow to budget. I want to develop a shooping and traveling fund for myself.

    Health: I really need to change my eating habits and start a daily routine to consistenly work out! ASAP!

    Family: Love them!

    Relationships: Been through a really rough time with relationships and friendships, looking to get some better people in my life.

  41. I really enjoyed this activity! Overall, I can say I’m satisfied but there is ALWAYS room for improvement. Some challenges I have in a particular area are directly related to issues from another. Going step-by-step down the worksheet and actually taking time to write things out (by hand) forced me to focus… and acknowledge some things that I normally just brush past.

    GREAT EXERCISE!!!
    Read my latest blog post…#31DayReset: Day Two

  43. Im late yall. 12 hour shifts. ughhh!!!
    LIfestyle, I like where I live. I like my home and the way it is maintained. I don’t have a social life and thats a problem. Terribly lonely.
    Work: I started a new job recently. I like it. the shifts are long, but I only do 3 a week and few to no weekends. Its hard to be at the beginning. so much to learn.
    Education: very proud of myself for going back to school and getting my RN degree. dislike that I need to go back and get the bachelors.
    Finances: Thankful to have money. enoughth to pay the bills. Sad that there are so many. Need to get out of debt.
    Health: health is good. lost 30 lbs last year and started running.
    Family: Empty nesting, big transition. Husband and I are feeling a little lost
    relationships: Hard to say. My marriage is in a weird place. Not sure which way its going.

  44. Well, it is a day later but I have finally completed my Life Assessment Worksheet. Something I discovered is that many of my dislikes were due to actions by others. I am realizing that even though I know I shouldn’t, I still get emotional about the actions of others. I can not continue to hold on to things that I cannot control and I have to take control of the things I am responsible for.

    I may be disappointed by some things, but I have to move on so I can create and find the things that will bring me great joy. Completing this exercise has brought me joy; before, I got frustrated with the assessment and didn’t complete the reset. I WILL NOT GIVE UP THIS TIME! Thanks again Channing for your help!!

  46. Hi Everyone!

    I finished my challenge a day late, but check it out over at Urbane Perspective! I loved reading your responses to the challenge. I think we’re all in the same boat in terms of changes we want to make in our lives. Glad to know I’m not alone.

    -Donata :)
    Read my latest blog post…31 Days to Reset Your Life: Day Two & Three

  48. Pingback: #31DayReset Day 3: Write a Love Letter to Your Future Self | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life + Business

  49. Well Let’s just say that I did not make time yesterday to answer but anyway…
    I’ll share with you what I ‘ve found :
    - Lifesrtyle: I want to move because everything is so old and dying, I a don’t feel safe , and I lack places to go to have fun
    - Work : I have a job yay !!! My work is giving me serious nightmares and mental health problem though…
    - Education: I love my engineering degree. If possible I would advance it a little bit .. PHD, may be..
    - Finances: good pay, my managing skills as well as my overall mental health has bee going backward.. gotta get back on track
    - health.. weight, skin, and my back and joint needs some help.. My eyes too.. I need some peace of mind and to get rid of this stress and anxiety.. I need to take better care of my health.. Spirituality is a work in progress, I’ve got to keep it up.. and pray some more and differently..
    - Family: I love them; and we are having so much fun together, my siblings and parents and family at large.. it is heaven on earth .. If I could have a child…
    - relationships: people, my people.. the firends department has been a war .. Now I am back to very old friens and to close family friends.. I am still the good ear though. I also need some new friends and a MAN in my life.. time is passing by , and I sometimes have major deressed moments :(

  51. I really enjoyed reading pieces of everyones assessments and it felt good know that I’m not along with some of my dislikes. I wrote a lot but to sum it up my areas that I dislike the most were Health,Finances,Work and Relationships. Writing it down and owing it was hard but much needed.

    (Health)-I’m not happy about my weight and I’m a emotional eater so its a real challenge.

    (Finances)-I know that I should save more and invest in my daughters future.

    (Work)-I would run my business full-time.

