Reset Your Life Day 4: Envision Your Values in Action

This post is Day 4 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge. Learn more and sign up for the program here.

Yesterday, you identified your values and narrowed them down to a list of 10 of the most important ones. Today, we’re going to take that exercise a step further by completing the second task in developing a personal mission statement over the next few days: envisioning your values in action.

Day 4: Envision Your Values in Action

We all know that actions speak louder than words. It’s one thing to say what you care about, but much harder to walk your talk. Today’s exercise involves two parts to help you dig deeper in thinking about how you can incorporate your values into your daily life. Note: This exercise will take about 30 minutes to an hour to complete.

Part 1: Am I Currently Living Out My Values?

Now that you’re clear on what you really care about, you want to compare your values to how you’re currently living your life. For each value that you identified in your “Reset 10″, rate yourself from 1-10 on how you feel you’re acting out that particular value in your life. Be honest with yourself – it’s the only way to be able to improve upon the life you’re living now to the life you want to be living in the future!

Part 2: What Do My Values Look Like in Action?

For each value that you identified in your “Reset 10″, list out at least three actions that you currently take or that you should be taking in order to honor and fulfill that value in your life. What kinds of things would you be doing if you were living in full accordance with your values? What would it really look like for you to be able to rate yourself as a “10″ on how you live out all your values?

When you’re done, please share your “values in action″ with us in the comments! Feel free to share Part 1 or 2 or both. Would also be great to hear about any “aha” moments you experienced as you completed this exercise.

Note: If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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92 comments

  1. I enjoyed this exercise. It was refreshing to see that I am nearly “there” or well on my way in a lot of areas.

    Here are my numbers:

    1) Faith – 7

    2) Love – 7

    3) Integrity – 8

    4) personal space/freedom – 8

    5) excellent health – 7

    6) creative/artistic expression – 8.5

    7) Success – 6

    8) intellectual stimulation – 8

    9) adventure/fun – 7

    10) culture – 8

  3. Pingback: Blame it On Haiti « The Chronicles of Travelling Womanists

    • Don’t be discouraged. Look at it as an opportunity to create and build the life you know you can have. I had similar results.

    • I agree with Kenya. When I did the exercise I was extremely bummed out. But I took the results and acted on them. I have already made major changes in my life and thought process. Stick with it and things will change. Most Importantly act on the results you came up with. I am a living example that this thing works and I was the biggest procrastinator created. <3

      • Danetta,

        Thanks for the post because I have fallen behind I have been posted twice a day to try to catch up on my blog entries for the challenge. I have really allowed procrastination to get me side tracked.

  6. Wow! Like everyone else that posted their results, I have work to do. The aha moment for me was accepting to be true and saying it out loud what I already knew. It defiantly was a personal calling out session. A much needed one. I noticed a trend in the reason why the values were so low. B/c of laziness, fear of failure, and procrastination. I think I only had one value that made it above the 5 rating. What an eye opener! Things will be different.

  8. Friendships- Feel like I’m a good friend but it’s not always reciprocated back to me. People have taken my kindness for weakness. So sometimes I don’t allow myself to be the friend I want to be and should be because of that. So I’ll say 7
    Health-At this very moment I am eating a peanut butter hot fudge brownie sundae, which of course I don’t need. I should take better care of myself so my body want fail me later. So that’s a maybe a 5
    Family- Not the way I wish it could be or want it to be. Don’t have a close tie anymore. I’m trying to do right by my kids. This is a 6
    Employment- That’s a Big fat 0 unemployed right now. Scared what to reinvent myself not sure how so scared
    Happiness- I need to work on this more but actually truthfully I don’t know what will make me happy anymore. I’ve done what others have wanted to do for so long I don’t even know what I want. That is so sad 2
    Education- Actually I could do better, like I should be doing my homework right now but this is a good one and I’m happy to be back in school. Scared but happy 8
    Faith- I believe that He (God) is the only reason I move breath and have my being and there is no other reason but him that I still exist. I thank Him for His grace and mercy. I should be so much better in this area we take Him for granted and that’s so sad that this is a 5
    Love- We should and are suppose to love with the love of Christ… I stop myself from loving others the way I should if they don’t love me the way they should. 4
    Honesty-This is easy until I find out that I’m being lied to. Then I withhold because they (he, she, and them) did. I guess it’s my way of getting back at them 7
    Freedom- I’m glad I live where I can be free (USA.) But I don’t allow myself to be free. All my life, I have let others tell me what I can and cannot do even things as simple as a haircut, tattoo or piercing. 2

