This post is Day 15 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.
OK, so before we get started, I just want to acknowledge that today’s assignment may seem a little morbid. Especially after the bucket list exercise. But hear me out 
We’re all going to die at some point. Point blank period. The hope is that we will live full, enjoyable lives while we’re here on earth. And one way to do that is to get clear on how you want that life to look to other people. So today, you’re going to write your own eulogy. A eulogy is the speech given about a person at their funeral that tells what kind of life and impact the person had. This exercise should pull together elements of your personal mission statement, ideal life narrative, and maybe even your bucket list.
Day 15: Write Your Own Eulogy
So imagine you die at age 77 (which is about the average age people live to these days). Think about how you want to be remembered. What mark do you want to make on the world before you die? What do you want to contribute or what do you want to be known for in your life?
Here’s an easy format to follow, adapted from the Art of Manliness (random, I know – but I loved their approach!):
- Your geographic history (keep this brief). Where did you live? Did you travel all over or did you retire in one place?
- College and career. Where you went to school, what you majored in, what jobs you had. Include any awards or honors you won or accomplishments you made.
- Family and relationships. Did you get married? Have kids? How many?
- Your hobbies and interests. What did you do for fun in your life?
- The qualities and characteristics that set you apart and made you memorable. What did people like or admire about you?
- What people will miss about you. What impact did you have on people? How did you help them?
Here’s my eulogy:
Known to her family as “nosy Rosie”, Rosetta was born near Cleveland, Ohio, but spent most of her life and career in Washington, DC. Early on, she developed a passion for helping people and spent the beginning of her career in the nonprofit field before starting her own business. Rosetta loved to see other people succeed and dedicated her time and energy to empowering others to reach their goals and dreams. She studied English and was able to use words to spread a message of leadership, empowerment and love. Over the years, Rosetta was able to transform millions of lives with her books, speeches, programs and philanthropy and won numerous awards recognizing her efforts. She will be missed for her positive, caring spirit and insatiable curiosity about the world. Her friends and family will always cherish her willingness to support them in their lives spiritually, emotionally and financially. Rosetta loved traveling and enjoyed her experiences visiting every continent and tasting cuisines from across the globe. She was especially fond of dessert, bourbon and handsome men and enjoyed them in excess. Eventually, she met the love of her life and she and her husband decided to settle down in Honolulu, Hawaii in a modest home near the beach. As part of her legacy, she has chosen to bequeath the bulk of her estate to a nonprofit organization serving women of color.
When you’re done, please share your eulogy in the comments! How did you feel as you were writing it? Were you contemplative? Hopeful?
Note: If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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Wow..just what TV needs ….another reality show….can’t wait NOT to watch it…
I did not find this exercise as morbid as others. I had to write my eulogy in high school & I still have a copy of it. My how my ideas for my life have changed. I also think it was easy for me to get in the proper mindset because I am reading the Left Behind series which has caused me to really think about how I want to leave this Earth. I will post my final draft in a minute.
This is another one that, like the mission statement, i know i can do better given time.
I’d never really thought about what someone would say about me at my funeral before (especially since, with my life so far, there wouldn’t be much to say!)However i already had my music down! (Anthony Hamiltons “Pass me over” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TytsUdNzv50 and Lori Perrys “Up against the wind” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_ZZXOeg_y8 if you wanted to know. that should get ‘em all cryin’ lol )
Anyway, i took a stab at this. Assuming i die at a ripe old age, this is what i would have liked to accomplsh. As written in my journal…
________________
There was not a person who knew Nadine who could not say she was a blessing on their life in some way. she lived to be a blessing for others and where she did not directly do some good in someones life, her influence and inspiration served in its stead.
She overcame many childhood demons to become the woman she was. And who she was, was a gentle, caring, genuine, sincere wise and funny person.
She not only built, but taught in schools, caring for children as though they were her own.
Nadine, originally from London, travelled to many places in the world, helping to build and teach in schools, setting up residential schools, mainly in various countries on the continant of Africa and in the Caribbean.
She trained as a teacher and spent many years working in schools before setting up her own successful private tuition company in 2011.
