Reset Your Life Day 2: Conduct a Life Assessment

This post is Day 2 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.

Note: During this challenge, you will be leaving a lot of comments on this blog and connecting with others on this same journey. One way to build our community is to put a face with your name, so please consider adding an avatar picture to your comments by signing up for a Gravatar here. You can also post comments using your Twitter account and it will pull in your avatar from there. And – make sure you subscribe to my blog so you can be notified of each of the daily assignments. Thanks and welcome to Day 2!

Day 2: Conduct a Life Assessment

Many of us have a love/hate relationship with the current state of our lives. There are some things that we love and appreciate about our circumstances, but honestly, there are some things we hate about them, too. (I know, hate seems like a strong word, but let’s just consider it to mean a “strong dislike” for something.) Today’s assignment will be a two-part exercise. Because before you can get clear about where you’re going, you need to have a good sense of where you are right now. You need to assess your current reality.

The purpose of this exercise is twofold:

  1. To force you to own up to exactly what’s lacking right now in your life.
  2. To give you encouragement to build on what’s already great about it.

To complete this exercise, you will conduct an honest assessment of the seven specific areas of your life:

  • Lifestyle (satisfaction with where you live/living environment, how you spend your leisure time these days)
  • Work (satisfaction with where you work right now, what you do to earn your living)
  • Education (satisfaction with your educational attainment to date – college, vocational school and other learning goals)
  • Finances (the current state of your budget/money management, salary, net worth, debt-to-income ratio)
  • Health (the current state of your mental, physical and spiritual health – mind, body, soul)
  • Family (the quality of your relationships with family members, siblings, children)
  • Relationships (the quality of your relationships with friends and romantic partners)

For each of these specific areas of your life, ask yourself two questions.

  1. What do I LOVE about this area of my life?
  2. What do I HATE about it?

You can either write your responses in your reset notebook or print out the life assessment worksheet below, fill it out and insert or paste into your notebook.

Download the Life Assessment Worksheet

When you’re done, please share your life assessment with us in the comments! Would be great to hear about your love/hates and how they compare with others in the challenge.

Note: If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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161 comments

  1. Pingback: Day 2: Life Assessment | My Blog

  2. Hello Everyone,
    Day 2 was easier than I thought it would be. I have been assessing my life for a while and I have dealt with my issues in many of the 7 areas. Work & Relationships need the most work. I glad to realize I’m happier with my life than I thought I was & to have a list of things to be thankful for in my down moments.

  3. This was challenging. I pride myself on being an emotionally honest person but it was difficult to admit that I HATE certain aspects of my life. It is a strong but fitting word. The main refrain was that I hate the loneliness. I hate that I don’t have a boyfriend or a steady group of friends to hang out with.

  4. This was challenging… I pride myself on being an emotionally honest person, but it was hard to admit that I HATE certain things. It’s a strong word, but fitting, for how I feel about certain aspects of my life. The main refrain was that I hate the loneliness… I hate the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend or a steady group of friends to hang out with on a regular basis. In college, after my first semester I joined a church that was basically a cult; and, when I left that group, lost touch with lots of people I met there because we didn’t have much in common besides church in the first place. (To be fair, I met my (now) two best friends there and am still in touch with a handful of folks who still attend the church, which, to my knowledge, has made an effort at reformation.) Lots of them are also married with children – as they had more conventional goals in life than I. In the wake of that experience, I moved quite a bit trying to fulfill dreams that I pretty much gave up while I was a part of the group; and, between dealing with the pain of the experience and trying to heal from it and giving up on people and places too soon sometimes when things got tough, I didn’t build many deep or even consistent friendships. Fast forward to “today” and I still have trouble connecting with people… I think, due to a fear of intimacy that was caused by the psychological abuse I experienced at that church. I know lots of people but I don’t trust many… And I find that I constantly end up in situations where people end up betraying my trust. The good thing is that I’m learning to suss people out more carefully and let them earn my trust instead of giving it away easily.

  5. Day 2 was a pretty easy exercise. The thing I most hate is my health. I have been a yo-yo dieter for too many years. I am glad to say I’ve started to change this by joining weight watchers and I am seeing positive results. I feel like my life is pretty balanced, but I just need a push to move to the next level. This excercised made me realize that I have become satified with mediocre living. I often get suck in the planning phase of what to do next. This challenge will give me the boost I need to move past planning into action.

  6. Okay now it is Day 2 on my 31 day challenge. This one is a toughie because it is hard admitting what I really hate about a certain away of my life. Well here it goes. I am listing what I LOVE and what I HATE about specific areas of my life

    Lifestyle: Right now I love that my lifestyle is relaxed. Even though I overwhelm myself with problems, when it comes down to it, I can be quite dramatic and overlook the little things I should be thankful for. Overall, I am fortunate to have things there for me. I have a large amount of free time on my hands as well. I don’t sleep like I should either

    I hate the fact that I am not utilizing my time wisely. I am not feeding my soul enough. Nor am I doing the things that I enjoy. I feel lazy…reallly lazy and I need to stop that. There are days where I don’t want to get out of bed. Part of it is depression and over thinking things. I tend to do that a lot. When my mind races I become stagnant. I also worry too much about mundane things.

    Work: I can say that I Love that it is easy and available.

    I hate that I don’t have enough hours, nor get enough pay. This can go down to how I view my finances. I want a job that is more challenging. By next semester I hope to have a different one. But that is neither here nor there

    Finances: Well..It is hard to say what I love about it. I guess that I can say that I am fortunate to have help from my parents.

    I hate the fact that I never feel like I have enough money. There are always bills, gas, etc. College has taught me how to budget. It’s actually quite crucial.

    Health: Physically I am in good health and that is very fortunate. Mentally, well…I won’t get into that. I don’t really have anything that I love about it. As far as my mind, body and soul I can say that I love that I have been feeding it recently. Whether it is reading motivational things or actively making sure my spirit and mind are healthy.

    I hate that I have been on a pattern on being unstable. It’s all I’ve known for a while and what I have seen. I don’t want to succumb to being that for a long period of time. It’s quite a struggle actually.

    Family: Ehh, as far as my parents go I would say that I am thankful I have them in my life for support. My relationship with my father as been on the rocks but it has gotten better over the years. Recently, I’ve gained more of his trust. With my mother, I’ve resented her for a lot of things for so long but I am finally forgiving her. I realize that if I hold on too long, I will fall back into the pattern I had been going through. My sister and I are pretty close and have been. I wish and only hope we will continue to be close as time goes on. I have over 50 cousins so it’s hard to be in contact with all of them.

    Relationships: Hmm. I vow to have stable, loyal and healthy relationships as time goes on. Right now I can count on one hand the amount of healthy and stable relationships I currently have. And it is partly because I don’t know how to be those things. I want a boyfriend but at the same time am I ready? I ask myself this. The idea of having a partner and everything is all fine and dandy..however the reality of it can be much harder and scarier than it is. I feel like when I’m ready it will happen. I have this fear of being forever alone but that is another fear that I need to overcome…

    sigh…
    Read my latest blog post…all day every day

    • Hi Brittany,

      I read your blog post and I liked what you said about education,
      “Education is more then degrees and/or certificates to me.” and it is true that sometimes society expects you to have a degree. I have halted my attempts in writing a book because I feel I need the credibility of a PhD after my name.

      Check out my blog if you have time: http://catconnection.wordpress.com

      Elaine

  9. I found that this exercise caused me to think hard about both what I love and what I dislike. Many of the things I noted I already realized. Writing them down puts it right there in my face. I have some work to do and some decisions to make. It’s a self check on what I can change. I try my best to be a positive person, but sometimes when your life is not where you want it to be…..it can bring you down. My faith in God is what allows me to see that anything is possible if I believe.

  10. Pingback: Day 2 [31 Day Reset] | anewlis

  11. I just completed this, and like someone has already mentioned, this was very draining. It felt like I had more to say about what I hated about the areas of my life . I wrote all of my responses in my notebook.

    However, what I liked about this exercise was that it forced me to look at my current situation for what it is, and learn how to own it and accept it in order for shape my life in the way that I want.

  14. I actually have this posted on my blog site, but for those not able to make it there here you go : )

    Lifestyle: One thing I love about my lifestyle is that I am now living on my own and making my own decisions. I get to really test out the things my family has taught me and apply many lessons to life. If I had to pick something that I hate about my lifestyle it would be the feeling of stagnation I have been experiencing lately. I need to figure out the next steps in my life sometime soon.

    Work: Right now I am working at a bank as a Teller and have been in this position for the past 3.5 years. Although I really enjoy my position and love my branch, I hate thinking about being in a Teller forever. I’ve finally opened up to my manager about looking into either Management, HR, or Recruiting positions once I graduate from college. The time is quickly approaching and I am ready to embark on a new work journey.