  9. My values didn’t look to valuable after my scoring. Family: will reach out to them more, call, drop by. Spiritual: Read my Bible more, go to Bible study, find a new church. Adventure: Save for a fun trip. Better relationship w/son: When he talks, listen, I do but he doesn’t think I do so I need to be better at it. Health: Exercise, join the spinning class that I keep talking about joining, walk, continue to work on my cholesterol issues. Creativity: Continue painting, writing stories and poetry, and actually let someone read and see them stop hiding my gift.

  10. 10)physical challenge 4
    9) healthy living 5
    8) loyalty 9.5
    7) economic security 3
    6) common sense 8.5
    5) wisdon 8
    4) self disciplne/personal responsibility 9
    3) sincerity 7
    2) fairness/justice 7.5
    1) privacy 10

    right now I am about to continue watching “Grey’s Anatomy”, so i will come back to comment(!)

    • wow, that was a long episode(!) Yup, I fell right down on my blog game, but abour ro pick it up again, with like 10 days to catch up on!!

      Starting with the continuation of envisaging my values in action.

      Part 1. Am i living out my values?
      Alot of the reason i had trouble with day 3 was that i had to acknowledge that there were some values i held that i was NOT living up to, so i had to come up with ones that i either WAS living up to, or COULD live up to. I have no business having values that i cannot live up to or am not willing to try to live up to.

      So it ended up that all the values i listed were ones that i, on some level, was already living out. So i would have to say yes, i am living out my values, but there are some i could be working harder on. These are in reverse order of importance.

      PHYSICAL CHALLENGE
      LAST year i started taking swimming lessons again for the first time since i was 8. (but i quit after about 3 months!) The year before that, i had joined a gym which was great while i was going but i missed a couple of sessions for various reasons then got lazy about going. I also used to walk almost every day, but i quit that too. I’m OK at starting things, sucky at continuing/finishing. I did do an abseil last year though, which for me was HUUUGE, espescially since i have vertigo. So yeah, i need more work with not quitting things.

      HEALTHY LIVING
      I eat (relativly) healthily, my biggest issues health wise are lack of exercise (see above) and not always going to bed as early as i should, which can make me headachy and cranky in the morning. I really want to get back on top of that, starting with walking. I even bought skechers shape ups to make the most out of any walking i do. But got lazy already!! Must. Try. Harder(!)

      FRIENDSHIPS
      Gigantor challenge for me. Havn’t had any “real” friends since i left school 16 years ago. But i am trying. I started a meet up group on meetup.com (2shy if you wanted to know!) for young(ish) black women with shyness/social anxiety issues. We had our first meet up yesterday and there were 11 of us in all!! It was a great feeling to find out that all these other women shared feelings and experience with me after spending my whole life feeling like i was the only one or odd or weird or strange.

      It’s like the story of the ugly duckling. he never really WAS an ugly duckling, just an average cygnet. He shoulda been around other cygnets then he wouldn’t have felt out of place his whole life. Tired of being a square peg in a round hole, i just went ahead and dug me a square hole!

      it has only been one meet up so far (trying to set up another one for next weekend) but even if what i get is 2 or 3 good friends out of it, then it would have served its purpose for me. So far it has about 35 members.
      My thing is that i suck at keeping in touch, so i will have to work on that.

      ECONOMIC SECURITY
      I need to be spending money more wisely so that i am not always flat broke in the week before pay day. right now i have 96 pence in my bank account!

      I used to get into the habit of, when ever i got down and derpessed, i would by myself things to cheer myself up. Thanks to the reset project (and an exercise that comes later in it) i discovered the real underlying issues with my spending habits, but i will adress that when i come to that exercise.

      Right now what i want to do is pay off my debts, save about £7000 so that i can quit my job and take some time out to decide what it is i really want to do. I am also looking at improving my earning capacity by setting up a private tuition company.

      COMMON SENSE
      seems like an odd one to have as a “value” but trust me, in my world when you are around so many ahem people who lack certain thinking skills, then yes, I value common sense and exercise it as much as i can (although even i have Duh moments). Its (at its most basic level) the ability to know right from wrong, to know what is appropriate to the situation and just the dog gone ability to THINK. As crazy as it may seem, i know ALOT of people who cannot do those things. Grown folks and children alike.

