#31DayReset Day 4: Identify Your Values

This post is Day 4 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.

Yesterday, you wrote a magical love letter to yourself in anticipation of all the good things to come. You may have enjoyed writing it and hopefully you’re feeling pretty optimistic about the future. Another thing you probably realized though, albeit subconsciously, is that you are not exactly living up to the values you have for your life (hence all the “dislikes”). Today’s two-part exercise will force you to address that disconnect by doing the first task in developing a personal mission statement over the next three days: identifying your values.

Estimated Time to Complete: 30-60 minutes

What matters most to you in life? The answer to this question is called your values. Often we find that we’ve forgotten about that which we care about because we allowed ourselves to get stuck doing something else, on someone else’s agenda.

Step 1:

Take at least 15 minutes to jot down a free-for-all list of all the things that means a lot to you in your life, all the things you care about. Feel free to take more time if you need it.

Just a few examples of values include:

  • Achievement, fame, advancement, leadership
  • Money, power, authority, economic security
  • Having a family, children, love, community, friendships
  • Nature, religion, public service, ecological awareness, healthy living, physical challenge
  • Democracy, civic involvement, wisdom, integrity, truth
  • Location, privacy, country, adventure, fast-paced living

Remember, these are just examples. There are many more you can – and should – think of on your own. Most people come up with at least a dozen values once they get going.

Step 2:

Once you identify all of your values – all the things you care about, choose your “Reset 10″ – a list of your TOP 10 values from your list. They don’t have to be in any particular order, though you may certainly rank them if you’d like.

Tomorrow, we will move on to the next step in the process of developing a personal mission statement: envisioning your values in action.

Take Action and Reflect: When you’re done, please share your “Reset 10″ values with us in the comments! How did you feel as you completed this exercise? If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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81 comments

  1. Pingback: Review 2011: What Was the Most Valuable Lesson You Learned This Year? | Happy Black Woman | Helping Women Design Their Ideal Lives

  2. Love
    Balance
    Happiness
    Family
    Friendship
    Career
    Spirituality
    Sustainability
    Financial Stability
    Having a Family

  3. My Reset 10:

    - My spiritual relationship with God
    - My family
    - My spouse
    - My relationships with other people
    - Finances
    - Traveling (Exploration)
    - Fulfilled Life
    - Education
    - Self-Employment
    - Boundless Mind, Body and Soul

    Doing this exercise simplified and centered me to know what I need to place more focus on, as well as, what needs less focus and time.

  5. 1. religion (relationship with God)

    2. advancement

    3. honesty

    4. compassion

    5. loyalty

    6. admiration

    7. stable

    8. self-worth

    9. physical fitness

    10. healthy living

  6. It was so hard narrowing this list down! Anyway, my “Reset 10″ list:

    honesty/truth
    creativity
    high energy
    inspiration
    compassion/helping others
    knowledge/intellectual growth
    freedom
    spiritual health and growth
    love/connections/relationships (all kinds–spiritual, friendships, romantic)
    economic security

  9. My Reset 10 List:

    My relationship with God
    Spiritual growth
    My family and true friends
    Financial stability
    Living healthy
    Love and honesty
    Eduction
    Traveling
    My business
    My community

  10. Here are my “Reset 10″ list :

    - Spiritual growth
    - True Love
    - Having a happy and healthy family
    - Great and sincere relationships
    - Respect ( towards me and for others)
    - Trust
    - Financial Security
    - Health
    - HappYness
    - Personal Development – Empowerement of my inner self

    • I like you that were specific about the kind of love that is important to you. Love isn’t always true. I hope you have found it or it is waiting for you in your future.

      Sharonda

  11. Reset 10 (In no particular order)

    - Love
    - Having a family – being a mother
    - Health- diet and exercise
    - Security- emotional and financial
    - Quality of personal relationships
    - Knowledge and education
    - Quality of life, work/life balance
    - Happiness
    - Living a life fulfilled
    - Independent thought and open-mindedness
    Read my latest blog post…Permission Slip

  12. My Reset 10 list (Top Values) in no particular order:

    God
    Unconditional love
    My children
    Marriage
    Safe/security/stability
    Having a traditional family
    Leaving a legacy for my children
    Helping people
    Cultivating long lasting friendships
    Wisdom

    • I love that you pointed out leaving a legacy for your children….That is so important to have as a Top Value!!! Stay encouraged on your journey. Good Luck!