    Education: Right now I am finishing up my undergraduate degree. I have 2 more quarters left *sigh of relief*. I love this area of my life because it makes me feel accomplished despite some set-backs I have had with my college experience. What I hate about this area of my life is that I feel it took me longer than anticipated, and I wish I would have put much more into my college experience. Some people leave college with friends for a lifetime, I somehow missed that boat.

    Finances: *dun,dun, duuuuuun* I’m not sure if my S.O. will read this, but BIG shout-out to him for working with me on this area of my life, so with that being said… I love the fact that I am getting my finances and saving skills in order to be a better steward over my finances. Silly financial mistakes can cause you much stress, but if you are willing to get back on the right track the opportunity is yours and plenty rewarding in the end. What I hate about this area in my life is that in order to “get it together” that means cut-backs on certain extras I life for the time being, but I know it will all be worth it in the end.

    Health: *scanning for what I love*… unfortunately I am coming up short in the love area. What I am hating, but plan to improve is physically getting myself in the gym and staying in shape. I’ve been slacking in that department and seemingly it effects other areas and has my energy levels low = stressing out more. I also hate that I am not as much on my spiritual grind as I should which = stress and mentally breaking down at times. Overall the area of health needs major improvements…

    Family: I love the close-knit relationships my family has with one another. I got to hang out with them yesterday for Memorial Day and it was just a blessing to be around them…fellowshipping. I love that my family is my backbone and are consistently here when I need them. One thing I hate right now is not being as close to my real dads children as I would like to be. That is definitely something that will be improved upon this summer. I feel that it is important for me to know that side of my family just as much.

    Relationships: This is an area of life with a true love/hate to it. Right now I love the fact that I am dating someone who thinks the world of me. Him and I are two peas in a pod and with s set-back or two we still have managed to overcome and just really get closer and want to grow with one another and be the best we both can be. I also love the best friends who have seemed to be around forever and the growth I experience with them. These few people are additions to my family and I just adore the support we give to one another. One thing I do hate about relationships right now is with some they seem one-sided in a friendship or two. Makes me wonder if this persons season is ending or… what?
    Read my latest blog post…Day 2- Life Assessment

  15. This was a very useful exercise on clearly identifying what I love and hate about my life right now, which before was just about feeling but no clarity on what exactly moved me (negative and positive). What was interesting is that, in some instances, I both loved and hated the same thing. e.g I both love and hate my lifestyle in terms of my surroundings and the country where I am from.

  16. LIFESTYLE: love that I own my home althought not free and clear/hate that I an unable to cosmetic things because of my finances. WORK: Love that I am blessed to have a job and that it is doing something to give back to the community. Hate that it doesn’t allow me to express my creativity; doesn’t really pay enough; that I am undervalued and that I don’t enjoy getting up to go there.
    EDUCATION: Althought I obtained an AA, I din’t complete my education. HEALTH: Love that God has blessed me in this area but I do need to watch what I eat because of my cholesterol. FAMILY: Love that I come from a large family but Hate that I can not travel to see them because of finances. Hat that since the death of my parents and my sister and brother that my surviving sisters and brothers don’t seem as close. We don’t get together like we use to when mom and dad were alive and I miss that. RELATIONSHIPS: I have very few “friends,” over the years, I have outgrown them. I just don’t do the things that we use to do. It’s very hard to meet new friends and I find myself spending a lot of time alone. Romantic Relationships: Nothing to love/ Hate that there hasn’t been one in awhile. Relationship with myself: Love that I have learned that it is OK to be alone, and that I do not fear being alone and will not accept just anyone to fill a space. I am ok with me.

  17. Im goin to make this easy because my laptop doesn’t responding well with this website which is a totally drag.

    The only thing I Loved was the fact that I’ve returned to school to better myself. I have a lot of work to do to come up to the level I need to be at. :(

  18. I like Sharondas format of doing this, so i’ll just go ahead and steal it!!

    LIFESTYLE
    Love: Having lots of free time. And living in the environment i grew up in as it is safe and familiar

    Hate: Wasting my free time (thank you TV, internet and navel gazing!)and living with my family (mum, sister and nephew)

    WORK
    Love: Getting to “be myself” (ie acting goofy and silly), feeling “useful”, all the holidays, 13 weeks a year!! I am a qualified teacher but work as a Higher Level teaching Assisstant, which is basically all the “fun”(!) of teaching with a lot less of the crap (planning, grading, report writing, red tape, general BS)

    Hate: Working with/for certain colleagues, being beholden to a clock, lack of respect (from kids and colleagues) lack of freedom that comes from having to work for someone else (which is why later i will be talking about my plans to set up as a private tutor!)

    EDUCATION
    Love: That i got all my education out of the way while i was still young (i was a qualified teacher by age 26)

    Hate: That i didn’t realize at a younger age to study what interestes me as opposed to what will get me a job.

    FINANCES
    Love: That i have a certain amount of expendable income to “treat” myself

    Hate: That i can’t seem to hold onto money(!) and have no savings. I don’t earn enough to afford my own place

    HEALTH
    Love: That against all seeming odds(!) I am in relativly good health

    Hate: That i am too lazy to incorporate regular exercise and don’t eat more of the healthy foods i actually like

    FAMILY
    Love: That we are (relativly) close. My oldest nephew (he is 11 and my favourite person in the whole world!)

    Hate: How long have you got(!) I can’t talk about anything that is important to me, i get no respect (i’m the youngest) and i am thought of as the immature, emotional “weird” one.

    RELATIONSHIPS
    Love: totally moot point on all levels. In terms if friendships, havn’t had friends (real, proper friends) since i left secondary school in ’94, mostly down to my SA/AvPD issues, and partly through people misunderstanding my quietness as meanness or aloofness. In terms of “romantic” relationships, i have never had one or even been close and i am 33 in July! (yup, just call me Ms “Daddy issues”!) so in short, there is nothing for me to love in terms of relationships because i just don’t have them.

    Hate: See above(!) I also hate that i have such a lack of trust in people and a crippling fear of rejection that i am not willing to let anyone close to me to develope relationships in the first place. Even doing this blog is a stretch to me, which is why i didn’t “blog along” while i was doing this in march/april this.

    I already did the reset project end of march through april, so these are all issues i am already currantly working on. (for example, later on in the project i decided to start a “meetup” group of my own for shy/quiet/socially anxious black women (in short folks like me!) and our first meeting is this saturday!)

    In terms of the education thing, i used to hold myself back with the thought that going back to uni involved money i didn’t have. But i was putting barriers in my own way. So i rejoined my library and am in the process of reading a book a month (at least) about topics that interest me. You don’t need to be in a lecture theatre to learn!

    I am also trying to make sure my free time is better sent with exercise/reading/practising my piano and i have renewed a commitment to NOT squander my money, but put every spare penny towards my debts.

    so yup, working on it!! :0)

    • Thank you, Nadine, for being so candid. I can relate to some of what you share, especially the relationships bit… Kudos on the good stuff and progress that you are making … and onwards! :D in the areas that need improvement.

      • Thanks alot!! :o ) And the meet up group is going great!! 9 so far and counting! Met so many great women and had so many “me too” experieces. Its really restored my faith in humainity lol

  19. Lifestyle
    Love: I love that I live where I grew up. It is home to me and familiar and comforting. I love that I am able to have quality time with my Mom because we live together. I also love that I have a great group of ladies that I rockclimb with and that I have time to spend with my girlfriends.
    Hate: That I am going to be 30 in July and I live with my Mother. It is a temporary situation because I was out of work, but it makes me feel like I have regressed in life. I don’t have my own space and all of my things that made me feel like a grown-up have been in storage for three years.

    Work
    Love: Nothing.
    Hate: I just quit the job from hell and 3 years prior to that I was laid off from the job from hell. I am a attorney and I have about a year of legal experience under my belt. This fact makes me an undesirable candidate for any type of legal work.

    Education:
    Love: I have my law degree and passed the NY State Bar the first time.
    Hate: That I feel I might have chosen the wrong field to go into.

    Finances:
    Love: That by living at home I have been able to save money and have a decent amount of money put aside.
    Hate: That I currently have no income coming in.

    Health:
    Love: That I am healthy and pretty fit.
    Hate: That I feel mentally unable to cope sometimes and that I get depressed.

    Family:
    Love: That I have a loving family.
    Hate: That I am not closer to my siblings and my oldest sister’s kids.

    Relationship:
    Love: That I have an amazing boyfriend and great friends in my life.
    Hate: Sometimes dealing with my friends relationship issues.