      WISDOM
      I am really good at figuring things out for myself (emotionally/mentally/psychologically speaking) and i’m pretty good at being able to read people, to the point where i wonder at the lack of ability in others. For me tone of voice, facial expression and body language are everything. However, what i need to work on is accepting the wisdom of others. Sometimes i am too quick to dismiss things if they don’t fall in line with what i think or feel.

      SELF DISCIPLINE/PERSONAL RESPONSIBILTY
      I am always honest with myself and own up (to myself!) when i am wrong. I own my mistakes and try to rectify them. I take responsibility for my actions.

      GENUINESS/SINCERITY
      I have a habit of saying things to protect others feelings, so i need to work on telling the truth, even if it might not be what someone wants to hear.

      I also need to work on giving my honest opinion about something, even if it means i am judged negativly for it.

      I value (in myself and others) the ability just to be plain old fashioned “nice”. But genuine nice, not that kind of nice that horrible people are to make people think they’re a good person. I can always spot ‘em lol Also, i dislike people who are mean just for the sheer sake of being mean.

      FAIRNESS/JUSTICE
      I like for things to be fair. (who doesn’t!) but i am not always fair in my job (in fact one of my catch phrases is “life’s not fair”!) Sometimes if i am stressed or angry i just don’t even want to listen. So yeah, i need to listen, i need to be consistant (NEED to be consistant) and the punishment should be in proportion to the “crime”, not my anger or mood at the time. (i work in a primary (elementary) school).

      PRIVACY
      In the words of Ludacris “get the f*** up out my biznizz, coz it’s mine, all mine”!

      Seriously i am a freak about my privacy. it comes from sharing a room for many years with a sister who is always up in my ish. Plus i am the youngest in my family, so people are up in my business anyway.

      i am a naturally private person, and if there is something i want to keep to myself, i don’t appreicate it being dragged out, or people rifling through my things to get it. If its private, its private for a reason..

      So yup, those are my values, and i’m stickin’ (mostly) to ‘em.

  11. Most of my values are 8-10 which are great. But the two values that concern “ME” are a 5! Booo.. Fitness and spending time with me. I finally have the great boyfriend which makes me very happy but by spending so much time with him I am spending less time with myself. Need to work on that balance.

  12. The “aha” moment for me in doing this exercise was that my priorities in living what I ideally want my values to be, there are two groups: those values that are “other-focused” and those values that are “self-focused.” I see that I have almost totally neglected values related to my own well-being (except for faith/religion) but when it comes to the values that relate to the well-being of others, I have been living my values with actions (which is good, since I have been striving to do so for all my adult life.) I see that I need to strive for a balance that does not neglect my own well-being. Perhaps this is an indication of low self-esteem, or perhaps not; perhaps I have been too aware of the possibility of being governed by ego and have gone too far in the opposite direction. Either way, a better balance is something I need to strive toward.

    * Healthful Living – 3 (Main proper weight. Exercise. Get enough sleep.)

    * Economic Security – 1 (Find a part-time job or start a home-based business. Determine the best ways of long-term investment. Create a realistic budget and stick to it.)

    * Friendships – 5 (Actively seek friendships with like-minded people. Go more places to meet more people.)

    * Integrity – 6 (Be an advocate for social justice. Have the courage to be myself. Do not accept other people’s negative opinions of me. Do not try to please everyone.)

    * Community – 7 (Volunteer to do tasks for which I have abilities and talents. Seek out like-minded individuals to connect with. Do not be afraid to go places alone.)

    * Intellectual Stimulation [Learning] – 8 (Read histories, philosophy, and theology, and share the information with others. Guide younger persons who sight me as “mama.” Seek and join consciousness groups locally.)

    * Nature – 9 (Advocate for environmental awareness. Plant a veggie garden and continue to expand it. Feed the birds. Take walks and hikes in parks and on nature trails.)

    * Family – 10 (Be available to my children and other family members for emotional support. Visit and do errands for elderly family members. Remember birthdays and special occasions.)

    * Truth – 10 (Seek truth in all matters. Proclaim truth even if it is unpopular. Accept truths even if they are unpleasant.)

