This year, I am being more intentional about reflecting on my life and work. How else will I know if I’m making progress on the goals, dreams and opportunities I have for myself? I loved doing my annual review of 2011 (here are the questions I used for that), so now I’ve committed to doing a review of each month of the year as well.
Here, I present a brief review of the fourth month of 2012, starting with a word that captures the essence how I spent the month of April: HONESTY.
This is some of what I did last month, personally and professionally.
- I decided to stay in Charlottesville, VA for another month. So I’ll be here through mid-May, for sure. After that, I’ll be going to visit my Grama in Ohio for a bit. Then…?
- I did two paid speaking engagements: one virtual (webinar) and one at JMU in Virginia. As a result of my presentation at JMU, I got invited to present at another local college while I am here in the area. So that makes two paid gigs for May so far!
- I began teaching the third live run of the Blogging School, bringing the total number of students who’ve take the course to over 60! I’m not sure when the next live run will happen, as I am in the process of putting together some more advanced material to take folks through the entrepreneurship side of blogging more deeply. Sign up here to be the first to know about new Blogging School courses.
- I attended my first wine festival in Charlottesville (also known as Virginia’s wine country). I had a great time (a great tipsy time LOL) tasting local wines from 12 area wineries, as well as meeting the other four black women who were there (not even kidding – there were like four of us). So funny how we have a way of finding each other, especially when we are in the minority. My favorite wine, hands down, was the Horton Vineyards white chocolate dessert wine. Oh man, that was some good stuff! (The photo in this post is from my day at the wine festival.)
- I went to a meetup for work-from-home professionals where I met some cool business owners that I’ve been able to learn from and build with while I’m here. I feel less lonely now that I’ve found a few local people to add to my ”tribe” of fellow entrepreneurs. Shout out to Meetup.com!
- I spent quality time with my mom and aunt for their weekend birthday celebration. It’s been so interesting seeing their relationship evolve as they get older, especially as my respective relationships with them change and grow.
- I cooked quinoa and this time I actually enjoyed it LOL. I paid more attention to my protein and veggie intake. I drank more water. I relaxed at the park. I found the best Thai restaurant in Charlottesville. I worked from one of my favorite “offices” – the public library. I went to see “The Lucky One” and felt like a cougar for lusting after the very young (and very hot!) Zac Efron.
I chose the word HONESTY because in April, I felt like I was able to be honest with myself and others about my needs. I was reminded of how powerful it is to be 100% who you are, especially in personal relationships. The powerful part is that by being honest about who you are and what you need, you give others permission to do the same.
In my relationship with my sister, I was honest with myself about the fact that I cannot ”fix” what’s causing the chasm between us. As much as I want to be able to change her frame of mind right now, I have to remember that I am not responsible for her stuff. She is the only one who can choose to heal whatever is preventing her from participating fully in our relationship. Being honest about that gave me an immense feeling of relief. I no longer feel the burden of “making it work” between us on my shoulders.
In my relationship with the writer, I was honest about my feelings and needs. Unfortunately, his past relationship experiences left him skeptical about what’s possible with women. I very nearly fell into the emotional trap of wanting to “prove” to him that nice guys don’t always finish last. But that is not my role as a romantic partner, nor do I want it to be. Trying to help someone else move on and grow from past relationship disappointments is not a position I want to be in. I was honest with myself about needing a relationship filled with mutual support, not one-sided semi-therapy sessions. This gave me the clarity to end what would probably have become an emotionally unhealthy situation.
What I want to experience in May 2012 is the courage to proceed as the way opens for decisions I will soon have to make in my work and life. I want this to look like saying yes to new, messy opportunities and releasing attachment to the outcome of any particular path. I want to feel OK with being a “free spirit” (as two people have referred to me recently).
What ONE word would you use to describe your experience of April 2012? What do you want to experience in May 2012?
