Reset Your Life Day 16: Reflect, Comment and Connect

This post is Day 16 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.

Wow, I can’t believe we’re halfway through the challenge. But we are! Thanks for sticking with me thus far. It’s been an amazing learning experience for me and I hope it has been for you, too. Remember, I’m doing the exercises (or already have done them) right along with you and resetting my life as well.

Today’s assignment requires you to reflect on your learning and share in your fellow participants’ progress over the past week. Being able to compare and contrast your experiences and offer encouragement to others can be extremely useful as you move forward in your personal development journey!

Reflect

  • What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?
  • What has been your favorite exercise so far? What did you like about it?
  • Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why?

Comment

Connect

When you’re done, please share your reflections with us in the comments!

Note: If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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18 comments

  3. This post was written in my journal April 11th, two days after i made a MAJOR realization about my life. The most important realization i have EVER made about myself. In fact, the realization to (almost) and all realizations. As a result, this post was intensly personal and,for someone like me, difficult to share with a bunch of strangers. I was in two minds whether or not to post it, but i got behind with posting to this blog before, and when i caught up, i vowed to be consistant.

    I did my best to edit out some of the more rambling parts(!), but i hope you can keep up with and understand my train of thought.

    So here it is. possibly my most personal post.
    __________________

    OK, so this was a major week for me in that i made the breakthrough i needed to end my freedom (from AvPD) quest and begin the NAD mission! :0)

    So on saturday i really sat and thought about my twin fears of rejection and judgement and i realized it is not them i fear. its not facing the fear, it’s not the person dishing out the judgement/rejection. My fear is MY OWN reaction to it and the way i beat myself up and emotionally abuse myself over it, which is usually one of the 5 areas i wrote about in another post. so when i have faced any level of judgement/rejection i tell myself its because i’m fat/ugly/boring/stupid/worthless. these things give me the three “reactions” of feeling mad/bad/sad (angry/depressed/worthless/upset).

    And the reason i would abuse myself is because i felt that i deserved punishment for wrong doing. That wrong doing being the guilt i felt from the age of 5 when i was old enough to be cogniscent of what was going on around me and i somehow felt that all the crap that was happening in my family was my fault or that i could have prevented it or at least put myself in a position to experience the same level of abuse or helped in some way.

    But then i realized – i was not responsible for any of that stuff, so i didn’t do anything wrong, so i didn’t deserve to keep abusing and punishing myself. And case in point, i DID try to help, but i was always pushed away.

    Now obviously I have A LOT of work to do to get out of the cycle of self abuse. (the NAD (Neutralize And Destroy) mission) but it also helped me figure out other things, like why i keep buying unnecessary stuff, despite being in debt. It’s the abuser buying “make up gifts” for the victim (both of which being me). it also helped me figure out my relationship with my sisters. why i opften act subservient to them and feel lacking in respect from them.

    So now, the way i will deal with the three feelings is to acknowledge that there is no meaning to a situation other than the meaning i choose to put on it.

    Then if it is unavoidable that the meaning is i am being rejected/judged for one of the 5 reasons, then i must acknowledge how i CHOOSE to feel. I then employ my NAD system, in which i acknowledge the feeling then tell myself the reason it is BS for me to feel that way. I do this by telling myself all the reasons the thought is not true or why it does not matter.

    Now, will there be days when i forget all this? Sure. I’m not perfect and that’s what makes me human. The important thing is not to beat myself up but to “try again and fail better”. Next time, i won’t fall so hard or so far.

    So that’s what i learned this week(!) and this morning!

    Back to topic (ie purpose of this weeks post) Hmm, my favourite task? I thought it would be the vision board, but i haven’t even finished it! I enjoyed the “eliminating a limiting belief” for obvious reasons! I also enjoyed the perfect day in an ideal life.

    I didn’t enjoy the eulogy, there was only 1 thing on my bucket list. but weirdly i struggled with the “list 100 things”. it was easy up to about 38, but then i really had to think. I guess that means i need to spend more of my life doing or including my favourite things.

    I mean think about it – if your day is comprised of a bunch of stuff you hate or don’t like, you’re gonna spend everyday angry or resentful about your life. If the last 62 of that list were a struggle,then THAT means i am not doing enough of my favourite things often enough.

  4. •What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week? – I realized that I have the resources to work toward filling in the gaps of my needs and that I must do that by living in the present, letting go of any past sorrows as well as stopping thoughts of any future negative “what ifs.”