    * Religion – 10 (Always be available to others as an Elder. Participate in or organize Gatherings. Attend faith services.)

  13. This whole thing makes me think I need to blog because I could say so much. One thing that jumped out is that I missed a value “spirituality”. It’s disappointing that I’m not doing well (at all) with career satisfaction and financial stability. Sadly I’m making decent money based on the cost of living here but I seem to only partially get out of the whole. Everytime I’m flowing with a budget; I get sidetracked by helping somebody. I’m my mother’s child and it’s hard to say know when I know people need help.

    Job satisfaction, man oh man. I have a job on IT that somebody else may love but it bores me. I took the position because of the challenge but the challenge is actually finding small rays of pleasure in it. I am not wired mentally for this job.

    The values that are being lived well: family/friends, peace/comfort at home, integrity, knowledge/learning. With family and friends I definitely need to stay in touch more with those at a distance.
    Integrity is something I’ve worked at for years because I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be ok with the person looking back at me.
    Peace/comfort at home – this is my sanctuary where love and happiness collide. It’s full of music. The area of improvement need : decorate more and update furniture. Try more new meals.
    Knowledge/learning – this is what has always been easiest for me. I do NEEd to return to school for more degrees which will go hand-in-hand with career satisfaction.

    Love – this has always been hardest for me. I run from it and have a hard time believing it’s real (outside of family & friends. Instead of writing a dissertation about this is I am working hard to do better. I’ve taken the handcuffs off my heart.

    Wow, thought sharing would be hard.

  14. LOL…this is depressing!!!
    My ratings for my values were mainly 3′s and 4′s and I’m ashamed to say there are a couple of 1′s too.
    But on the plus side, I was able to write down a couple of actions for each values.
    Like someone mentioned earlier in the comments, my values are all interlinked somehow, so hopefully I will be able to act out these actions.

  15. Not the outcome I had in mind; I’m harder on myself then I need to be on some areas and not hard enough on others… seeing it in black and white for me has at least make me see the achivements:

    1.Education-9 continue to learn, find a new passion or challenge; then research and DO!

    2.Work-9 rethink what can be done and stop with what can’t be done. Once identified research; study if needed and do the work.

    3.Family-9 spend time with other family members, listen more then talk; enjoy the time with them

    4.Friends-4 Learn to trust more, put self out there; stop being guarded

    5.Relocation-8 get rooted make it into a home; include child in process

    6.Self-4 Complete the 31 day reset…lol. accept self as I am now; cut out negative thoughts”..the words that come out your mouth your the first to hear speak words of beauty..” soon I will be loving life as the new me

    7.Health-4 Continue with physio, restart pilates, walking, yoga; dont do more than I can cope with and be proud of what has been achieved.

    8.Finances-4 will improve with health, find new creative ways to reach goals.

    9.Travel-4 make a list of all places I’d like to visit, make plans on how and when I’ll be going and with whom; enjoy the trip :)

    10.Love-4 Alway be the best version of me ;) , never make someone my everything if I’m only an option to them; make plans for the future.

    • love your actions now u just have to put them into reality and realize all of them will take time for all of those to accomplish when u need them to happen

  16. So I got behind, but now I’m up to date! My days 2-4 are at my blog here: http://justkiddingnobutseriously.blogspot.com/2011/01/as-usual-i-am-already-behind.html

    I have to say, putting these things on paper/blogspace is a lot more helpful than I thought it could be. Like Tina, I feel like I can begin to formulate a plan moving forward – and just writing about it makes me feel more productive. I’m getting more excited now than I was in the beginning :)

    Feel free to also follow me on Twitter if you want too :) @jaclynopritza

    • I will add: doing the exercises for Days 3 & 4 have kicked my ass. I’ve been interested in consulting for nearly 10 years & I’m just now realizing that I’m completely built for it. SMH…

      • That’s a great revelation – that you have what it takes for a career in consulting. You’re probably well done with the challenge, by now – I’m on day 8 – did you end up pursuing it?

  22. Wow. I have a lot of work to do, but the good thing is that they are doable.My aha moment, when i get things out of my head onto paper, i feel as if i have a clear path.