    In Relationships I have trust issues and struggle with letting my guards down.
    Read my latest blog post…What do you do when the trill is…

  52. Hey everyone!! So my assessment was pretty long so I will just a quick re-cap

    When it comes to the dislikes I must say fortunately I had very few!!! the only areas that I really feel the need for some major change is Finances, Health, and Work.

    Finances because I need to make more money in order to save!

    Health because I know I need to change the way I eat along with the amount of activity I do to stay fit and energized.

    Work because being that I own my own business I have a lot on my plate, and in order for things to progress I need to have solid goals and stick to them along with see them through which I have not been doing. It’s up to me whether my business falls or flourishes so I know I need to get focused ASAP!!!
    Read my latest blog post…Monday Motivation!!

  53. I found today’s assignment really hard to do because I couldn’t think of hardly any likes. I’m currently homeless and unemployed due to my husband being discharged from the military. I find it very depressing to be 26 with two kids and starting from scratch.
    Read my latest blog post…T is For Texas

  55. well… I will list a few things, but you’re welcome to check out my blog beemeezy.tumblr.com or follow me on twitter: @BrittanAKA

    Lifestyle:
    Likes: I’m close to family. I missed out on seeing some of my nieces and nephews growing up when I left for college so to be close means a lot. My home is quiet and safe; it’s my own. I have complete autonomy as I’m the only one with their name on the lease.
    Dislikes: I miss being close to my college friends. I struggle with the decision to relocate. Would I be arriving to continue the party atmosphere or to relive my college days, or am I willing to accept my life as an adult.

    Health:
    Likes: I have taken a greater interest in improving my physical health. I’m not losing a lot of pounds, but I am more conscious with what I put into my temple. I am able to encourage others and do it with sincerity.
    Dislikes: I sometimes take on the weight and troubles of others and it can put me in a state of distress. I’ve found at times I feel I have no one to go to when I’m troubled because I’m the ‘strong’ one for everyone. I want to be closer to God. I grew up in the church and my father is a preacher. I feel I should be more grounded in the Word than I am. I have a considerable amount of weight that I need to lose; I want to welcome old age without a number of ailments.
    Read my latest blog post…Honest Life Assessment

  56. I’ve just finished this exercise and I’m not going to post it but only because it turned out to be FIVE PAGES!! Wow.

    One thing I will say though, it was easy to come up wit a lot of DISLIKES in the majority of areas [except health] which was a little upsetting for me. I mean I realized I wasn’t happy with the way things are going but I’d never though so in-depth on it broken into specific categories and once I did it just all started flowing out of me, I came up with things I didn’t even realize were bothering me.

    But on the plus side I did have positives in every area as well, even though I sort of faked the funk on the work end, that was definitely some ‘grade A’ PR spinning and creative phrasing.

    • I agree with you. I didn’t post my because it turned out to be really personal for me. Even though I had likes in every area, my dislike or discontent was way more than my like and content. I want to begin to appreciate where I am and what I have instead of having a lack of appreciation.

    • Five pages is a lot..but think of all the mental space you have cleared out :) Keep pushing.. if you are frustrated in life (in general) i think there are going to be more dislikes than likes.. i did as well …in the Past I used to beat myself up about it, today I give it the Kanye shrug and see which of the “dislikes” are actually mine or if they were given to me by someone else..if they were given to me, i return them or i just discard them so i can work on changing the dislikes that are rightfully mine into likes
      Read my latest blog post…Life’s Assessment ~ Day 2 of 31 Day Reset

      • Looking back it was actually four, and I didn’t write it all out in paragraphs so that and the spacing extended it as well, but I’d give it a good solid 2 1/2 without it which is still a lot for me, esp because of the amount of dislikes being so disproportionate.

        but you’re right and the frustration i’m feeling in general right now did make it a lot easier to crank out the dislike faster, but that is exactly why I’m doing this and it came at the perfect time, I woke up the day before saying I wanted to start putting some action behind my words and the next day, something made me come find this site again and that’s all the sign I need.