If you choose to answer this question as part of a review on your own blog, please go ahead and post the link in the comments so we can read it! I would love to hear how your year is progressing so far. For some additional inspiration, check out Glamazini’s review of April 2012: Momentum.
If you want to join the May 2012 edition of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge, you may still do so here. As soon as you sign up, you will receive the first assignment in the program! Or, you can just buy the workbook, which gives you all the exercises in one place, with worksheets so you can work at your own pace.
In case you missed them, here are all 15 posts I wrote on the blog last month. Thank you, as always, for reading and sharing.
- 4 Ways to Make Room for More Happiness in Your Life
- Join the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge: May 2012 Edition
- How Much Money Should You Charge for Speaking?
- Eight Months, Four Rooms, One Nomadic Adventure (Photos)
- Have You Started Yet?
- Four Steps to Becoming a Professional Speaker
- 7 Strategies to Help You Stop Buying Things You Don’t Need
- Marketing Yourself Takes Courage: What I Didn’t Know in 2007
- The Happy Black Woman Playlist: 10 Songs to Inspire You to Be Your Best Self
- Whole: A Review of March 2012
- What I Learned from Being on Public TV: Don’t Forget Your Pantyhose
- My Dream Job is What I’m Doing Now
- There’s Nothing Sexy About Working for Yourself
- A Realistic Reason to Try Online Dating
- 3 Ways to Stay Open to Possibility in Your Love Life
happyblackwoman
happyblackwoman
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April: Connections.
- Socialization/Socializing: still above & beyond. I’ve dropped a few Meetup groups (and a few shut down on their own) and am staying with the ones that are beneficial for me. There are a few people I’ve met in Meetup groups who are also in other groups with me, so it’s interesting to run into them at events. I’ve even exchanged numbers with a few of them so that we can get together in the (near?) future.
- I visited another country in the beginning of April with one of my Meetup groups. I connected with 2 other members while there; they seem to be kindred spirits. One of them is good at keeping in touch, and we may get together in a couple of weeks. Of everyone in the group who went (10 of us), she & I connected the most, it seems.
- Still sticking with Krav Maga 1x/week. Still going to the gym but may drop my monthly membership & switch to pay-per-class instead to save money; using their gym once per week will cut costs. Also joined a Meetup group a few days ago that provides free exercise classes, once per week minimum, in my area. Continuing on the Connections theme – we have VERY few women in the class, and I somehow managed to connect with the only other woman who attends weekly along with me. She & her partner offered me a ride home weeks ago and they’ve dropped me home, without me asking, every week since. It’s also nice to develop a potential friendship with her since we’re the only 2 women who consistently attend.
- Online language course – I let it slip to the wayside. I’m re-prioritizing that now, along with reading (looking into buying a Kindle since I read more online than hard-copy). I am, however, still in a Meetup group for the language that I’m studying. The group organizer is nice (attended one of his events) and said that I can still attend the weekly practice sessions because it’s for people at all levels of the language. I’ll take him up on his offer.
- Back to blogging at least once per week – writing & photo included. When I run out of ideas, I re-blog blog posts from other people that relate to my overall blog theme, which helps me stick to my once per week goal.
Bonus 1: I’ve booked trips to 2 more countries. More about that when you post your May review.
Bonus 2: no date(s) yet, but there’s lots of eye candy all over this town, including Krav Maga class.
I’ve never been one to NEED someone around, so I’m just enjoying life and if the universe intends it, a decent date or man will be a bonus.
P.S. Meetup is a GREAT website; good to see that you like it too.
Read my latest blog post…Bom dia: Lisbon, Portugal – day 2.
Rosetta,
I always love your transparency when you write! One of many things that resonated with me in your review of April is releasing attachments. This has been an area I struggled with the majority of my life, but am glad to say, I am steadily improving in!
This month, in particular, I released an attachment to a person who I truly enjoyed being around, but the relationship was non-productive and unhealthy. I sulked for about two days and even felt the physical effects of letting go – but, releasing something that was moving me AWAY from my goals gave me the time, opportunity, and energy to complete a long-overdue project (my website!).