  23. Pingback: 31 Days to Reset Your Life: Recap and Reflect | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life, Love & Business

  25. I’m a day late and a dollar short but I’m trying…

    1. Happiness [6]
    My happiness fluctuates with whatever I’m going through and I’d like
    to be more stable with that. I want to be able to be genuinely happy
    come what may.
    Action: practice positive thinking; use affirmative words; drown out negativity

    2. Friendship [7]
    To have good friends you have to be one. I’d say I’m a good friend but
    I’ve fallen off on those that have been there from the beginning. New
    friendships are forming and I’m in a limbo place right now.
    Action: reach out more instead of waiting on them to say something;
    interact more; be more concerned

    3. Companionship [3]
    One of the things I value the most and can’t seem to live without, I
    suck at the most. I need a break.
    Action: learn that its give and take not my way or the highway; listen;

    4. Life experiences [10]
    Whether it is a good or bad result, I will always have a lesson to
    learn from my experiences.
    Action: think before acting; evaluate

    5. Spirituality [5]
    I need to learn to depend on God all the time, not when it’s convenient.
    Action: talking to him through earnest prayer; open his book and read;
    talk to someone about him

    6. Growth [8]
    This goes alongside life experiences. It’s different only in result.
    What changed?
    Action: continue to seek knowledge and closure when necessary

    7. Truthfulness [8]
    For the most part, I tell the truth. I usually lie to myself, about myself.
    Action: write out what about myself I don’t like and why and make small changes

    8. Transparency [9]
    I consider myself an open book.
    Action: I reveal in order to help another.

    9. Health [4]
    I don’t eat the way I should. I know of the health risks but I ignore them.
    Action: read ingredients until I’m blue in the face and no longer want
    a particular food

    10. Self-esteem [7]
    I know I’m pretty on the outside but I’ve let some things make me ugly
    on the inside.
    Action: words of affirmation; mentoring those with these issues

    “Aha” moment: I’m not holding the things that I value up very highly. Not sure why that is. Fear of failing myself? I’m too hard on myself.

    • Actually, I take that back. I do hold my values up well but I think too much about them. I’m doing good but it takes to much work to get there. Not natural.

  26. Living peacefully without unnecessary drama [8] – not indulging in hateful gossip, eliminating toxic friends, encouraging peace
    Treating others as well as I possibly can [7] – need to watch my words, be helpful & offer support where I can
    Being mindful of blessings [7] – forgetting how lucky I am, giving thanks, sharing blessings
    Living in the present [6] – not recognizing awesome when it happens, accepting compliments with grace
    Bold and fearless [7] – taking calculated risks, not being afraid of criticism or failure
    Healthy living [8] – ask for more family/friend support in my healthy living goals, more fitness
    Embracing my talents & skills [6] – Write every day, find opportunities to get my writing out there
    Learning [10] – I learn something new every day!
    Service [7] – more formal volunteering!
    Creativity & expression [8] – Finish projects that I start, stop doubting my talents

  27. Here’s my Day 4:

    Part 1:
    Respecting my body: 6
    Engaging my mind: 6
    Loving unconditionally: 9
    Being a good mother: 8
    Financial wellness: 5
    Healthy lifestyle: 5
    Family: 5
    Integrity: 8
    Temperament: 5
    Acceptance: 7

    Part 2:

    Keeping it to myself, pampering it more, protecting it from harm
    Read, read, read
    Exploring other cultures, forgiving,
    Reading together, at home spa days, cooking healthy meals together
    Cleaning up my debt, saving, investing
    Eating better foods*** working out regularly, teaching my daughter nutrition
    Spend more time with my mom, family dinners monthly, family outings monthly
    Familiarizing myself with the rules more often
    Pray more, meditate 3 times a week, start a journal
    Keeping a monthly log of my blessings

  28. One thing I can say about this assignment is that in envisioning my values in action, I am doing roughly 70% of what I set my values as. This shows that I am definitely on the road to where I need to go in my life, value-wise. This exercise put everything into a more organized perspective for me.

    • I agree doing this exercise made me realise that i’m doing most of what i set out in my values. Good luck in your journey

  29. I am loosely living out some of my values. I am a very creative person but the work that I do (M-F, 9 to 5) does not allow any room for creativity. I seriously need to create balance in my life to pursue my passions. Currently I am in deep discussion with God asking him to put me on the path to my purpose. I have lived many years going my own way & that hasn’t worked too well so it’s time that I stop being a control freak and let God do his thing in my life. I am making more time for family but I really want a family of my own (husband, kids, a pet or two). I have a lot of love to give but no one special to share my life with. I refuse to settle & I don’t believe in just dating to date or to get a free meal.