  13. This exercise was difficult for me also but here it is:

    My Reset 10:

    Freedom
    Good health
    Education
    Spiritual life
    Positivity
    Sharing knowledge/wisdom
    Living in harmony
    Personal development
    Peace
    Respect

    • I thought this would be simple. In the beginning everything semed to flow really well and then I had to select my top ten values. This is when it got challenging…but I did it :D

      love
      justice
      stability/security
      freedom
      purposeful work
      family
      good friends
      health/wellness
      spirituality
      strength

  14. Top 10
    1. Play: Engagement and Vibrancy with life, other people, my day to day life, in work, when creating.
    2. Economic Security
    3. Health
    4. Learning – kind of goes with play for me- its about engagement and interaction with life.
    5. Authenticity – I need to be able to be myself and have my authentic reactions.
    6. Relationships- having people I can count on who I like and like me. Feeling safe with people. Feeling liked for myself.
    7. Living with integrity- making choices that are not just good for me but that also help/don’t hurt other people. So that if everyone lived like I do, it would be a good world for everyone.
    8. Adding value and feeling valued- I need to do something in my community that adds valued and be valued and acknowledged for it. I need to contribute my true gifts.
    9. Nature and Beauty. I value spending time in nature and other beautiful places. I value beauty in myself and others. I value appreciating beauty. This goes along with sensuality for me. I value experiencing life through my senses. Appreciating good smells, touching different textures, tasting good food.
    10. I value choosing. I like going with the flow letting the currents drift me this way and that – letting myself get lost and discovering something new, and that is part of play, but I also value CHOOSING and having some sense of control over my life. That’s why I’m doing this program.
    Read my latest blog post…There’s hope.

  15. Writing these down I realize how many I have compromised (multiple times). It is sad to me that I have compromised these things and sometimes thrown them out the window all together when it suited me, when what I WANT to do overrides what I NEED to do. This is not the person I want to be.

    My top 10 (in no particular order)

    * Honesty

    * Dignity

    * Integrity

    * Love

    * Personal Growth and Development

    * Feeling of Value

    * Relationship Building

    * Self Expression

    * Keeping my heart and mind open

  16. My reset 10 – in no particular order

    • Financial security
    • Good health
    • Travel
    • Children
    • Independence
    • Happiness
    • Honesty
    • Success(job-wise)
    • Lifestyle

    This was a challenging one! After about 7, i just couldn’t decide what meant more to me than other stuff…

  17. My Reset 10:Listed in no particular order other than Jesus being first!

    Jesus
    Teaching
    Genuineness
    Purpose
    Faith
    Love
    Serving
    Learning
    Community
    Friendship
    Read my latest blog post…I’M BACK!

  18. Some of the values I’ve identified:
    1. recognition
    2. sense of accomplishment/achievement
    3. independence
    4. financial stability/security
    5. family
    6. love
    7. peace
    8. happiness
    9. social equality
    10. quiet time/personal reflection
    11. safety
    12. honesty
    13. employment (self or otherwise)
    14. health
    15. wisdom
    16. reliability

    My Top 10 Values:
    1. family
    2. love
    3. peace
    4. financial stability
    5. honesty
    6. health
    7. happiness
    8. wisdom
    9. sense of accomplishment/achievement
    10. quiet time

  19. The expanded the day 3-5 activities over a couple of days as I really pondered what I was feeling.

    Here are my top ten:
    Family
    God (Feeling His love and passing it to others)
    Inner peace (mental/emotional balance)
    Feeling comfortable/putting my best self forward
    Simplicity
    Financial security (building a strong financial foundation)
    Creating a comfortable environment for self and others
    Self-love
    Accountability and truth
    Natural beauty
    Read my latest blog post…31 Days To Reset Your Life Challenge- Day One