    • @Sharonda — Since you were laid off from the “job from hell” and quit another “job from hell” (and I and a great many other persons also experienced a “job from hell”), it is obvious that many persons suffer in a hostile work environment in the current employment market. Perhaps since you have passed the NY Bar, one avenue of legal work to possibly look into might be legal representative/counselor as an worker advocate, either working for a firm that specializes in that type of legal representation or to become self-employed as a legal consultant with that specialization.

  21. Although the aspects of my life that I love outweigh those that I dislike, I feel very negative about the items on my “dislike list” and at first I felt reluctant to post any of them. But I know that the purpose of the entire series can be best achieved by fully participating. I am hoping (with confidence) that the entire series of exercises will help me to learn how to think more creatively about problem solving. I am probably older than most persons participating in this series, and my major goal is to balance semi-retirement with a new type of work, after a traumatic job loss which has forced me into early retirement (without adequate preparation financially). I would like to work for myself and have started a small textile/clothing design business but do not know (yet) whether it is possible to do this type of business on a part-time basis by “working smarter” rather than “working harder,” or whether seeking part-time work at a low but consistent salary would be wiser. I am posting one “love” and one “dislike” in each category (I cannot bring I-self to use the word “hate”).

    Lifestyle – I love owning my own house in the suburbs and enough land on which I can plant a garden. I dislike it that the neighborhood is isolationist, so I often feel like I am a square peg in a round hole.

    Work – I love the freedom of being “semi-retired” and no longer feel intimidated or fearful of harassment in a hostile work environment. I dislike it that my income is now so limited that I cannot afford anything but the basic essentials of life.

    Education – I love it that I attained a Master’s Degree with a perfect 4.0 GPA and that I did it on my own as a single parent. I dislike it that any further education (PhD) was too expensive and time-consuming to have accomplished as full-time working single mother.

    Finances – I love the fact that I have paid off my mortgage and car loan. I dislike my current level of income, which is not sufficient to afford an adequate health insurance plan (but still too young for medicare.)

    Health – I love it that I have no major diseases or illnesses and do not have to take medication for anything. I dislike the exterior physical appearance of being an older person, which I have noticed causes some younger persons to speak toward me in a condescending manner.

    Family – I love my adult children and appreciate them as individuals. I dislike it that my extended family, which is very small, live in distant locations and do not respond to keep in touch with one another.

    Relationships – I love the friends I have within my faith, although they live in distant locations. I dislike living alone.

  22. hello!

    i just finished this exercise. this was such an excellent exercise; very eye opening and showed me that i am working to be a spectacular human being, regardless how sometimes i loss sight that indeed am amazing. i wrote alot, and so i will share one hate and love from each category:

    lifestyle: love that I live in a beautiful home (not because of materialism but for everything it stands for) and hate that am not around more of people from my culture.

    work: love that am building my empire and hate that sometimes there is a risk when purchasing properties for the family business.

    education: love that i have my bs in chemistry and working on my msc at johns hopkins university. hate that i am taking off right now to focus on building the business because i miss the stuff that i learn in those courses.

    finances: love that am seeing first-hand the importance of saving consistently and hate that any time the market can change, property selling would slow down.

    health: love that i am identifying and exploring that am meant to live me as successful as possible and i hate that whatever is happening makes me not express myself in public effectively…like i think too fast or get embarrased and too flustered to speak

    family: love that i have such an amazing relationship with my mommy and i hate that one of my cousins is not to be trusted…and she was never like this.

    relationships: i love that my friends accept me even when am at my worse and hate that fact that all the men that have showed interest or dated have moved on.

    • base on what i have read.. it seems you are on the track on which you want to go despite if anyone says anything about it. keep on the powerful journey you are about to go one

  23. To make mines brief because i wrote a whole thesis today: I need to learn to stop second myself because it seems as though sometimes my mind is on default mood. Meaning that i automatically play safe because I don’t want to cause disturbance. Being in my lifestyle, work, education, etc. I freeze, have anxiety and start to stutter because my mind skips and start second guesses it self. I guess i may be afraid of success and living above my standards i already set which is way below of my true potential

  24. Whew. It took a while, but I agree with many others here that this was a great exercise. It helped me clarify that I have great influence over the things I hate in my life. I love the relative success my hard work has brought me, now I have to refocus my ability to do the tough stuff (and not so tough stuff) to shore up the areas of my life I hate (being overweight, not having a romantic life, not having more high-quality friendships, not having the financial literacy that I need to protect myself). Although I can’t force a man to love me (I wouldn’t want one that way anyhow), I have great influence over the crap I don’t like about my life. Thanks again Rosetta for providing the vehicle that helps me clarify that I need to let go of self-sabotage and get on with taking control over what I can control.

  25. Lifestyle – Love where I live and how I am living but hate not spending a lot of time outside of the house. Being a single mother has put me in this place where I would feel guilty if I had dropped my son off to have some me time. I am trying to get out of that thought process because i have lost a lot of “me”.

    Work – I love to be able to have a stable job in this day and time and really saw how much my hard work and determination to get here paid off. I hate that in my current position, there is no opportunity to grow unless I was to go to law school and if there was a position open. So I feel stuck here and no longer challeneged.

    Education – I love that I didn’t just settle for a HS diploma. I hoped from school to school trying to find that career that I would love doing for the rest of my life. I hate that I never finished not one program but hope to return to school soon.

    Finances- I love how I can budget my money down to the last penny but hate how when someone is in need, I would set my things to the side and help someone else. I also hate that I still haven’t grasped the pay my self first principal.

    Health – I love that I am still the same size since high school but hate that I have a poor diet and barely no exercise.

    Family – I love that I have a strong and supportive family but hate that life and disputes seperates us from each other.

    Relationships – I love the bond I have with my friends but hate that we grew apart from each other. I wish we could still find time to catch up but with children, work, and their personal relationships is making that time available limited. In my current relationship, I love the foundation of friendship we built and the way we communicate with each other. There are certain things that I hate but they are on a more personal level.

  26. I love my finances, more specifically that I have a good credit score. It lets me know that I am good with budgeting money, and that I have excellent self control in this area.

  27. I love my God and family-oriented lifestyle, I just need to focus on having fun myself and not letting fun pass me by. Stop letting obstacles and minor set backs keep me from enjoying life to the fullest. Have more initiative when it comes to getting the things that I want out of life. Be more communicative. Be better able to express my feelings rather than getting angry and shutting down.

  28. Wow, this was a much needed exercise for me to do for myself. Seeing my loves and hates on paper really really helped. There were a few categories where what I hate surpassed my loves but this exercise made me realize that only I could change that… and I suppose that’s the aim of the RESET.

  29. This exercie made me realise that I been in limbo and gave me a new look at the things that i need to focus on.
    LIFESTYLE: Love- its getting back on track, and any decisions made are now mine. Hate-Massive setback, hate outside interferance.
    WORK: Love- Independance and money. Hate- Not working now, and miss social aspect
    EDUCATION: Love-that I have an education, and I still love learning. Hate-Social limitations, that I’m not learning something new.
    FINANCES: Love-funds being there and independance it brings. Hate-where I am at present, setbacks are a nuisance when causes are beyound your control.
    HEALTH: Love- where I am at the moment although there is room for improvement. Hate- its taken this long to get health back on track and irritated by me recent limitations
    FAMILY: Love-Parents and Lil one, how close I became to parents who hekp me get health back on track and sister. Hate-the disfunction, Jealousy and controlling.
    RELATIONSHIPS: Love-new level I am with my parents and the important people in my life, would love to be in a relationship. Hate- not trusting on a whole. Old relaionship still effecting me.

  30. After this assessment, I’ve actually realized that I have a great deal to be thankful for. But it also made me realize that I haven’t actively addressed the problem areas in my life. For too long I’ve allowed them to be status quo. it’s time to strengthen my finances, enjoy my single life to the fullest and progress in my education and career.

  32. This tasks becomes more real when seen on paper. :| Finances: What I love…I love that because I am no longer married, my decisions regarding how to handle household finances are with ease now. I feel like I am empowered to make the best decisions for my family.

  33. I noticed when completing the information the worksheet that my list of strong dislikes are much much longer than the list of likes. Especially in the relationship section I comely failed. If I was someone else looking from the outside I would say that don’t like much about me. Now i am asking. would I be friends with me? Would I date me? Would I desire to be around someone like me?