    Mentoring is number 8 on my list and when I added that I was thinking about a typical mentor relationship but I realized that I mentor to people all the time. One of my bffs told me that I have had a huge impact on her life and that she has learned so much from me. I was honored & shocked by that but I believe that falls into the mentoring category. Even my mom tells me that I inspire & amaze her *blushing* LOL!

    Financial stability is a very tricky area in my life. I am an emotional shopper. If I have a bad day, I’ll buy myself a little pick me up. In my world little pick me ups can be shoe shopping at Nordstrom or a mini Sephora haul. I have got to do better.

    There is MUCH room for improvement in my life but I see myself as a work in progress with a bright light at the end of the tunnel!

    • Kim I’m really with you on the emotional shopping. I’d have little to no debt. If I didn’t shop (in the past). Now I just pretty much avoid the mall at all costs lol unless I really need to go

    • “Currently I am in deep discussion with God asking him to put me on the path to my purpose.” #LoveThis

  32. I just know I have the ability to do better but I just don’t… I gave myself 6 months to be a bum after graduating with my Masters degree earlier this summer. Well the 6 months is coming to an end and this “Life Reset” is giving me the energy I need (and the direction) to make a new start as a young professional (for the second time :-0)

  33. Success- 3
    Giving back to others-5
    Continuous (sp?) learning/education- 6
    ability to travel-0
    financial stability-3
    relationships (romantic)- 5; (family)-3; (friends)-7

  34. Ugh…My blog has been down since yesterday morning, so I’m late posting.

    Here is the bottom line:

    I am VERY hard on myself, but I tried to rate my values and my current level of execution of them fairly. I discovered that there are several things that I can be doing “in the meantime” while I prepare to become more of a great woman. I had a bit of a challenge with this, but I LOVE the things I learned about me from doing it.

    Here is the link to my blog entry for Day 4: http://keikokaveri.tumblr.com/post/2129160926

  35. This 31DayReset is kicking my butt for good reason. I really needed this. I rated myself a 5 because I am totally not living up to my potential. I now know what I value and have start to make some small changes.

    • I discovered that I’m totally selling myself short in certain areas and overcompensating in others. This is a true eye opener!

      • Yes, it is. We need to start taking care of ourselves before we take care of others. The we can a better person all around.

  36. This day’s task was the hardest one for me so far. Once again I have started on a journey of transformation and once again I am slapped in the face with the fact that what I say I value and what I do are not in alignment. I am reminded AGAIN that while I have done a lot during my life there is so far for me to go and so much for me to do. I talk a good talk but have not been consistent in practicing what I teach. This time is different!!! I REALLY believe, as I wrote in my Mantra day one that FINALLY I am ready to make the commitments to my values and my time is NOW.

    I did this exercise and I felt that I was really NOT doing well with many of my listed values. I am pretty hard on myself and expect greatness so when I fall below that… I score myself accordingly. When I averaged my scores, I get a score of FOUR!! My lowest mark was a ZERO for financial independence. (I guess I could have given myself a 1 or 2 for at least saving a few dollars consistently each month.) My highest score SIX for adventure. I do live a fun filled life! For professional development, personal freedom, faith, serenity, joy, and health I gave myself a FIVE. For Wisdom, community, relationships, and change agent, I gave myself a THREE.

    I am already planning to re-do this in 60 days. My goal is to have an average of at least SIX working close to SEVEN. I have a plan and as I reset my life over the next 30 days I will be on track to living my values more fully! I am so happy I am a part of this journey with all of you!!

  37. This exercise has helped me put voice to areas I know need to be change. I like the part about figuring out what my life would look like if I was working in accordance with my values. I was able to write that out and see it clearly.

    • I agree. There is something to be said about writing stuff down and working toward your goals.

  38. Now this was an interesting one…I think what I’ve discovered is that at different times, I place focus on different things. Which explains why my ratings are all over the place. It’s a wonderful thing to have a picture of what I can do to make my life better right in front of me though.