  20. I found this really hard to do. Even to just compile a list and then choosing the top 10. Really took some thought but here goes…

    love (of and from myself, family, friends, mankind)
    freedom (of expression, choice etc, not holding urself back)
    strength/discipline
    myself (taking care of me mentally, physically, spiritually)
    responsibility
    feeling safe (emotionally, financially, etc)
    individuality (daring to be different)
    honesty/truth
    progress (degree, job, car, husband, kids etc)
    joy/laughter/smiles

  21. Another great exercise! Here are my Reset 10!

    Spirituality

    Peace (in environment/home/society)

    Love (relationships/marriage)

    Family (creating anew, adding on & spending time)

    Independence (time & financial)

    Leaving a Legacy (for my children’s children)

    Nature (seeing & exploring)

    Health (physical, mental & spiritual)

    Fulfilling purpose

    Beauty (personal care)
    Read my latest blog post…A Letter to Summer…

    • I like how you broke your list down into subsections because it made it more obvious what you value especially for Beauty and Indpendance

  22. As I was writing out a lis of values to choose from I would walk away from it and then come back to it as ideas came to me over the course of a day. Here is my list in no particular order

    Service
    Integrity
    Respect
    Honesty
    Fiscal responsibility
    Creativity
    Nuturing/caring
    Lifelong learning
    Healthy living
    Teaching

  23. My Reset 10:
    Freedom
    Peace
    Love
    Healthy Living
    Friendship
    Family
    Integrity
    Service to Humanity
    Adventure
    Resourcefulness

  25. After I read everyone elses Reset 10, I realized I forgot a lot of things on my list, some that I am ashamed that I forgot. :(

    Anywho… my Reset 10

    - love
    - family
    - friendship
    - travel
    - beauty
    - weight (health)
    - wealth (economic security)
    - pleasure (making myself happy… doing what I want instead of what other people want me to do)
    - adventure
    - culture (awareness)

    This was a lot harder for me than I thought it would be.

  26. Here are my top 10 values (not listed in a particular order):
    Happiness
    Family
    Healthy living
    Financial stability
    Love
    Adventure
    Growth
    Friendships
    Spirituality – relationship with God
    A sense of purpose

  27. my relationship with God

    my family

    school

    leadership

    activism

    friends

    happiness

    determination

    abstinence

    loving myself

    career

  28. Here are my Reset 10, in no particular order =). Love filled family relationships, spiritually connected to the Father, wisdom, peace, economic security, healthy living, life improvement, excellence, friendships, and knowledge.

  31. My “Reset 10″
    -Spiritual Life
    -Health (mental and physical)
    -Family
    -Safety
    -Positive relationships with friends and colleagues
    -Economic Security
    -Accomplishment
    -Taking risks and challenges
    -Fulfilling Career
    -Power

  32. I really love doing meditation! I never believed in it before I tried it… I wish all humans would try it. First I just felt a bit more aware of my thoughts and was amazed that this feeling stayed with me the whole day. Now I can’t imagine living without it

  35. My “Reset 10″
    ~God
    ~Faith
    ~Close relationships to people I truly care about
    ~Standing up for my beliefs
    ~Purpose
    ~Good with my finances
    ~Completed my masters degree
    ~Homeowner (because it took 3 yrs and lots of sacrifice and for that I am proud; I did it on my own)
    ~Travel
    ~Health

  36. I had been feeling guilty about my lifestyle. I’m very leisurely. But this exercise helped me realize that that is whats really important to me: Enjoying Life!
    Perhaps thats what I’m here for! To Enjoy it and Help others enjoy life. My list , really reflected how much I love a good time and try to help others find there happiness. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with that….let’s explore shall we?
    Read my latest blog post…$39 for a Deluxe Teeth Whitening Kit from MyLifeMySmile.com ($158 Value)

  37. Pingback: #31DayReset Day 6: Write a Personal Mission Statement | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life + Business

  38. So, I did the assignment in my book, but never shared it. This one was VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME in that I couldn’t really choose 10. What I did was build subvalues into each one that tie into the core value. These are not in any order.

