This post is Day 25 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.
Some of us are actually addicted to complaining because it gives us an “out” from appreciating what we have. It makes us continue to seek and never be satisfied with our lives. In my own life, I’ve noticed that every time I resist the urge to complain, my body actually feels lighter, as if I just let go of a small piece of baggage. I’m convinced that complaining steals our joy, and today, I challenge you to stop complaining for 24 hours.
Most people do not realize that as they continue to find things to complain about, they disallow their own physical well-being. Many do not realize that before they were complaining about an aching body or a chronic disease, they were complaining about many other things first. It does not matter if the object of your complaint is about someone you are angry with, behavior in others that you believe is wrong, or something wrong with your own physical body. Complaining is complaining, and it disallows improvement. - Abraham
Day 25: Don’t Complain for 24 Hours
Today’s exercise requires you to monitor your own complaints and replace them with something more productive: gratitude.
Step 1:
Take your notebook around with you today and write down every instance where you complain about something. It could be as small as complaining about the weather or the way your partner leaves hair in the sink. Example complaint: At 3:05 pm I tweeted about how much I hate the traffic in LA.
Step 2:
For each instance, write down a statement of gratitude to combat the complaint. Think about the “silver lining” in each of your complaints. Example gratitude statement (to combat the complaint above): I’m grateful that I have a reliable car that I can use to travel back and forth on the highway.
When you’re done, please share your experience with us in the comments! Answer these three questions:
- How many times did you complain?
- Was it difficult to go a whole day without complaining?
- What did you do or say instead?
Note: If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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I am a chronic complainer. So this exercise was officially the most difficult, other than the one about negative thoughts. I believe the two are interlinked. That being said there are those that have many negative thoughts but you ask them how they are or what they think about a particular circumstance and they either answer “fine” or would rather not talk about it. ADMIRABLE but I wonder at times how they sleep at night.
Following the exercise on negative thoughts I must admit that there have been a few and yes for me they are accompanied but a not-so-healthy dose of “WOE IS ME”.
I will however promise myself that I will try harder to have a more positive outlook on life and take my little setbacks as blessings, knowing that it is perhaps an opportunity to learn. Instead of complaining, from now on I will try to look upon life’s challenges and ask “What is this trying to show/teach me?”
I realized, with this exercise, that my complaining is usually about things over which I have little or no control. This is prompting me to strive to be more flexible and to seek creative ways to deal positively about these circumstances. For example:
Complaint – Complained about the hard work of removing rocks while digging fence posts for my new veggie garden.
Gratitude – I am grateful that I have the strength to do this work, so that I can plant healthy food to eat.
Complaint – Complained about the weather (too much rain, restricts the amount of time available to do gardening.)
Gratitude – God is in control of the weather. I am grateful that there is no drought where I live, and no floods either. When it rains, it gives me an opportunity to do indoor chores and work on building my new business.
Complaint – Everything is SO expensive!
Gratitude – I am grateful that I can afford food, gas for the car, and pay the utility bills.
So today really didn’t contain any conplaining, and any time i did, i was able to turn it around. (i would give specific examples, but i didn’t write any in my journal. Since i originally did this task April 19th, i don’t remember any!)
I went out shopping today and towards the end of being out I was starting to feel impatient about walking behind slow going old people. But i just told myself to relax because i wasn’t in a hurry to go anywhere and that one day I, too, would be old.
Like task 24, this should be an ongoing daily thing.
Wow wow wow I noticed my can do approcuh disapeared this past week. The mobiltiy issue I have is one of the reasons I complain so much. I only realised that this week. Simple tasks are so hard to do; so this morning I decided to be greatful for what I can do and in a timely manner I see todays assigment. Talk about perfect timing.