    Great friendships 4/5
    Personal development 6/7
    Peace/Listening to inner voice 8
    Achieving my goals 8
    Travel 3
    Happiness/Fun 8
    Sharing what I love with others 6
    Entrepreneurship 2
    Taking responsibility for my own fate/happiness 10
    Building community 4
    Some of these I was ready to face the truth, others not so much. I should probably rank these so I can start making sure I’m putting some real work and effort into making these my true values. Thanks for doing this challenge – great idea!

  39. I’m late on posting this online, but here’s the link to my Day 4 task: http://truetooneme.livejournal.com/294154.html

    A-Ha Moments are included on the post, but I’ll re-post them here as well:

    1 I am on a search for intentionality in my life–proactivity & ownership being key parts of this.
    2. My challenges are significantly intensified by the limited income I’ve had over the course of my life. Money is a passport to all the things I really want (that I don’t already have, that is); as such, I must make it an objective to increase my income, then organize how it is invested in ways that help me fulfill my values, and not just accomplish goals.

  40. Faith – 3
    1) Change church membership to church I’m currently visiting
    2) Study Bible More
    3) Serve on church communities

    Volunteering -4
    1) Start back volunteering at local charities once a quarter
    2) Start back financially contributing to charities/non profits once a month

    Activism 4

    1) Get back involved with ACS advocacy group and participate in
    upcoming advocacy events
    2) assist in registering voters before next local/national election
    3) do out reach to assist patients with insurance rights and
    assist patient’s in becoming their own advocate

    Travel -8

    1) start back contributing monthly to travel club account
    2) apply & obtain passport
    3) plan a trip to visit outside the country

    Relationships – 5
    1) Contact family members/friend once month via telephone or email

    Financial Comfort -3
    1) Make budget and stick to budget
    2) Cut out entertainment/eating out budget by 30%
    3) pay off credit card by end of next year

    Healthy Living -

    1) start back exercising 4x week for minimum 30 minutes
    2) cut out fried foods by 30% – my weakness
    3) increase vegetable intake by 30%

    Integrity – 8

    Love/Kindness – 6
    Smile and Greet each person I see
    Pay it forward as often as possible

    Success 3

  41. Amazing the joy, reflection and other positive and empowering emotions I feel after this exercise/assignment!

    1.) Financial Awareness & Abundance – Rate : 4

    a. Should get REAL CLEAR about my total debt, ex : student loans, credit card bill, outstanding bills from IRS, Doctor/Dentist

    b. Should send off documentation that will greatly free up my personal cash while allowing me to sustain myself through this economy

    c. Should find ways to let me natural talents and creative abilities bring me money

    2.) Motivating Others – Rate : 7

    a. Currently send text of encouragement and faith to family members frequently

    b. Should write, with more frequency my incarcerated family members to keep them encouraged

    c. Should continue to educate myself and put into practice the importance of giving back

    3.) Charity/Volunteer Work – Rate : 0

    a. Should start my own network of females working through the storms in their lives to motivate other young women

    b. Should research organizations in my neighborhood to volunteer with to help sustain and vitalize Bed-Stuy (Brooklyn)

    c. Currently dream about volunteering on a global scale and see it in my future

    4.) Becoming closer to God – Rate : 5

    a. Currently listening to (almost daily) Joel Osteen & Creflo Dollar to learn, practice and understand the word of God

    b. Should find an actual church home to fellowship with others in the flesh

    c. Currently saying The Lords Prayer with consistency and on bended knee at night

    5.) Having more fun with Dolce – Rate : 8

    a. Currently walk him 2x per day instead of being lazy and using puppy pads as a copout

    b. Currently taking him on car trips more frequently

    c. Should continue getting him accustomed to other people, dogs and social settings

    6.) Becoming a better friend – Rate : 6

    a. Should call my friends more

    b. Should get friends mailing addresses to mail them cards on bdays or other special/momentous occasions

    c. Currently send text (as the spirit hits) of encouragement during the week

    7.) Working within in my community – Rate : 0

    a. Should go to the BK Chamber of Commerce to educate myself on their purpose in the community and how it is a service to me

    b. Should find out how I can become a member of my block association

    c. Should visit all local businesses within a 5 block radius (N.S.E.W) to educate myself on what is available to me in my own backyard and support the local businesses in my community

    8.) Touching the lives of others through my creativity – Rate : 2

    a. Currently seeking hobbies/activities of interests to develop which will help me in choosing and narrowing down a focus and build upon my creativity

    b. Currently working on a new blog/website to showcase/share my talents, interest, and inspiration