    1. PEACE (balance, harmony, order, laughter, joy)
    2. HEALTH (fitness, mental health, emotional health
    3. PERSONAL GROWTH & DEVELOPMENT (education, self-help, learning, intellect)
    4. SECURITY (finances, wealth, abundance, shelter, food, clothing)
    5. ROMANTIC LOVE (intimacy, passion, commitment)
    6. SELF EXPRESSION & COMMUNICATION (openness, communication, creativity)
    7. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (family, friends, self)
    8. SPIRITUALITY (faith, hope, prayer…)
    9. SUCCESS (business, life, ambition, teamwork, fairness,)
    10. CHARACTER (truth, trust, honesty, integrity, loyalty, repect)

  39. Pingback: Day 9: Create a Life Map | queen1978

  40. Pingback: Day Nine: Create a Life Map | queen1978

  41. My top 10:

    Independence
    My son
    Being a good friend
    Joy/Happiness in my life
    Learning
    Travel
    Having a home full of love and friends
    Having a supportive family (whoever & whatever this may be)
    Recognition for being good at my work
    Looking Good/Feeling good/being healthy

    These are the aspects of my life that I will be working on for this Reset. I have others that are very important too.

  42. Hey ladies,

    Here are my values -

    Step 1:
    faith, trust, hope, integrity, family, happiness, friendship, support, inspiration, motivation, professional development, encouragement, recognition, purpose, work/life balance, professionalism, accomplishment, financial security, independence, spontaneity, organization, productivity, compassion, resilience, charity, healthful living, comfort, safety, grace, sympathy, loyal, impactful, mindfulness, respect, trustworthiness, stability, dependence, virtue, wonder, sincerity, harmony, enthusiasm, discovery, dedication, conviction, tolerance, support, dependable, adventure, dignity, bliss…

    Step 2:
    1. integrity
    2. faith
    3. balance
    4. mindfulness
    5. productivity
    6. grace
    7. professionalism
    8. healthful living
    9. relationships (family and friends)
    10. dependability

    I made a “visualization” of my values on worlde.net – look how cool it came out!
    http://www.meg-hoffman.com/2011/08/04/off-topic-31-day-reset-day-4/

  43. I know I am late, but taking a look at my values in July and what i wrote now here it goes in no particular order

    1. the lovely p’s: peace, passion, positivity, purpose

    2. Love

    3. Mental, spiritual, phyisical health

    4. Connection with God as He is my inner guide… With Him, wisdom to see things clearly

    5. Freedom, independence and freeing my mind from all the clutter that’s going on up there

    6. Travel.

    7. Educatio n, not just school but learninf from others… Even reading other posts thru the reset i am learning more about myself

    8. REAL QUALITY relationships, friendships and my future boo!

    9. Changing the world

    10. Living MY life because it is BEYOND golden

  44. Finally getting to my Reset 10

    Purpose
    Spirituality
    Conscious living
    Touching people
    Perseverance
    Peace of mind
    Strong friendships
    Love
    Bridging Cultures

  46. I am a few days behind… (getting caught up today :-) but here are my reset 10!

    1. my faith in Christ being renewed daily and the primary influence in how I make decisions.
    2. creating a family of my own (getting married and having children).
    3. being wise. not just smart, but always knowing how to apply the knowledge that I learn.
    4. being financially secure. for me this means debt free and wealthy.
    5. being needed. i usually see this as my insecurity, but I get an immense amount of joy from knowing some one needs me.
    6. working for myself. i am headed in that direction. my non-profit that I co-founded is getting its legs and we already involved in programming and service. check us out at http://www.helpingempoweryouth.org
    7. losing weight and being physically fit. this is important to me that I am able to live a long and healthy life.
    8. serving, volunteering, and changing lives. I love the work that i do!!!
    9. having authority. i desire to walk into places and situations and have enough influence to turn things around for good.
    10. having a lifestyle that is fun, spontaneous and filled with good friends and great experiences!
    Read my latest blog post…31 day challenge: Day 3 (i missed yesterday, shhhh…)

  47. family
    God
    being a good person
    career that feeds my spirit
    health
    honesty
    relationships
    integrity
    love
    helping others