  5. I learnt this week that I have a lot to offer, and have achieved more in my life then I give myself credit for ;)
    My favourite exercise was my perfect day reminded me that family day for me and my child is already my perfect day.
    I struggled with the eulogy as the exercise came to me on a low day. however once I got started it became easy to get through.

    • @NevJamGal — I agree that the “My Perfect Day” was a great exercise. Like you, I found that very much of what I already have is exactly what I would want in any “perfect” day. Blessings

  6. ■What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?
    I am consistently inconsistent. My goals can be reach if I learn how to focus and stay on track. Sometimes I feel like I have ADHD or something. My mind is everywhere. So many things that I want to do. I need to learn to pick one thing and excel in it. Because I am capable of doing great things.
    ■What has been your favorite exercise so far? What did you like about it?
    I’m still catching up (the weekends throw me off because I don’t have a computer). By far it is still the life narrative. It allowed me to dream big.
    ■Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why?
    My values. I’m inconsistent with what I say I value.

  7. * What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?
    = That I know what it takes to make me happy. I just have to make those things happen.
    * What has been your favorite exercise so far? What did you like about it?
    = Days 10 and 13 were my favorite. I’ve done both things before and it was fun to add new things to the list and removed things that I thought made me happy and I’ve learned do not.
    * Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why?
    = Day 9: Do One Thing. I have such a screwed up concept or idea of saving and spending. Forcing myself to start saving kind of threw me way far out of my comfort zone.

  8. This week I learn that with a little faith in myself, I can do anything. I kept the “do one thing” going and started taking care of things around the house that I been putting off. I have decided to try and declutter as much as possible before the new year. Cluttered space, clutter mind. My favorite exercise was the perfect day. I included some things that currently makes me happy. My goals is to have more happy days than sad ones. The eulogy exercise is the hardest. I been avoiding it. I know I have to face it because it’s apart of life.

  9. I am late to the challenge, but figured I’d share something anyway. I started on 12/16 and am now completely caught up. *happy dance for myself* I thoroughly enjoyed Conducting a Life Assessment, Writing Your Ideal Life, Making a Bucket List and Imagining My Perfect Day. These exercises put a lot of things in perspective for me. I’ve learned this week that I am my own worst critic. It is only my thoughts that keep me from achieving what I want to achieve. I think the most difficult for me was the eulogy, which I still haven’t done. I honestly don’t know if I can, but will try. Now that I am up to date I hope to go over everything I wrote, reflect, and read more of the comments everyone has shared.

  10. http://wp.me/pBR3E-AO

    What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?
    That my goals and dreams are absolutely attainable and what makes me really happy in life is actually more on the simplistic side than the difficult. I also learned that a lot of times if you put something out there God will make it happen. Who knew last Thursday when I wrote about running I’d be signing up for a 10 miler the next day. I also learned that I REALLY believe in myself and that I can attain my goals.

    What has been your favorite exercise so far? What did you like about it?
    Writing my list of 100 things was really enjoyable. At first 100 seemed like a lot but then once I got started I had more than 100 and had to narrow some things down. It actually made me happy thinking about all the things that make me happy

    Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why?
    I struggled most with the eulogy. Like I said in the post death is very real and having written eulogies for actual people who I love before it just was a little difficult but of course I saw my way through. It’s one thing to imagine your ideal life from now looking out. It’s another to imagine it from the end looking backwards. Although it’s really similar it was still difficult with the element of death added.

  11. The most important thing that I learned this week was that I am the person who holds the key to my happiness. No one else can do that; I’m in complete control. My favorite exercise this week was the imagine your perfect day exercise. It allowed me to think about ways to make each and every day perfect and productive. The exercise that I struggled with was the eliminating your belief exercise because it made me deal with things that I had tried to either forget about or not deal with. In the end though, it was definitely beneficial.

  12. I am learning that my ideal life is a lot simpler than I thought it would be. The best activities for me were the vision board and 100 things. It is nice to let your brain and heart just go and move towards your dreams!

    Do ONe thing is something I am struggling with. Time to put into action all of this wonderful stuff I want to see come to past and that is hard! But I love that this challenge is holding us accountable!

  13. Just saying hello! I’ve been dealing with interview prep stress, this crazy sinus/cold thing and PMS (too much?? lol) stuff since Monday and not able to give this week my all unfortunately. I do want to thank you ladies for all the well wishes on the interview **hugs** Things went incredibly well and even if I’m not offered the position I feel so much better about my skills and preparedness.

    And a congrats on making it to the halfway mark!!! I’m excited for what’s to come :)

    Anyhoo…you know where to find me.

    http://www.thecurlymisfit.blogspot.com

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