Nadine was an accomplished pianist and spent many spare hours teaching children for free. She was also a keen swimmer, having found joy and peace in the water.
The things that stood out most about Nadine are the things that will be missed the most. Not just by her friends and family, but by the many lives she touched. And that was her gentleness, wisdom, love, but most of all her dry wit!
This was another wonderful exercise that encourages one to focus as one thinks about what one has done, where one is at now, and what goals one plans to work toward in the future. After I wrote my eulogy, I realized that, yes, I have already accomplished some things, and those were important to me while I was doing them. However, as life progresses, it is natural for one’s focus to change, and so mine has changed. What is important is that we always have goals and continue learning so that we can improve both our own lives and make a positive difference in the lives of others.
I originally thought this was going to be one morbid exercise, especially when I read 77 I like to think my life can’t be contained to just 36 more years, LOL. As I started to freely write, I somehow started to enjoy it. I actually think that I’ll save it and tweak it over the years so that it will actually be what’s written/said about me when I’m gone.
Yolanda was born in East St. Louis, IL. Despite the challenges that faced her she never let it stop her from being, well who she was. She learned that determination while a student in District 189 and took that with her as she received degrees from Western Illinois University.
Affectionately known as “Yoki” by those who loved her, she lived her life-her way!! Let it be known that her lovely nieces chose to call her “Koki” and she loved it.
If you know Yoki, you know that she was a natural born teacher yet she never spent a day in the classroom teaching. She chose to share this gift & passion by volunteering as a tutor & literacy advocate/coach for under-served populations.
She loved her family & friends wholeheartedly. She had lifelong friends and after a while they were just as much family as her actual relatives. No one ever had to wonder her passion because they knew it was being Jalen’s mother. He was her joy. As a sister & daughter, she was a force but she wouldn’t trade anything for her family. Marrying her best friend & favorite guy later in life (after 40, LOL) she spent her years with him talking (of course), reading, traveling, eating, dancing, and laughing until death separated them.
Known for having something to say (about almost everything), she will be missed most for being a sympathetic ear. Surely she’s still grooving to her own soundtrack (Vol. 131).
Follow me: @msyoki131
I cant believe how much I struggled with this exercise, it took me 13 days to complete it. Which means I’m behind with the other exercises. I felt that it was morbid but the process of writing it made me feel a bit hopeful of all the the things I am yet to accomplish and all the the things I would like to be remembered for. The exercise has also helped me to put certain things into perspective. I’ve ended up writing a whole page, I dont feel comfortable sharing though….Thanks Rosetta, for another great exercise.
NevJamGal was youngest girl in the family with 5 elder sisters and 2 younger brothers, born in a small town outside London in the UK to parents from the Caribbean. She had lived several places in the world however she retired in the Caribbean. Her passion had always been health due to her track and field background.
Her career varied from photography (always her first passion) to her health and beauty. In her early 20′s she went back to school when she decided that she wanted to travel and get paid for it and studied beauty massage therapy. before qualifying she got her first job in this field on the condition that she passed the exam(which she did with 1st class passes) she assisted in the running and setting up of beauty salons on cruise ships and small Caribbean islands. She continued to do this for hotels and spas on land until she met in an accident that left her with limited mobility at the age of 36.
This did not stop her she returned to school and gained qualifications in health,business studies and accounting all whist having physiotherapy and started a business which took off world wide. Her businesses are now run by her only child and the grandchildren as retired at the age of 70. her low movability did not stop her from learning how to ski on snow and water, adapted mountain climbing was her fav hobby. if wanted to see what NevJamGal would do next just tell her ‘you cant do that your disabled’ and she’ll go out her way to prove you wrong.
That it what everyone loved her for, her ability to prove you wrong. Her strong CAN DO personality scared those who didn’t know how to take her, but her few loved ones knew it was her way of showing if she can do all this with lower mobility then you, and not complain, what do you really have to complain about.
She also leaves behind a loving husband who she met many years after the accident always encouraged her and supported in her choices
NevJamGal will always be remembered through her business, disabled charities. by her family who knew that she never wanted a life of if only’s…..