  34. I was exhausted after completing this activity. Just having to think about the things in my life that I don’t like brought my energy down. I’ll save all the gory details and just share what is most perfect in my life right now. 1. My daughter, hands down, brings me perfect joy every single day. Of course, taking care of a toddler will always be tiring, but the love she brings me every day keeps me going. I’m stocking up on all the hugs, kisses and I love you’s that I can get before she gets older and starts rationing that! 2. My spirituality/spiritual knowledge-I found what I had been looking for spiritually back in 2004. It was quite a journey up until that point. Now all I need to do is put things into practice! 3. Education-I’m totally satisfied with my education. I have a master’s degree. This is not to say I’d never go back to school, but I’m thrilled that I never wavered in accomplishing this goal before having my daughter. I could never picture myself trying to raise a child and go to school at the same time. So that’s it. I think I’ll review my worksheet again before Day 3′s assignment. I’m sure I can add more. ;-)

  36. Day 2 was a powerful exercise for me. I wrote my responses in my notebook, but I will share a few tidbits:

    Work: I love the work that I do. I love my business, my clients and I really enjoy working with them. I love being self-employed and doing the work I dreamed of doing for my entire adult life.

    Finances: I Love that I have the power to transform my finances. I dislike the fact that at my age I don’t have it all together yet, but I am also learning to be more compassionate with myself.

    Health: I Love my current state of mental and spiritual health, but I dislike my state of physical health. I need to lose about 15-20 lbs. and keep it off.

    My family is happy and my relationships with my friends fulfill me. I dislike that I don’t balance work and family time properly and those relationships require nurturing which requires time and attention.

    All I can say is, please be patient. God isn’t finished with me yet. ;-)

  37. My assessment turned out extremely long lol but here are highlights… which now seem to have turned out long as well lol, sorry:

    Lifestyle: I love having my own apartment in Candler Park, I love my neighborhood and its shops and restaurants. I love my church and the people there. I hate sometimes feeling like I don’t fit in in the area where I live. I hate I spend so much time indoors. I hate I don’t do more musical/cultural things: learning guitar, learning french, going to the theater.

    Work: I love working for a nonprofit and that I’ve recently been promoted. I hate the fear and anxiety I feel about my new position and all the new pressures. I hate my co-workers (they’re not fond of me either for whatever reason). I hate I’m not passionate enough about the agency’s mission to keep me working there very long.

    Education: I love that I finished college. I hate I didn’t start grad school earlier and that I’m now so many years behind.

    Finances: I love my new salary. I love that I’m close to paying off a Titlemax loan. I hate that I overspend and don’t stick to my budgets. I hate that my credit is fair and not being able to get a credit card for emergencies. I hate that I have outstanding debt that I’ve yet to pay on. I hate that I don’t save.

    Health: I love that I’ve found an awesome church. I love that I’m starting to make better food choices. I hate I don’t pray and mediate more, and read my Bible regularly. I hate being overweight and not exercising.

    Family: I love that I can somewhat be open with my parents about what’s happing with me. I hate that I’m not close to my brother or step-siblings, and feeling like I’m an outsider.

    Relationships: I love that I have great friends back home. I love that I’ve recently met good people in Atlanta. I love that I just ended a toxic 2-year relationship (pow!). I hate not having good friends to call on here in Atlanta. I hate that I am Queen of bad men choices. I hate that I feel lonely right now, and being without any sort of regular companionship.

    • I agree. I find your answers to be very honest! They encourage me to be more honest in my answers

  38. So I catching up with my 31 day reset, I posted about a week ago on Day 1 then we had a death in the family and now I am back and on day 2. This was an eye opening experience all of the things that I think about on a regular basis health(weight), finances, lifestyle I vocalized on paper. I am not satisfied with at least 6 out of 7 things! and that is scary. I will blog about this too on http://naturalgirllivinggolden.blogspot.com/

    • I commented on you blog post. I pray it gets better soon. A good way to make friends when in a new city (that I’ve found) is to find activities you like to do and take a class of just go do them and you’ll start meeting like-minded people :)

    • I was where you are a few years ago. I was living with my dad, step-mother and step-siblings. God love them but they drove me crazy. I was definitely an outsider– I ate “weird food” and listened to “weird music.” I feel you on getting the house to yourself— it was a celebration every time I did lol. But living there, I felt so sheltered, so restrained and so so unhappy. I wasn’t myself and I despised what I allowed my life to become. Finally, I decided enough was enough and make a drastic decision to move out. That might not seem that dramatic but it was in my family. My parents didn’t dig it AT ALL, and even my grandmother in DC was upset.. on some “you don’t need to move out” “I don’t see why you need to leave” blah blah. But at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best FOR YOU. If that means moving out or even dropping everything and moving to a city you love, DO IT! Everything will fall into place once you take that first step towards your happiness. If I can do it, you can too sis. God Bless.

  45. I also noticed a lot of negative commentary when doing this assessment, but one thing I really love is that though my romantic relationships have not been successful in the past, I am taking time to get to know me and learn more about myself and therefore will be better prepared for my next relationship.

    • *high five* that’s the same journey I’m on now… allowing myself to heal, meditate on why I keep making piss poor dating decisions, and improving for a better chance at love and marriage. Kudos. It’s hard to do… but so worthwhile.

    • I agree with you. I’m taking the time to do inner work. I’ve had horrible relationships in the past as well so obviously I had the cart before the horse, lol! I’m loving this inner work.

  49. Finished my life assessment yesterday but didn’t get a chance to post.

    I was very honest about the various areas of my life so will remain silent for this part of the challenge. Below is one area that I am willing to share;

    Work:
    ‘I love that I am blessed with the opportunity to do a job that I enjoy and have the freedom of working for myself! I have the flexibility to choose my working hours and who I work for and can also determine how much I earn. I know that I need to ‘put a lot in’ in order to start reaping the benefits of being a business owner but I am looking forward to the continuous freedom!’

    I usually lock my feelings deep away so it was a nice surprise at how easy it was to ‘open up’. I found it to be a very enlightening experience, I initially thought that I would have a long list of areas that I hate but was pleasantly surprised that there are areas that I love and am thankful for. This exercise has helped me to put my life and priorities into focus

    I am really delighted on how open I was able to be throughout this exercise and I am looking forward to any further revelations that this challenge will bring and finding ways to ‘move forward’

    • Ditto. As I opened up myself, I was also surprised to see how much I really love about my life. And that was really encouraging. Seems like I’m doing something right :) … but there’s still a ways to go.

  50. I really liked the way this exercise broke down the different aspects of life. I had some pretty heavy stuff come out. So, here’s the one I’m willing to share:

    Education

    What do I love?
    I love that I speak two languages and I know a lot of random facts about obscure things
    What do I hate?
    There are holes in my knowledge that I think come from a lack of perspective. I wish I had gone to college when I was younger.

    • Oh trust me, there are many of us wishing we had waited a few years to attend college. I, for one, know I was definitely not ready. Why? A lack of perspective. I encourage you to embrace that experience for what it was & build upon what you did gain! I’m willing to bet your experience would be a great encouragement to someone else who didn’t go fresh out of high school.

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  53. Lifestyle: I LOVE setting my own schedule and being able to travel for free. I love that I’m using my God-given talent to support myself. I LOVE having a home but I HATE that I’m not in position to buy it although the owners would sell to me at any time. I love that I have many friends who are freelancers like myself, but I dislike the insecurity and isolation of this life. I’m happy that my life is one of creative pursuits and that I no longer have to crave a private workspace as I have one in my home that is set up just the way I like.

    Work: I’m not particularly challenged by my job and I need to feel more challenged and more productive. I truly have a great situation, but I would like to take advantage of it more by going to school or doing something with the time that I fortunately do have. The flip side of that is that sometimes I have too much time and not enough challenge.

    Education: I’m happy that I’m a voracious reader but I regret not completing my degree. Now is a good time to do it, but I can’t seem to get motivated to take the necessary steps.

    Finances: Right now the income is decent, but the mistakes I’ve made in the past have saddled me with significant debt. I’d like to bring in more income to handle that comfortably and to do more things I enjoy since I have the flexible schedule to do so. I do need to get a handle on current financial issues but I know they can be resolved. Dealing with the debt is very difficult, though as spending and money management has been a lifetime issue.

    Health: I’m very very happy that I started working out again, but need to combat increasingly bad PMS due to pre-menopausal symptoms. Yeah, I’m starting that process apparently. I would like to do better on diet and am considering buying a Vitamix because a juicer is just too much damn cleanup.

    Family: We go through our changes but that is mostly a strength in my life and being an aunt, not a mother, I believe has been the right thing for me. I do sometimes feel that I missed out on motherhood as that window is closing.

    Relationships – I have amazing friends who are loving and supportive, however I have been surrounded by, supported by and nurtured by women for much of my life. They have done more for me than any man ever has and I’d truly love to seek that balance. I’d also like to do a much better job relating to men. I don’t know if it’s become a self-fulfilling prophecy, given my strong relationships with women, but I’d like to invite more positive, affirming relationships with men into my life.

