I love black men. Always have, always will. I love the way they walk, the way they talk, and yes oh yes the way they smell. So, lucky for me I’ve had more than a few good black men in my life that have loved me back. I can count on one hand the douchebags that I’ve actually ending up meeting or having a relationship with. I guess that’s why it really baffles my brain to hear all the hype that’s being made about the fact that 42% of black women have never been married. That there are 1.8 million more black women than black men. I’m not even going to link to the articles anymore because I know you have heard ABC and NBC and Hill Harper and Steve Harvey and Helena Andrews and the lady from down the street talk about how lonely black women are. I’m not going to link to them anymore because I think they’re all stupid.
The media has always portrayed black women as bitches who are angry and unlovable. But now it’s sad to see other black people playing right into the stereotype just to sell books and get ratings. And it’s sad to see so many sisters internalizing that. It’s sad to hear so many sisters giving credence to the idea that they might die alone.
Me? I don’t care about the numbers. I really don’t. Those 42% of black women have nothing to do with me. Nothing. If I want to get married one day, I will. If I don’t, it will be because I didn’t want to, not because there aren’t enough black men to go around. What is this, the 1940s? Are we rationing out sugar? I choose love and love chooses me back. It’s as simple as that to me.
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I agree, sometimes I think those statistics are put out there to continue to make us feel bad about ourselves. Just like the dubious statistic from back in the day that “there are more black men in jail than in college.” Upon closer inspection, they forgot to mention that in jail there is usually more than one age group represented whereas in college, most attenders are in their 20s. So OF COURSE there would be more in jail than in college.
Like the other commenter, “glamazini” stated, everyone I know is married. A lot of my friends from college are married. The media just likes to use every opportunity it can to make Black people feel bad about themselves and to give other races ammunition to keep looking down on us. My eyes are open and I’ve wisened up to the game. I don’t believe most of the BS statistics I hear on the news.
Huh? Everyone I know is married … but I live in Missouri so maybe that’s just here LOL! Girl please, ignore those stats. Boo.
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I am so glad that I ran across this blog early on a Saturday morning. Your reaction to all of the “Doomsday for Black Women” news is my same reaction – just enjoy your life and do what YOU want to do. Whatever you want, you can have. Don’t listen to, or feed into, the negativity.
Just be your amazing, wonderful, beautiful self and seek out those things, whatever or whomever they might be, that make you happy and you will have them.
I am so glad that I ran across this blog early on a Saturday morning. Your reaction to all of the “Doomsday for Black Women” news is my same reaction – just enjoy your life and do what YOU want to do. Whatever you want, you can have. Don’t listen to, or feed into, the negativity.
Just be your amazing, wonderful, beautiful self and seek out those things, whatever or whomever they might be, that make you happy and you will have them.
I so agree. I can’t stand when I hear people, especially women say that there are no good men out there. I am a good woman and I out here so why wouldn’t there be plenty of other good people both men and women out there. I think you find what you look for and I choose to look for good men open to all the love and happiness they can stand.
I love this: “I choose to look for good men open to all the love and happiness they can stand.” Ditto!
I so agree. I can’t stand when I hear people, especially women say that there are no good men out there. I am a good woman and I out here so why wouldn’t there be plenty of other good people both men and women out there. I think you find what you look for and I choose to look for good men open to all the love and happiness they can stand.
I love this: “I choose to look for good men open to all the love and happiness they can stand.” Ditto!
Well said!
Well said!
Max, I totally agree! Though the last part of your comment makes me wonder if black women truly desire to be happy? Or are we just not hearing about the happy endings as often as the negativity?
Max, I totally agree! Though the last part of your comment makes me wonder if black women truly desire to be happy? Or are we just not hearing about the happy endings as often as the negativity?
Thank you for writing this. While I do think there is some truth to the phenomenon, I also think that the various media simply add fuel to the fire by simply going on and on about it. It seems as though they are telling black women that they must and should be unhappy. But happiness is relative. If you desire to be happy, if you actively seek to be happy, then happiness is what you shall achieve.
Thank you for writing this. While I do think there is some truth to the phenomenon, I also think that the various media simply add fuel to the fire by simply going on and on about it. It seems as though they are telling black women that they must and should be unhappy. But happiness is relative. If you desire to be happy, if you actively seek to be happy, then happiness is what you shall achieve.
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