Ok, so this went WAY further and deeper than I originally intended. I guess I have big dreams….
Deanna was born and raised in Washington DC. Educated in the DC public school system, she went on to attend and graduate from Temple University with a Communications degree in 2006. After college, Deanna relocated to Atlanta to pursue a career in real estate but changed her path to the nonprofit sector. She worked in administration and fund development for an HIV housing agency for four years until she felt a calling on her life to help rebuild families and communities. She restarted her academic career and received a Master’s degree in social policy from Brandeis University. While in graduate school in Boston, she met and fell in love with her husband who she married after graduating. And after the birth of their first son, she went on to earn a PhD in sociology from Harvard. Deanna became one of the foremost sociologists in the United States. Her research has been used to implement some of the most effective social programs in the country, including a groundbreaking social advertising campaign thats impact was felt nationwide. Acting as a consultant to the national government and several regional and local entities, she helped foster tremendous change in the social climate of the black community, especially in the areas of family life and child development.
But this alone did not satisfy her thirst for success. Always fascinated by communications and new media, she started a mobile technology company that launched several top selling applications. And her lifelong passion for the arts was finally manifested with the opening of a performing arts school for underprivileged children in DC that became a franchise in five other cities including New York, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Los Angeles and Chicago.
Deanna led a life full of passion and dedication to making the world a better place. Her legacy of creativity, innovation, leadership and compassion will live on not only through her award-winning companies, schools, books, and social programs but most importantly through the lives of her four children. Because, as she often said, above all of her many achievements, being a good wife and mother was the work she was most proud of doing.
Love it! All the best.
oh! i see i didn’t share my eulogy! i actually rather enjoyed this; writing it made me feel like i had no choice but to move forward with my life. http://www.amandamichellejones.com/?p=723
Amanda was born in Savannah, Georgia and spent most of her life experiencing life in various settings including Salt Lake City, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Washington, DC, and Chicago. Amanda also kept a second home in Costa Rica for “special getaways”, often hosting friends and family for a taste of paradise. A self-proclaimed nerd, Amanda excelled in academics throughout most of her life and used her penchant for knowledge to help others live fulfilling lives. Most notably, Amanda poured her heart and soul into her work helping to end youth homelessness across the nation. The young people she worked with in peer advocacy at VisionSpeaks, Inc. were her heart and soul; she considered each of them members of her extended family. Never one to sit still for long, Amanda could also be found managing 3-Degree Union: connecting people with the resources and networking connections they needed to pursue their own dreams. She will be remembered for her highly animated disposition, intense passion for “helping others be great,” and frequent moments of random hilarity. Amanda believed that the same energy that fueled her intoxicating spirit is something she shared with all of creation. Since energy can be neither created nor destroyed, Amanda wants you to remember that her spirit continues to live in all of us. She is survived by a loving husband, two children, grandchildren, and a host of extended family, all of whom echo this sentiment.
Tough one but it had to be done. I kept it short and sweet.
Far from perfect, although she tried to be (she always said this), Artiatesia lived a full life. After discovering her creative passion, she went on to have a successful career, being the CEO of her life. Always there when you need a should to cry on, your go-to-person for all your tech needs. She was just a wonderful person to be around. She leaves behind tons of family and friends who loved and will truly miss her. We know she is now out angel watching over us.
LaToya was born in Flowood, MS, raised in Jackson, MS and after college, lived in California and Pennsylvania. Then she settled down in the Sunshine State of Florida where she met the love of her life, her husband. She made it her mission to see the wonders of the world. She developed a love for travel at an early age and she pursued it until her very last day – still thinking about where her next adventure would be. As a child, she began traveling within the lovely fifty-nifty United States and once an adult, she began traveling internationally.