  55. • Lifestyle (satisfaction with where you live/living environment, how you spend your leisure time these days)
    I am currently not satisfied with my present living situation. I am transitioning living with a roommate after having my own independence. It has stripped me of everything. Although my friend has been so gracious to open her doors, there’s nothing like your own. On the flip side, I love that I wrote down a vision of what I wanted in my new place when I moved in with my friend and will be moving into my new loft with everything that I requested except for hardwood floors. I could be more productive in my leisure time working towards my goal of finishing my book by March.
    • Work
    I am currently working for the purpose of livelihood. I don’t get to express my creative self on the job I am working on now. It pays enough where I can make ends meet; however, as far as contributing to happiness, and me expressing myself, and it being a job I want to stay at forever, NO! I love however that my job provides me stability.
    •
    • Education (satisfaction with your educational attainment to date – college, vocational school and other learning goals)
    I was going to school to pursue social work; however, after a long evaluation of myself, and my personal satisfaction, I decided against that. I am going to take classes in the area in which I intend to make a living and that is being an author. I am going to take some creative writing classes.
    • Finances
    This area needs a major overhaul. My finances cause me to panic most days. I try to have a positive outlook knowing that I have the ability to change my financial situation; however, I still stress out and worry about my financial situation. It causes me to cry at times. I need some professional assistance to get me on the right track. Pay check to pay check has long paid out.
    • Health
    Physically I am not where I should be. I am not overweight; however, I want to implement a healthy eating plan in my life that is a lifestyle and not a just for the moment change. I also want to work out regularly for my overall health and wellbeing. I started on BP meds recently and I KNOW it was induced my stress. I want to reverse that; I will not be subject to medication!!! Spiritually I am always seeking to grow closer to that which is within me, and make that connection. With a good spiritual foundation, my mental state, physical state and emotional state will flourish. I love that I although these other areas in my life are not up to par, I am always connected to my inner being and seek refuge from within whenever I need strength.
    • Family
    I hate that my father and I don’t talk anymore because of his utter disregard of my feelings. I offered him a chance to apologize but he took that chance and slammed that door shut. Although I miss the presence of a father in my life, I don’t miss his presence because he never really paid that role in my life. I love that I talk to my mom everyday but hate she is not closer. I wished myself and siblings talked more. I know that we are all busy and have our own lives; however, I believe we all could do better by staying in touch. I love that despite the distance when we do meet up it’s like there was never a disconnection. As far as my kids, they live with their father, but we are still very much in touch with each other, my daughter is graduation next year, and I am thankful that her father and I and her step mom and impart life skills that will take her a long way. I love that I have the greatest three kids in the world, and although their dad and I divorced we a great working relationship for the good of our children.
    • Relationships
    I have a few friends that I am really tight with. Amazingly enough we aren’t all in each other’s face but we are TIGHT!!! I would like to change the fact that we only see each other once a year and are in the same town. I do want to develop one or two friends that I hang out with and talk to on a regular. I am generally hanging by myself and can call up any one of my associates, but sometimes you want that ace-boon. I love that I have a great variety of friends who I can call on and are there to support me, encourage me and help me when I need them. They are great compliments to me and I am very very very thankful for all of them. As far as LOVE relationships, I just got out of two year relationship that I thought was it, however, it turned out not to be the case so I am so focused on me, my wellbeing and my happiness, that I am not interested in a love relationship right now. When I get myself together I hope the ONE will come who will adore me.

  56. From conducting my life assessment, I realized that I had a very hard time finding things that I particularly loved about my life currently. I went through the exercise quickly listing the things I hated though. SMH. THIS is a sign that I need to do this exercise! In my “struggle” to find the things that I loved…I did recognize that regardless of it all, I am still BLESSED. Blessed to have the good sense to know that something needs to change about my life, blessed to have the motivation to do so, blessed to have a great support system, etc. With that being said….I’m so open to all of the revelations that this challenge will bring into my life.

    • Felt the same way – a combination of gratitude and a realization that I have a long way to go to reach the life I want!

  57. Lifestyle: I hate that my family and I don’t get out and take advantage of more community activities and culture. I also hate that I must work full-time to help care for my family when what I’d really like to do is work parti-time and spend more time with my children and caring for myself. I love the part of my lifestyle that allows me to have a beautiful husband and children that I can spend time growing with and sharing in the joy of family, which is so important to me.

    Work: I hate the fact that my job does not encourage growth for employees and that it attempts to on a broader scale to hold back women and certain groups and/or on a smaller scale the typical backstabbing of women v. women. I love that God has placed me in a position in which I have grown with wonderful people and that I have a group of women surrounding me who can feed my soul when I need it.

    Education: I hate the fact that I didn’t pursue and complete my secondary education sooner and that I have not found the time, nerve, money or support at home to do so. I love the fact that I did at least acquire a bachelor’s degree and that I have hope to continue my education in the future.

    Finances: I hate the fact that I haven’t saved as much disposable/liquid income as I would like. I love that I have saved a pretty decent retirement fund.

    Health: I hate that I am not as committed to working out as I should be and that I had radioactive iodine therapy to control my thyroid because I will still be on medication for the rest of my life. I love that I am healthy enough to have a pretty decent physically fit life.

    Family: I hate that my mother’s side of the family are distant from me and my siblings (and I have no idea why) but I love that I have gained about 40-50 relatives from my father’s side of the family through ancestry.com.

    Relationships: I hate that I don’t spend more quality time with my children and husband as we can be so disconnected by work, computers, Facebook, etc. I love that I do my very best always to show my friends and family that I love them and that I celebrate their lives just as I try to my own.

  58. Lifestyle: I love being free to do things spontaneously & living in the city. I hate feeling like there isn’t enough time to do the things I enjoy.

    Work: I love being surrounded by creativity (art objects & some dynamic co-workers). I hate the low pay, lack of opportunity, ineffective management and lack of support for staff development.

    Education: I love learning new things every day and I’m proud of the academic level I have achieved. I hate that my formal academic training isn’t always highly regarded.

    Finances: I love being able to support myself & having learned to be more frugal and wise about purchases. I hate the fact that my spouse is unemployed and is make life very stressful.

    Health: I love that I have dropped 80 pounds over the past two years, practically eliminated fast foods and caffeine and generally improved my eating and activity habits. I hate that I still have so much more to shed (mental & physical weight).

    Family: I love the diversity of my family, personality, appearance, opinions, etc. I hate how fractured we feel sometimes due to not living in the same city, divorce, remarriage, etc.

    Relationships: I love the open & honest relationship with my spouse, we can say anything and it’s always cool, and the supportive and encouraging group of friends I have been blessed with. I hate that my friends and I don’t spend more time together.

    • I dig you on feeling like your family is fractured. My father remarried (for the second time) when I was in college. We live in the same metro area now but I never see him. It’s like he has a completely new family now that has nothing to do with me and my single life downtown. One day I will get the guts to bring it up so we can all deal with it. I think that’s ultimately what has to happen for the situation to get any better. You know?

  59. i am super late but i want to weigh in on this:

    Work: love the stability and that i’m learning new things….hate that i’m not in a job closer to my professional skills/interest.

    Education: i love that i finished my undergrad even though it took longer than it needed too. hate that i haven’t gotten my second degree yet….i want to go but i don’t know how to pay for it or if i have time now that i’ve taken my current job.

    Finances: i’d rather not share but i need to take steps to improve my credit.

    Health: i hate my weight….i lost a lot of weight last year and it came back this year after i was laid off. love that for the most part i’m healthy.

    Relationships:i love my friends and my partner but i hate that i don’t see my boyfriend as often as i would like. i wish we spent more time bonding.

  60. Sorry I am catching up on my assignments. I was out of town and didn’t have my laptop. Here goes nothing.

    Lifestyle: I HATE being stuck at home because I do not know anyone in my new city. I LOVE the fact that I was finally strong enough to leave a relationship that I was just comfortable in.

    Work: I HATE the fact that I am not working at the moment. I get so bored. I LOVE the fact that I am networking with people in the business that I want to get in, within the near future.

    Education: I LOVE how I had the tenacity to finish undergrad even though it took longer than expected. I LOVE how I am still conitinuing school to get my MASTERS. I HATE how long it is taking to get started in my career of choice.

    Finances: I LOVE how I have turned my credit around. I HATE the fact that you cannot get anything without good credit.

    Health: I HATE how I have gained so much weight from being depressed to the point that it is hard for me to get it off. I LOVE how I have recently decided to take matters into my own hands to get this weight off.

    Family: I LOVE that I have two parents that love me and will do anything for me. I HATE how I have a family divided. I wish they would learn to interact with one another and be happy.