Every occurrence has a purpose in your life – even when it is uncomfortable. If you “sit” with those feelings and allow them to naturally evovle (rather than ignore, cover up, busy yourself) – the outcome will be in your favor!
Wow…I thought it was just me. I share the same struggle as well. I was so afraid of letting go of several unhealthy relationships. The thought of not talking to those people just terrified me. Once I realized I am responsible for me and my happiness and growth. I grew alot faster…no longer trying to nuture relationships that were gone sour. I accomplished so much since then…developed a deeper relationship with God,worked on my nonprofit org, enrolled in graduate school. It feels great to have my priorities in order.
Monique,
Well, thanks for letting me know we were two of the same kind – EMPHASIS on the word “WERE!” I’m glad you were able to find a way to let go and increase your happiness and growth, too. What brought you to that point or what was the trigger for you to take action?
For me, it was doing a serious evaluation of a friendship after I needed the person and they CHOSE not to come through at a critical time for me. Then, I did a DEEP evaluation of myself of WHY I CHOSE to hold on to that person when LOGIC and some friggin’ COMMON SENSE clearly told me that my best interest was not in their mind at all. I found out I need to value my self worth a LOT more. We deserve the BEST of the best – NEVER scraps of anything! Good luck to you, Sister!
Read my latest blog post…NEVER MISS ANOTHER WORD. SERIOUSLY.
Tameka,
Tameka,
There were several things that
brought me to this point. One
of the situations were similar
to yours. I was going through
a difficult and confusing time
in my life. I called on my best
friend explained to her in
detail how I was feeling. She
responded in a way that flat
out said she didn’t have time
to hear what I had to say.
There were other instances
that lead up to me finally real
izing that she didn’t value our
friendship as much as I did.
In the other relationships I was giving so much of myself with nothing in return. Nowadays people seem to so busy they don’t have time to call or return calls. I was depositing so much in others emotional bank withdrawing everything from my own. I realized I was being used…some people only want to be friends with you because of what you can do for them not to build a genuine relationship.
Just as you have said Tameka we deserve the best not anyone’s left overs.
Thanks!
Well, I’ll say – actions speak louder than words every time! Thanks for sharing your experience. Take one of my favorite quotes with you and I hope it motivates you as it always does for me: “Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own. – Bruce Lee
Blessings!
Ohio- I am in the cleveland area- it would be awesome if you had a meetup while visiting (hint, hint)
i just wrote a review of my own yesterday
find it on my blog here:
https://conscious2conscience.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/the-pursuit-of-happiness/
“I very nearly fell into the emotional trap of wanting to “prove” to him that nice guys don’t always finish last.”
I’ve dealt with something similar recently. Trying to prove to someone that they could receive love. Thankfully, I moved on as well.
As far as my review of April, I would use “Release” as a descriptor. I spent a lot of time cleaning, getting rid of things I didn’t need as I prepared for the move I made at the end of the month.
Read my latest blog post…On My Radar: Deluge
I love quinoa. How did you make it? I used chicken stock and hubby loves it. I haven’t had much during this pregnancy but we used to eat it in bulk.
Anyhoo, thanks much for linking to me again. I absolutely loving doing these, it really helps me see what I’ve done. All the best for the month of May
Read my latest blog post…Cinco de Ini • 36 Reasons I’m Thankful
I loved reading your review! I made my quinoa plain with just water in a pot on the stove. So I ate it like rice, I guess, just as a side starch. Next time I might try cooking it in veggie broth, though.
Fantastic summary Rosetta! I’ve been inspired by your reviews and started doing them in my journal but this month I actually posted mine to my blog here: http://chivonjohn.com/possibility-a-review-of-april-2012/
Thanks for continuing to inspire us and push us to continually develop ourselves.
Read my latest blog post…Possibility: A Review of April 2012