I did compalin about the effort to get ready for the day
My silver lining was My mobility has improved so I decided to do a task that my mobility had not allowed me to do last year and that was a great feeling :O)
#latepass: [Update 2/8/2011]: I’m proud to say that I *did* carry my notebook around the next day & didn’t have to use it. I’m admittedly surprised myself! The cool thing is that I have become more conscious about my propensity to point out the negative. I’m getting to a point (already) that I’m more frequently pausing to ask myself 1) Do I have a solution to whatever your issue is? 2) Am I willing/able to do what it takes to put that solution forward? 3) Is it really worth my time & energy to do so? If I can’t answer yes to all 3 of those questions, then the complaint remains unvoiced & I shift focus to something nifty. I may jot it down as an idea for later, but I’m really working to stop thinking about all the negative things I encounter in life. I’m not saying it’s simple, but I am so easily distracted that I think I can make a good habit out of this!
http://www.amandamichellejones.com/?p=773
This is such an awesome post Rosetta! This principle of “if you complain, you will remain” is soooo true and people just don’t get it. Thank you for setting out a framework for kicking complaining to the curb!
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My 24 hours started as of 12 am, Monday 12/27. I have yet to complain, but Monday mornings at work…We shall see what happens. I’ll be back with an update. : )
Two occurrences came up yesterday that caused me to complain, either out loud or internally.
1) Monday morning traffic – I knew this might be an issue because I had to take my sister to her home before work. I was really irritated at this person swerving in and out of traffic and I almost cursed. Almost. Instead, I chose to bite my tongue. A few minutes later, I passed a bus stop and I saw a young woman waiting for the bus, in 30 degree weather. She had a blanket wrapped around her and at that very moment, I felt super foolish. At least I have a warm, reliable vehicle to get from point A to B in.
2) My grandma is visiting for the holidays and she’s driving me up the wall. I stopped and thought about the fact that my grandmother has done everything in her power to help me succeed and grow up in a loving, caring environment. Really, there’s no reason that I should be irritated with her.
Lawd a mercy did I do some complaining yesterday and this was all after I started the exercise LOL
- I was hungry, it was cold, too many people coming over, I was tired and people on the road. It all comes down to the fact that I am not patient. Patience is something that I have always had an issue with. Everytime I try to concentrate on learning to be patient, I always fall right back into the “instant gratification” mindset – sigh. I’m a work in progress, what can I say. This exercise did show me how much of a problem my complaining can be and I promise to work harder on not complaining about everything.
I didn’t see this yesterday so I just started this about 15 minutes ago. I usually tend not to complain but the holidays totally triggered something in me lol. So My 24 hrs pf complaining started today at 2:30pm
Where was I when this was posted?? My first hour with family was complaints. This would have done me good!! I’ll. Go without complaining tomorrow (well really today since it’s almost 2am)
I’m a chronic complainer – I don’t know why I do it, mostly just to hear myself talk. Half the time I’m complaining about things that don’t really bother me at all. So this exercise is just what I needed. Today was an amazing Christmas, so I didn’t have much to complain about, with two exceptions
1 – the impending snowstorm predicted for the Northeast
2 – my younger brothers and their noisiness
I tried to focus on the positive, instead. If it snows like crazy, it will give me a chance to stay home and get some work done that I’ve been meaning to do for a while. A good excuse to clean and stay in with family. As far as my brothers, I’m happy that I grew up in a family where we’re all so full of life and joy and where my parents rarely, if ever, silenced us. We all are good at expressing ourselves in our own way.
I think this is a great exercise for today! I wish I had read this earlier. I honestly don’t recall any major complaints today because this has been the most AWESOME Christmas ever! I’m sure I’ve let a few come out though, I think it’s rare we ever make it through a day without complaining about SOMETHING. I will definitely be doing this tomorrow. I already hear my first complaint of tomorrow in my head “Man! I don’t feel like driving back to Atlanta!” so I’ll go ahead and preempt it, “I’m so happy I have to means to visit my family, that I moved out of Tallahassee, and that I have a beautiful home to go back to”.
Today’s task was right on time…with it being Christmas and all. Before I read this post I was complaining(to myself) about my mom having me drive back and forth between her house and mine to get stuff she forgot to buy herself…but after reading this I thought back on a conversation I had in the wee hours this morning with a friend who lost his mother when he was a little less than 2 and how he will never be able to complain about his mother.
This made me grateful for the mother I have, worry-some and all.
Wow…My grandmother came to visit for the holidays and since she arrived, she has been working my nerves. Your post caused me to remember that I have a fabulous, loving, wonderful grandma that cared enough about me to visit. Thanks, Miss Dee : )
same here!