    Relationships: I LOVE that I have friends that care about me. I HATE how I cannot find a man that wants to spend the rest of their life with me.

  61. Hey guys! I’m late in posting – I was out of town for a few days & I took a tech break. I completed the lifestyle assessment. From the assessment I see how very unhappy I am in Chicago & that I don’t like my job at all. I know that I need to step up and begin doing things that will make life & work better for me. There are a ton of classes out that I would like to take but fear has held me captive for some time. I’m slowly facing my fears & stepping out to do more things. I want more time to pursue my passions.

    My finances are in need of a major overhaul. I was out of work for 19 months and I lived off my savings and unemployment benefits. I now have to rebuild my nest egg. I could do that a lot faster if I wasn’t such an impulse/emotional shopper.

    I am in good health. My tummy could use some tightening but overall I am happy with my body. I drink 3 liters of water a day, I take a variety of vitamins & supplements. My diet is decent but I do cave & indulge in unhealthy foods.

    I’m blessed that I have a small close family who I get along with. We really do love & support one another. I am also blessed because I have great friends. My closest friends are more like sisters. I treasure those relationships. One of my BFFs lives in NC, we talk all the time but I haven’t seen her in 4 years! Amazing that we maintain our connection. There is no romance in my life. I’ve been single since early 2008 & I have no children.

  62. Pingback: Reset Your Life Day 6: Create a Life Map | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life, Love & Business

  63. While I have been keeping up with all assignments each day this is the first time I have been able to share since Day 1… Here it goes….

    This was not my first time doing a life assessment but it was the first in a long time and I enjoyed taking it from the perspective of what I LOVE/HATE. While in my journal I did not actually use the words LOVE/HATE it gave me a formula and direction with my assessment. Earlier assessments that I did were more random. While I wrote much more in my journal below is a peek at each category.

    Lifestyle: The one thing that struck me here is that I love and hate the same thing. I moved in with my mother in Jan. While I HATE being a GAW (grown ass woman) living with my mother… My mother has cancer and needs me and I have been away from home for a LONG time so at the same time I want to leave I LOVE the time I am able to share with her and I LOVE the money I am saving by living with her.

    Work: Honestly I HATE my job and I am making moves as we speak to do something more in line with what I want to do. I LOVE my profession, my calling, my life’s work – helping families birth their babies.

    Education: I LOVE that I have degrees from top notch universities. I had great experiences at each of them. I don’t really HATE anything about my education but do look forward to getting my doctorate some day.

    Finances: I HATE that I have waaaaayyyyy more debt than I should have. I LOVE that for the first time in YEAR I am actually contributing to a savings account each month and I am spending CASH only.

    Health: I LOVE that I am healthy without chronic illness. I HATE that I am not as disciplined as I want to be when it comes to diet and exercise.

    Family: I LOVE that I have a great relationship with my mother. I HATE that I am not already creating a family of my own.

    Relationships: I LOVE that since I have moved home I have made new friends with some wonderful women. I HATE That my BFFs live in other states and I hardly get to see them.

    • I feel you on the BFF;s being in other states. I hope to get my finances in order so that we can have weekend getaways to stay connected!

      • I’m with both you…not just BFFs but people I whose company I truly enjoyed in college, I just don’t get to see. Time to hop some flights!

        • I have to chime in and agree. It’s difficult when good friends live far away and you don’t get to have quality time with them as often as you’d like. I miss a lot of my college friends and our relationships

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  65. At first I thought this assignment would be tough but I remember that I had start working on my life map so the I already at the answers I needed. It was great to look at what I love/hate about the current stage of my life.

  66. At first I thought this assignment would be tough but I remember that I had start working on my life map so the I already at the answers I needed. It was great to look at what I love/hate about my the current stage of my life.

  68. hey guys,
    I’m late, but hanging in there,catching up on my “homework” this weekend.
    A few realizations – lifestyle: i have tons of different interests, but saddened to realize that I don’t act/participate in them. relationship: i am seriously risk averse which has saved me a lot of pain, drama but a lot of joy as well.

  71. This was a great starting point for me. I see that overall I am loving and accepting where I am in my life, however I know great things are ahead for me.

    Lifestyle : I love my apartment and all of the decorating/entertaining possibilities – in fact I am currently letting 3 paint samples dry on my walls and will be completing my living room this weekend. A fresh coat of a paint = a fresh outlook! ;-)

    Lifestyle : I hate the small pests (waterbugs/mice) and the time it takes for my landlord to address these issues.

    Work : I love not working, not doing things that are mundane and not pleasing or inspiring to my soul.

    Work : I hat not being paid

    Education : I LOVE that currently I am taking 3 online courses (including this one) that were/are virtually FREE and are about SELF- AWARENESS & GROWTH and being at PEACE within!

    Education : I HATE not starting these courses when they actually began, therefore putting me behind by a couple of days.

    Finances : I hate that my debt towers over 50k (including student loans), and right now (in THIS moment) I cannot pay it back.

    Finances : I LOVE that I have support and FAITH that it will all be paid back and I refuse to fathom the idea that it will take my lifetime to do so.

    Health : I LOVE taking my multi-vitamins!!! lol I love that I have overcome colds, etc with natural and holistic living!

    Health : I HATE that I haven’t been to the doctor/dentist as often as I should.

    Family : I LOVED going home for 2 weeks and spending time with my family. My dog became socialized (in fact since arriving back home I swear he’s bored to death) and nothing but love flowed during my time away.

    Family : I HATE that I currently cant spend more time with my family. I know I bring something EXXXTRA special that is very needed and welcomed into my family members lives.

    Relationships : I LOVE that I found the courage to end a relationship with someone that God no longer intends for me to be with. I also LOVE that I have made an ernest effort to speak (not text) my ancient (lol) girlfriends. I love them and send encouragement to them as often as possible.

    Relationships : I HATE that I cannot fully cut this person out of my life, though I do not initiate the communication.

  72. I wasn’t sure whether I would do this challenge, but it seems very interesting. I just completed my life assessment and it was an eye opener.

  74. I’m usually an extremely expressive person publicly, but lately I’ve been oversharing b/c my thoughts have not been focused, so I decided to do this reset in silence…what I will say is that while I have a lot of “strong dislikes,” I am headed in the direction and taking the necessary steps that need to be taken for most of the categories.

    Relationships…that is what I look to reset over the next 31 days, so I have decided not to see my ex during this process so that I am able to keep a clear head.

    • I am also doing a major portion of this resent in private. I think it is an amazing step to keep your ex separate from this process! I think its a great Idea.

    • I’m going to strongly agree that’s a great idea. I hope it works out and you know I’m here to support you…and btw, you’re doing a GREAT job so far ;-)

  75. Hola Ladies, Sooo. I have a lot more hates than I do loves. The only thing I am completely happy with is my education. I am a work in progress.

  76. I won’t be posting my assessment online simply because there’s SOOO much that I wrote, but this was a great exercise. Like some others, thinking of the “hate” sections was sort of tough simply because I “hate” feeling bad, so I get to changing stuff with the quickness if I’m unhappy. Anywho, here goes:

    Lifestyle: I love that my apartment is my place of refuge and solitude. I hate that I don’t yet own my living space, but I’ve already attended a homeowner’s workshop so that will be happening soon!

    Work: I love the flexibility my job offers and that I can work part time and still satisfy my other needs/interests. I hate that I haven’t begun consulting my services out yet.

    Education: I love that I achieved all of my educational goals (BS, MS, gave the PhD a shot) and that I had the courage to leave the PhD program early on when my spirit told me to. I hate that I haven’t pinpointed which conferences I want to attend for personal and professional development so that I can plan ahead.

    Finances: I love that a stash I can tap into when funds are low. I hate that I don’t know as much about investing as I should.

    Health: I love that I’ve started a healthy living regimen for physical health, I love that I know my own challenge areas for mental, and I love that I know where to go for spiritual uplifting. I hate that its taken me this long to get healthy (better late than never though), hate that I don’t highlight my own strengths enough (but I’ve printed them and will post so I can read daily) and I hate that I don’t know enough about African spirituality (but I’m working on learning more as we speak!)

    Family: I love that I can call on my family when I need to the most. I hate that my siblings and I aren’t all that close.

    Relationships: I love that I know the value of relationships with others and trust that the right relationships are making themselves known at the right times. I hate that I don’t have as many relationships with men.

  79. After doing this assessment, I realize that I had so much more that I could write down but it would take forever and a day. Reading what people are writing makes me realize we’re all in the same boat.