She went to Jackson State University where she received her Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science . She continued her education, receiving a Master of Science in Computer Science from Florida Institute of Technology and a Master of Business Administration. She began her career at Lockheed Martin as a Systems Engineer Associate and continued to climb the ladder in the field of software engineering to become an Application Software Development Manager. She was recognized as one of the Black Engineers of the Year for her work in the development of numerous software applications utilized by various companies to this very day. However, she was most proud of her accomplishments outside of work. She noticed a shortage of women in the field of science and technology and decided to do something about it. She began working with various female-centered organizations, connecting female engineers with young girls – elementary to middle-school aged. She was very hands-on, hosting and acting as a presenter at various seminars/workshops for young girls to experiment with d ifferent scientific techniques. She also hosted a summer camp that allowed girls to learn more about current technologies.
LaToya will be remembered as one who wanted everyone “to get God and an education”. She put so much energy into her work within the church. Following in her grandmother’s footsteps, she served as a youth leader. She worked with the women’s ministries, encouraging everyone she met to develop/nurture his/her relationship with God and serving as a role model to the young women. She volunteered as a tutor/mentor at many elementary and middle schools, assisting the students with improving their math and reading skills.
She was admired for her hard work, stubbornness/strong-will, and her involvement in the community. She was blessed with so much which motivated her to give more and more. She rem ained an active member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc and other community-based organizations.
She leaves behind her loving and wonderful husband, her family and host of friends.
I’m super late but here’s the link to my post http://wp.me/pSE72-e9
I was kinda weirded out abt writing a eulogy at first…but it does really capture the answer to “what do I want to be remembered for?”
i know what you mean when you say weirded out..so was i, and you’re right, it does bring clarity to what we want to be remembered for.
i love that you & latoya are such STEM nerds! more power to y’all!
This was such a journey for me. It forced me to really think about what I want and expect of myself. Rosetta, you are amazing!
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Lamentations 3:21-23:
21 Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning.
To everything there is a season, and the season of Shauntelle’s life on this earth is now passed. On July 20, _____ a very special blessing from God was born to Helen ___ and Vincent ____. Shauntelle Shanay _______ was born and raised in a little town in Northwest Arkansas. At the young age of 10, she moved to Florida, and started her life there. The majority of her formal education took place in that great state, but anyone who knew her would be agree that she allowed life to teach her, no matter where she was. She was a graduate of the University of Central Florida, where she received her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Psychology, with an emphasis on Mental Health Counseling. She was a member of Psi Chi, the International Honor Society in Psychology, as well as a member of the American Psychological Association.
Read the rest on my blog here: http://keikokaveri.tumblr.com/post/2382349084
I’m having trouble writing mine but your writing had given me inspiration. Beautifully put. Thanks!
Your eulogy was nice. I love the scripture references. We used “To everything there is a season” when my mother passed. I thought that yours was short, sweet and to the point. Great job! It takes a lot to write your own eulogy because we don’t want to think about death!
This was a little tough for me to get started on but here it is: http://wp.me/pBR3E-AO
Christen was born and raised in the suburbs of Washington, DC, she spent many years living in New York, California and in South Africa but she called Washington, DC home.
She always had a love for communicating, service, travel and connecting people even at a young age. By the age of 10 she had talked before many large crowds and by 13 she was a student ambassador representing the U.S. abroad. Her interest were also reflected in her schooling receiving her bachelors in journalism, her masters in public relations and her ph.d in community media, all skills she believed helped her to live her passion.
In her twenties Christen had the opportunity to spend time in South Africa and Kenya doing mission work and this changed her outlook on the world.
For many years she worked in public affairs, journalism, social media and community relations, but after meeting the love of her life, *insert name*, he encouraged her to follow her true passion and she created a community oriented communications firm dedicated to using communications and digital media to influence change in local communities and around the world. In this job she traveled all over the world meeting people and learning about their interest and sharing their causes with others. She also spent many years teaching and lecturing on the college level.
She was also well-known for her dinner parties which connected everyone one from community leaders, organizers, activists and extraordinary every day people for networking and a change in perspective.
Although Christen had a passion for work, she loved her family even more. She met the love of her life in 2011, during her year of celebrating turning 30 and together they had three wonderful children. She had a love for cooking, singing, concerts, travel and champagne. She also loved her church family and was community groups and was an active member of her church, sorority and many community and civic service groups.