  57. This is the day that always causes me to lose focus!! Need inspiration/motivation; I get frustrated when I start to write out my answers. Do I list them, should I go into detail, should I only list 2 or 3 or go in deep? I know that I’m over thinking this exercise, but I want to do this so badly and I refuse to quit! PLEASE HELP ME WITH YOUR IDEAS!!

    • I completely understand, it took me 30mins to even start, i was debating on what to put it in, how to format it, what font to use, do i use colors, but I realize [from some prior self-assessment] that a lot of time’s it’s just a way of avoidance,and the procrastination makes the task seem a lot more daunting than it needs to be, so I just took a deep breath and got to typing.

      So that’s what I’m going to advise you to do, just start typing,

      “Lifestyle
      Like: What I like about my life now…
      Dislike: I don’t like…”

      etc…

      and worry about formatting AFTER. You may very well realize like I did, it doesn’t matter how it’s done, there’s no right or wrong in telling your story. Just tell all of it, and take as long as it takes.

  63. Hello Ladies! Day 2 and here’s my life assessment…

    Lifestyle:
    What do I like? I have a place to call home.

    What do I dislike? I do not like the cost of living in my city, the rent is ridiculous and I have no amenities to speak of. I mean really, can I get a dishwasher???? I greatly despise the city I live in and want to relocate to a place with a lower cost of living. I feel very trapped right now.

    Work:
    What do I like? I like the fact that I am employed and have health benefits.

    What do I dislike? The job, the work itself, and my coworkers. I took this job out of desperation and necessity. I was unemployed for nearly 2 years before I found my current job. Three months into the job, I knew something wasn’t right. I was becoming increasingly irritated and growing more unhappy every day. I was honest with myself and admitted that I did not like the job. Every morning when I get off the train, my mood just plummets as I get closer to the office. When I arrive to work, it is very hard for me to hide my feelings. I’m the type of person that when I’m happy you know it, if I’m mad, you can tell, etc… I know my boss and coworkers can see how miserable I am.

    Education:
    What do I like? I love the fact that I am smart and well read. I think that I am a very good writer and communicator. I like that I have an English degree.

    What do I dislike? My degree in English now seems worthless unless I want to substitute teach or write jingles (my friend suggested that).

    Finances:
    What do I like? I like the fact that I have an income.

    What do I dislike? The debt that I amassed while I was unemployed is completely overwhelming me. My rent is entirely too high and I can’t seem to build my savings. I need to find ways to cut costs.

    Health:
    What do I like? I am quite healthy. I have improved my eating habits since Lent when I gave up red meat, pork, and chicken. I have those meats in moderation now. I do enjoy my snacks still but I have more fruits and vegetables on a daily basis. I also drink two to three liters of water a day. I am blessed and so thankful to have a very high metabolism. If I did gain weight I would be in serious trouble.

    What do I dislike? I am not active enough. I need to start a workout regimen. I used to take a yoga class every Saturday but the studio closed down and I haven’t bothered to find another class.

    Family:
    What do I like? I am close to my mom, brother, and uncle which are all the family I have on my mom’s side. I spend more time with my mom than my brother and uncle just because they’re guys and they are way into sports. We all get along really well and there is no family drama.

    What do I dislike? I would like to be closer to my father and his side of the family but I have accepted that will never happen. I only hear from my half-sister when she needs something and the rest of that side of the family is so spread out and they really do not keep in contact with anyone.

    Relationships:
    What do I like? I have a great group of diverse friends who are supportive, honest, and there for me the way good friends should be. I think that I am a good friend in return. Two of my closest friends are like my sisters. As for romantic relationships, I’m single and I can come and go as I please.

    What do I dislike? I’m single and I have reached that age where magazines tell ladies my age to give up thoughts of marriage and kids. I always thought I would be married by now but it hasn’t happened. I try not to pay much attention to the statistics but they can be hard to ignore. I really don’t meet the kind of men that I would like to date and eventually marry. I recently reconnected with an ex boyfriend, but that was a waste of time; you can’t teach a boy how to be a man. I don’t want to settle for him just to say I have someone.
    Read my latest blog post…The Dyson Technology Experience: Keep Cool In Style!

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