  80. The Day 2 activity wa a wake call! There is so much that I am unhappy with in my life currently. It makes sense as I often feel I’m sleepwalking through each day. I’ve become numb to the unhappiness. See everything on the page was frightening but I also was heartened to know the “hates” relfect the past. The 31-Day Represent the present :)

    Lifestyle-I am generally unhappy with my living situation, my social life based more on professional development than my personal likes and passions, and the feeling of always “running” but never getting anything done. I am happy to be living with my family. The closeness and support has gotten me through a great deal over the last 8 years. My life would seem much worse if I didn’t have that live-in support.

    Work-I can say nothing more than my work is not feeding my spirit. Good news, I’ve already begun the steps to move from just working to actually having a career I enjoy. One that incorporates my professional skills and creative talents!

    Education-This area should be a all about LOVE but its not. I love having a masters degree but I’m unfilled with it. I’ve been debating about a PhD (Leadership/Org Dev) or a MFA in Creative Writing. Both speak to me but I feel another degree maybe overkill (this thought is heavily influenced by outsiders). Yet, both degrees speak to me and I feel could help round out the work I’m doing to move into a new career.

    Finances-I feel pretty good about this area of my life. I am officially credit-debt free!! College credit cards are paid off! I’m grateful to have a nice nest egg plus retirement savings. I don’t enjoy having no other assets/investment than my car (which is paid off). I have to get a handle on my spending and become a better steward of my money.

    Health-This area of my life has no love in it! My mental, physical, and emotional health are completely out of whack. The biggest manifestation of this imbalance is my 80lb weight gain since leaving grad school 8 years ago. I’m taking baby steps to get this together but much work needs to be done in this area of my life.

    Family-My family is the biggest love of my life. I have to include friends here too. My network of sista-friends and best guy friend are like family to me. I’m thankful they’ve been pushing me to see who I really am and stop selling myself short. I also love that I get to call some of the dopest people in the world my friends. Not just friends but close friends. These women are just doing it!!!! I’m grateful I can be in their lives and vice versa. My “hate” for this area is not being closer to my brothers, sister-in-law, niece, and nephews. Also, I hate that I feel isolated from my friends at times. Living so far away (Ashburn) is the reason why I feel so disconnected from them.

    Relationships-This area was not going to get high marks because of where I am currently. I’m still working through my break-up. My ex and I were together for almost 5 years and were engaged at one time. I’m dealing with loving myself all over again and navigating a dating scene I haven’t been in for years. Not to mention I wasn’t very active in it before the break up. I’m using this time and this challenge to set a new standard of quality for my romantic relationships and become comfortable with dating and being in a relationship (when the time comes).

  82. This was a difficult task,but I honestly felt like I was stretching to find a “hate” for each area. I try not to focus on the negatives of every area.. Okay, here goes.
    Lifestyle: I’m grateful that I’m able to afford a home for my children. I hate that I have not been update to do many upgrades in my home. I would love to decorate more and wish I had more space.
    Work: I’m grateful for a descent salary and benefits. I hate that I’ve not challenged myself and allowed income to drive my reason for being with this company so long. I hate that I work 40 minutes away from home.
    Education: happy that I recently got my associate degree in psychology. Hate that I didn’t go out of state to college when I was younger.
    Finances: I’m happy that I have a consistent income stream. I hate that I have made immature mistakes in terms of saving and investing.
    Health: Happy that I am healthy phsycially. I hate that I don’t visit my life coach/counselor as often as I should.
    Family: I have a great family and a great relationship with most family members. No “hates” here.
    Relationships: I’ve established great relationships with men.Unfortunately, I have allowed some superficial things to keep me from being completely honest with my feelings and just allowing myself to be happy in a relationship. I hate that I’m 37 and still single.

    • I really identify with a lot of the things you wrote in your assessment, especially the finances. I hate that I’m so far behind even though I have a healthy income. I also would like to make some changes to my work life-style. I’ve also allowed my salary and benefits to keep me complacent in my job.

  83. From the assessment, I realize that I love a lot more about my life than I realize. But, there is still potential for so much more! After I finished the assessment, I started a page in my journal called “Goals for 2011.” I will be adding to this list as we go through the rest of this #31dayreset!

  84. I finished my assessment and for the most part I am loving my life. My “hates” seem to stem from the desire to relocate and that is being hampered by the economy. Back to the drawing board.

  85. I have completed my life assessment. I must admit I was completely honest. Therefore I won’t be blogging about it…but I will be holding myself accountable.

  86. I have completed my life assessment. I must admit I was completely honest. Therefore I won’t be blogging about it…but I will be holding myself accountable.

  87. Pingback: Reset Your Life Day 3: Identify Your Values | Happy Black Woman | Helping Black Women Succeed in Life, Love & Business

  88. I found this to be very therapeutic to actually write/type this information and read it. I for the most part LOVE everything but the things I hate I am working on except for the relationships I feel like I have no control on romantic partners???

  90. I’ve been a pretty unhappy and negative person who hid behind certain personas or roles in my life. I definitely have hit my rock bottom and am ready to climb back up so I can see some sunshine. The last few years have been excruciating but I’m happy that I can see a tiny bit of a silver lining in all of my misery. I was able to jot some things down that I love- mostly to do with my children, who are the main reasons I’ve been able to survive without totally losing my mind.

    Of course, I didn’t feel like writing anything for my hates in each area (denial!) but I did. Good to see on paper what I need to change. I can’t go on feeling this way anymore so I’m excited to reset my life.

  92. I realized from doing this assessment that I am lazy. I have the means to change everything I want to change but I am to lazy to put in the work. I can’t complain about anything because I have control over it all rather or not I make the change is on me. Sad, sad, sad.

    • I used to consider myself lazy, but I realized I had depression symptoms. Might that be an issue for you? When you want things but just can’t make that step, either you don’t want them or something else is wrong. Good luck!

  93. I didnt really discover anything knew. Right now I’m not satisfied with my work , finances(directly related to my work situation), and my physical health (I’ve already begun working on this). However this exercise forced me to think about each of these areas so now I know what things need tweaking.

  94. Finances – I hate that I haven’t disciplined myself to save for the future. I don’t have a budget, neither to I have a financial plan. This needs to change.

    Family is the most important element of my life. I love that I have four children that love me unconditionally. I hate the fact that I can’t be the mother that I should be because I’m always at work or preoccupied with school. This can be overwhelming at times. I know that the sacrifices that I’m making will eventually lead to a better lifestyle, but I must admit that my absence takes a toll on their school work and my overall relationship with them.

  95. Did the assessment and really didn’t discover anything new. I just wrote down things that I’ve been thinking about for some time now. The summary of my assessment is in the Bottle (http://jeanniesbottle.blogspot.com) I’ve been pretty dissatisfied with what’s going on in my life and I’ve been searching for a ‘Reset’ button for ages now.

    I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s exercise.

  96. This was harder than I thought. However, I think in revisiting the LOVES in my life I’ve found that things really as bad as I make them out to be on a daily basis. I have been focusing on the negative a lot lately so I wasn’t surprised by what I hated but I was surprised big time by the things I found that I loved.

    You can read my post here: http://bit.ly/hG5rH8

    • I tried commenting on your blog but it wouldn’t allow me to.

      Love your post!

      I got a Communications degree as well. Not using it and that SUCKS!

      • Weird you couldn’t comment! I think it should be fixed now. Thanks for reading! It’s the hardest thing in the world to use a Communications degree, I’ve found, unless you got a job right of college or can sacrifice doing unpaid or low pay internships. I’ve been out of school for a year this month and I’m now starting to make that transition into an entry-level employee in Public Relations which is really bad for my income but I’m hoping the sacrifice I made will be worth it in the future.

  97. Wow. It’s not real ’til you write it out. Some of my thoughts from the assessment:

    –Lifestyle: Most of my aspects of my lifestyle I love. I love that I have the opportunity to travel often. I hate that I NEVER exercise or I cook.

    –Work: I love that I can get along with most anyone and that I’m typically good at anything that I put my mind to, BUT I hate what I do and I really would like to work for myself.

    –Family: This one was the hardest. I’m not close to my family. I don’t know if I really want to change that. And I hate that.

    –Friends: My friends are my family. I’ve made some great friendships over the years. I hate that I’m not as close with a lot of people and only know them at face value and I want to make a more concerted effort to get to know people better.

    • Nagzah!!! We totally have to hang out. One night at The Fox Theater is not enough. LOL

      The family one is tough for me because I wasn’t raised close to them so it’s like what’s the point now? I love them but I don’t want to be BFFs.

      • Luce! wait, can i call you luce, yet? we only had the one night…LOL. we should. you have my number. call it. =P although, i’m equally bad about keeping in touch. see last comment above under friends.