Christen spent her life trying to teach others to live a life filled with faith, gratitude and ultimately serving others and wants to be remembered most for that.
Her family and friends will remember her for her loving words, listening ear, constant encouragement, spiritual guidance, emotional and financial support, instilling in them the love of culture and travel, home cooked meals, her warm heart and her loving smile.
This is amazing, Ms. Christen! Simply awe-inspiring.
Thank you so much
I’ve done most of the assignments except Day 14 and 15. I’ve had a few technical difficulties posting onto the site. This exercise may take a day or so.
I’ve actually had to write a few eulogies for my family members that passed, so writing one for myself was a lot easier. Here goes.
Kim was born in Long Island, New York and had the opportunity to travel throughout the World while working as an event planner and part time photographer. In her earlier years she worked as a legal professional then made a career change in her early 30’s that allowed her to do what she loved best, helping others and being creative. She is an alumnus of Clark Atlanta University, Long Island University and The International Center of Photography. While working on an event, Kim met her husband, who she lovingly dubbed; Booski and together they raised two wonderful children. She will be remembered for her humble personality, her creativity, her strength and for the work she has done with the youth within her community. She lived for making people laugh with her quick wit and light hearted sarcasm. She was a strong believer in always following her heart and doing what she felt was important. She encouraged her family, friends and peers to try new things, travel to different places, meet diverse people and never limit themselves – she simply wanted those around her to live…
Hate that I’m a sucker and I’ve enjoyed every single exercise, but this one…………………………..I can’t lie. I’m not even going to try and do it.
I finally did it, but it was difficult..very difficult.
I was stifled,initially, by the thoughts of what if this happened to me now @ 41. Would my son be ok? Will anybody be a real role model for him, etc so it took me a minute to even get to a point where I could even attempt. I did it and think I want it to be perfected for use anytime after my 90th b-day.
This may make me seems really strange, but I’ve totally thought about this before – I even know what song I’d want them to play (Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen) – but anyway — here’s my eulogy.
Tara was born and raised on Long Island, New York, but spent most of her life in San Francisco, a town that reflected her free-spirited beliefs and carefree attitude towards life. Tara was a jack of all trades, with diverse interests that she nurtured and developed. She is best known as the premiere event planner in Silicon Valley – her knowledge of technology and extensive experience in that world helped her rise to the top, planning amazing events for small and large firms alike. Tara studied American History at Brown University, and while she never used her degree professionally, she was a huge donor to various historical societies and museums. After ending her illustrious career in events, Tara retired to Connecticut, where it was her dream to run a bed & breakfast in a cozy New England town, much like her favorite TV character, Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls.
Tara’s life was full of the things she loved doing – she was an avid reader and a prolific writer, publishing four novels and a best-selling memoir. She was passionate about sex education, creating her own volunteer group to educate young Black women on their sexuality and practicing safe sex. She gave much of her time and money to feminist causes for young women of color, encouraging them to stay in school and follow their dreams.
Tara is survived by her loving husband, a titan of industry in the tech world, and their four daughters. They will surely miss her quick wit, beautiful smile, and dynamic personality. Tara touched everyone she came into contact with and she will not be soon forgotten.
Is it even more strange for me to say that I love your eulogy? It just sounds like a person who lived a really full and happy life that had incredible meaning to it. And I think that’s what we all want for ourselves.
I have to admit, I am so not thrilled about this exercise. I have some very serious issues with death and while I understand the point of the exercise, quite honestly, it’s going to be difficult for me to push through this one. I will push through it though, it just might take me a few days.
Agreed.
It’s normal to be all “eep!” about this exercise. I mean, it’s directly related to our eventual demise. But for me, recognizing my own mortality is what drives me to achieve my goals in the here and now. Maybe it will for you, too?
Good point…actually, having my daughter made me deal with it for a little while. After I had her, I wrote a will and a trust, got a life insurance policy and started writing letters to her in case anything ever happened to me so she would know more about me than what my family/friends tell her. That was probably the only time I’ve dealt with it in a healthy way. I’ll do it, just give me a minute, lol
My exact sentiments..death is so definite that am not thrilled about this exercise too………