  48. My Re-Set 10

    Relationship with God

    Family

    Me Time

    Laughter

    Morals

    Peace

    Encouraging Others

    Morals

    Friendships

    Common Sense

  49. My Re-Set 10

    Relationship with God

    Family

    Me Time

    Laughter

    Morals

    Peace

    Encouraging Others

    Morals

    Friendships

    Common Sense

  51. I have to always remember that each one has it’s own values and its own story, my lists always feels like it need to be changed… I am a real work in progress, anyways here are my reset 10:
    Gog
    Family
    Healh
    Love
    Freedom
    Money
    Peac
    Learning
    Success
    security

  52. Pingback: #31DayReset Day 5: Envision Your Values in Action | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life + Business

  53. No particular order:

    Reset Top 10:

    Loyalty
    Openness
    Spirituality
    Relationship/Love
    Friendships
    Time spent with family
    Service/Giving back
    Knowledge
    Leadership
    Fulfillment in my career
    Read my latest blog post…values

  54. Ok here’s my Reset 10 (I’m no particular order)

    *Love
    *Family
    *Independence
    *Financial Stability
    *Relationship with God
    *Education
    *Health
    *Honesty
    *Good Friendships
    *Being kind to others

  55. This exercise served as a reminder of what is important to me. I haven’t thought about these things specifically in a long time, but as I wrote, everything looked familiar. The only kind-of new one is nutrition as I am realizing how not eating properly affects my mind, body and energy levels.

    freedom
    independence
    responsibility
    service/helping people
    foreign cultures/cultural awareness
    faith
    self-awareness
    good nutrition
    maturity
    education

    • I feel inspired and encouraged that you value freedom and independence. Sometimes we’re afraid to let it be known that these are things we value for our own self-love.
      Good for you for highlighting that!

    • Great list! Looks alot like mine! I too listed freedom as #1. Not intentionally but looking back over it there might be a reason for me listing that value first. Cant wait to explore this more in the next step.

    • Hi! I just visited your blog and posted a comment there. The subjects on your blog are pretty tough for some people to share. I appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts openly.
      Great list!

  58. hey ladies… it is great to see that some of us value the same thing…gives me hope that our world not going to hell just yet ; ) check out my blog for my top ten..but it’s safe to say many of the ones you all have posted are also included in mine

  59. One thing I noticed is my list this time wasn’t nearly as long as it was the first time I did the reset back in December, I’m not sure why that is but I found it interesting. But it seemed to encompass all the same things, It was also easier to pick a top 10 this go around.

    Anywhoo, here’s mine:

    • Honesty
    • Commitment
    • Love
    • Authenticity
    • Independence
    • Positivity
    • Learning/experience
    • Relationship with God
    • Health
    • Family

    • oooh i like honesty…i value you that too.. that should have been on my list..and commitment…hmm and i am now thinking about how I love consistency… thanks for sharing your list

    • I liked positivity. I’m so good at giving it to others, but I don’t keep enough positivity for myself.
      Thanks for the reminder and I hope you make good on that value in your own life!!

  61. My Reset 10 (random order)
    God * Faith * Family * Peace * Financial stability * Volunteerism/Social Activism * Passion/Purpose * Friendships * Health/Happiness * Love

    What an awesome exercise! Really puts things in perspective. :-) Thank you Rosetta!

  63. Respect Love Family Education God Health Independence Living Environment Finances Privacy This excercise really helped me to get a sense of who I am. As I was writing my values I felt good because it also reminded me of all the important aspects of my life I sometimes forget.

  66. My Reset 10

    -Passion/Purpose
    -Family
    -Love
    -Christ
    -Relationships
    -Serving
    -Progression
    -Freedom/Financial Freedom
    -Career
    -Peace/Peace of mind

  67. I really enjoyed completing this exercise. My “Reset 10″ is:

    Respect
    Love
    Happiness/Joy
    Honesty
    Financial Security
    Health/Healthy living
    Spirtuality
    Friendships/relationships
    Emotional wellness/peace of mind
    Laughter

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