  98. * Lifestyle: I love that I have made a stronger effort since April 2010 to visit the gym 3 to 5 days a week. My body is soooo much stronger now. I want to change the fact that I do not own a home yet. I’d like a home with lots of trees, a backyard and 5 bedrooms. I’ve got to have space for my husband-to-be, our future kids, as well as space for our many art projects (cooking, designing jewelry, writing, refurbishing furniture, growing food, pottery, etc.).

    * Work: I’ve never been happier with my work! After years of getting close to my dream job, I finally found my niche as an academic advisor at a community college. I love my students, my students love me. I would like to change the fact that I do not have mentors within my chosen field. I am missing a sense of career direction and would like to have other women and men who could give me some assistance with thinking through my career.

    * Education: My education has afforded me many opportunities to see the world and live in places that most westerners wouldn’t dare go. However, I am deeply dissatisfied with being a doctoral student. I’m not learning much of anything that I was hoping to learn. I find myself doing things the way my professors like because that’s the way they feel a doctoral education should be. It makes me feel like my creativity is frozen. My excitement for this degree is quickly waning. In short, I need a serious pep talk as I am contemplating dropping out.

    * Finances: I am happy with my job I started in August 2010, I am making the most money I have ever made. I am thankful that after my husband left, I am still able to pay bills, and have a little something left over with very little sacrifice. However it is still not enough. I want to find a way to make double the amount of money I am making now. And having one job won’t cut it. I have no interest in quitting my current job. I just want to find ways to make money on the side.

    * Health: My mind body and soul is the strongest it has been in years! I have a community of people who support me. I am learning to read the bible and enjoy it. I am attracting like-minded people to me. I feel like my spirit is blossoming into something I never knew possible. My life is forever changed and no one can take that from me.

    * Family: I have a brand new niece born about a month ago who is in NJ with my sister. Before my mom passed away 4 years ago, she said she wanted my sister and I to be close and raise our children together. I wish I could see my sister and my niece more often. Quite frankly, I feel like I have a better relationship with friends than I do with my own flesh and blood. I would like to change that.

    * Relationships: I recently reconnected with a man I dated 12 years ago. We broke up over what turned out to be a misunderstanding. He found me on Facebook and now we’re inseparable. We have everything in common. He forces me to rethink everything I ever thought was true about life and love. He’s my soulmate. On the other hand, I have always found it easier to relate to male friends than females. I think that’s sad. Why can’t I relate to females more? I should think about that…

    • Hey Halona – I love your work and education areas! they are extremely close to my own – i found my niche as an academic advisor and my students and i loved each other too! i also started a PhD in Higher Education and dropped out in my 1st semester for the exact reasons you mentioned plus one more – my spirit was telling me that the work i loved (advising) i could do without the degree. so i’m letting the smoke settle – and then off to starting my coaching business i go! blessings on our journey and the new/old man :)

  100. I finished my Life Assessment and I must admit it was difficult. I’m willing to share two topics with you all.

    Lifestyle: LOVE that I’m single with no children (less responsibilities). HATE that I don’t use my free time to connect with more people who share the same interests as me, my leisure time can be a bit boring.

    Relationships: LOVE that I have known all my friends, both male and female for over 10 years. HATE that we are growing apart and have less things in common.

    • I think that’s something we have to work on constantly with long-life friendships having interests that keep us connected. My best friend and I have moments where we don’t click at all but I realized that sometimes we’re just not in the same “mental space” about some things and that’s ok.

      But, Ive also had to let some friendships go due to it just being time to let it go.

      • I used to think so (I have my same sister circle of 5 besties for over 10yrs), but I have met some amazing people in my 30+ journey; real true friends. Definitely a blessing.

  101. I did my assessment, and at this point there are more things that I hate than I love. It hurts, but I’m determined to remain positive. Hopefully, with this challenge, I’ll turn that around.

  102. Lifestyle~ LOVE that I’m apart of a travel club that loves to travel in a moment’s notice HATE that I  can not make minor repairs to my house, because I’m not handy.

    Work ~ LOVE that my job offers good health insurance benefits. HATE everything else about the job

    Education ~ LOVE that despite health related obstacles I obtained my MBA HATE That I rarely use my MBA knowledge on a daily basis and that I’m paying back a nice size loan for money borrowed to obtain MBA

    Finances ~ LOVE that I’m able to pay my debts on time and maintain an excellent credit score. HATE that I’m unable to save money like I use too. I need to become more discipline in my spending and budgeting.

    Health ~ LOVE that modern technology and medical research has provided new treatments for my chronic illness. HATE ~ that I’m undergoing new treatment

    Family ~ LOVE the close bond that I have with my mother and sister (my ride or die chicks:) HATE that I’m not close to my family members like we use to be, need to spend more quality time together like we did in the good ole days

    Relationships ~ LOVE I’m very blessed to have an amazing and supporting group of friends in my life. HATE that I have no prospects of a gentleman caller NONE, SMH

    • Hey Teri – I think you are handy-you just haven’t found your groove yet :) If you google it, I promise you can find instructions on how to do the work you’re looking to get done. I believe in you – you can do it!

  103. This exercise helped me to look at the positive and negative things in my life and that I am need to continue to improve on different things in my life. Looking forward to make changes.

  104. I did my self-assessment. All I feel comfortable sharing right now is that it hurts. I look forward to change. :o )

  105. Ok…here goes!

    Lifestyle: Love that I have my own home. Hate that it isn’t as organized or stylish as I’d like.

    Work: Love that I get a paycheck. Hate everything else about my job.

    Education: Love that I am able to go to school. Hate that I didn’t finish earlier in life.

    Finances: Love that I’ve learned some lessons about managing my money. Hate that I let myself get so far into debt before learning better.

    Health: Love that I have the energy and desire to be healthy. Hate that I don’t take the time to put that energy and desire to action more often.

    Family: Love that I am close to my mom and brother. Hate that I don’t have as close a relationship with my dad and sister and extended family.

    Relationship: Love that my husband loves and respects and LIKES me as an individual. Hate that we don’t get to do more together on our own.

    • Often we believe that alone in how we feel and then we see that we are not. I LOVE my paycheck, but outside of that there is nothing about my job that I find pleasure in. Well recently I have had the opportunity to do something new (instruct a class) but it’s short lived.

  106. Good grief. I just finished the exercise. If I had any sense, I’d be crying right now. I’m thankful that I was able to find SOMETHING that I love about each area; but I’m not pleased with any of those areas of my life right now. I guess that’s what this challenge is for!!!

    • Thank you Kimmie…I knew this part would be painful, but I didn’t expect what came up overall, and I was hoping I wasn’t the only one in need of serious work. :o )

    • Perfect way to look at it! We all have reached this “uh oh” times in life, but the satisfaction comes from taking action. Looking forward to hearing about your progress!

  108. I’ll follow suit and share one of each in every category.

    Lifestyle: I LOVE the fact that I’m a homeowner. I HATE that I don’t do any real stuff in the community.
    Work: I LOVE the fact that I’m able to work from home. I HATE that I don’t have a clear career path.
    Education: I LOVE that I have a BS and MS in Computer Science. I HATE that I don’t have more of a background in the business field.
    Finances: I LOVE the fact that I’m able to live a very comfortable life. I HATE that I don’t stick to my budget.
    Health: I LOVE that I am getting back into the habit of going to the gym. I HATE that I let things/people stress me out to a point of migraines.
    Family: I LOVE the relationships I have with my siblings – especially where my brother is concerned. I HATE that I don’t spend a lot of quality time with my family.
    Relationships: I LOVE the friendships I have and am building. I HATE that I’m single.

  109. Pingback: Meet 100 Women Who Are Resetting Their Lives | Happy Black Woman | Helping Black Women Succeed in Life, Love & Business

  110. I’ll share one love and one hate from each of the catergories here in the comments. Lifestyle: I love that I’m able to live semi comfortably w/ my current lifestyle. I hate that I feel complacent & stagnant in this city. I wish I never would have moved back from the East Coast. Work: I love that I’m FINALLY in the field I love. I hate that I’m not at the place yet where I can branch out on my own. I WILL direct my OWN non-profit. Education: I love that I defied the odds and graduated being a single mother and am now working on my Masters. I hate that I’m not using my B.A. as much as I’d like on a daily basis. Finances: I love that I’m able to take care of my familiy and I’s needs w/ my income. I hate that I don’t have as much “free” money(for savings, etc) as I’d like. Health: I love that I am for the most part pretty healthy. I hate that I fear something bad happening to me healthwise b/c of the health problems my family has. Family: I love my family and am so appreciative of them. I hate that we aren’t as tightknit as we used to be, after suddenly losing both my Aunt and Grandma last year. Relationships: I love that when I’m in a relationship, I’m IN. I give my all. I hate that I sometimes allow myself to deal with people who don’t give their ALL like I do.

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