    9.) Achieving a flexible schedule (and getting paid handsomely for it) – Rate 4

    a. Currently “working from home”

    b. Should post my resume on CL and other related job sites offering my consulting services for small and emerging fashion orientated businesses

    c. Should continue to learn/develop my motivational skills turning it in a salable platform and pitch my services to those in need

    10.) Gaining Wisdom

    a. Currently listening to Joel Osteen & Creflo Dollar podcats

    b. Currently listening to podcast about Do It Yourself and Overcoming Procrastination, also listening and meditating to Deepak Chopra and reading inspiring material such as The Four Agreements

    • Your value of becoming a better friend just hit home for me, although it isn’t on my value list (in these exact terms). Over the past year, I’ve held in a lot when it comes to my girls. I’ve been cautious in my opinions even when I felt they were making hasty decisions. Now I just want to be honest with them; this is obviously something I MUST work on.

  42. My Christ-walk 6 – Pray/meditate daily without rushing through it, read my Bible daily and reflect on what I’m reading, take time to be quiet and still to receive what God is speaking to my spirit
    Family – 8 exercising more endurance with my small children after a long day, engaging with my family away from television more, reaching out to relatives I have harbored ill feelings towards
    Happiness – 5 (I know that’s a cheat answer!) spending more time introspecting into who I am and what I want, let the uncontrollable things go, appreciate everything I do have
    Fulfilling employment – 2 asserting myself more in my current position to earn more respect, stepping outside the box of my normal work pattern, fearlessly going after my passion
    Financial security/stability – 3 putting our action plan into action (budgeting), being more honest with my husband about my spending habits, getting back to tithing properly
    Travel – 1.5 taking advantage of my weekends and planning better, looking for opportunities to get out and go, better time management
    Integrity – 8 continue holding myself to high standards, practice follow-through in EVERY area, continue working on being less judgemental
    Intelligence – 7 (this was hard to put a number on!) continue pursuing academic education, never stop meeting/talking to people and tuning in to them, listen and observe
    Balance – 3 meditate more, manage time much better, learn how to say no or not right now
    Health – 3 stop making excuses or giving up on myself, stick to my plan, continue small changes

    • I love that Integrity is on your value list. I was hesitant to put it because I was having a difficult time envisioning how that was in action, but your examples were clear and helpful to me!

  45. I’m failing miserably at living out my values, but the good thing is that I can envision them in action. I know what I want my life to look like & I know that I will be able to figure out how to make that happen. In doing these exercises, I’m finding alot of negativity & areas that need great improvement. I guess the thing that I love the most is that I have NOT become upset about this sad state of affairs. I’m surprisingly calm in the realization of how bad things are. And I guess that’s because I have faith in myself that it can all be fixed.

    The great thing that has come out of all of this soul searching & introspection is that I finally know what I want to be when I grow up lol. It will allow me to be financially stable & independent. I can be creative & travel. I’d also be giving back. And the education piece of it is already set in motion. I love that & I’m thankful for this realization. I think that doing these exercises allowed me to be open to the idea & see the opportunity when it presented itself.

    • I LOVE this! I know exactly what you mean. I should be ashamed at how I know what my values are yet don’t give all of them the full respect they deserve. The good thing is I know better and now I will do better.

    • I ditto what you said. This lovely introspection has been the key force in finally helping me find a teensie bit of balance in my life for the past month. I’m loving that!

  46. Pingback: Reset Your Life Day 5: Write a Personal Mission Statement | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life, Love & Business

  47. My ratings:

    Financial security – 2
    Intelligence – 8
    Passion – 4
    Balance – 4
    Independence – 10
    Ability to laugh at life – 9
    Organization – 6
    Ability to accept and embrace change – 8
    Learning about other cultures – 8
    Friendship – 7

  48. I wanted to post a blog about this but I delved into a lot of personal areas of my life and didn’t feel like editing or censoring the information would do good to anyone. I’ll share Part 1 with you guys though.

    Professional Success – 3
    Loving Myself – 4
    Economic and Financial Stability – 6
    Education and Learning – 8
    Having a close and happy family – 4
    A good relationship with God – 4
    Fairness and Integrity When Making Decisions – 5
    Open-mindedness – 10
    Helping my community and mentoring youth – 0
    Living within my means – 8

  49. 1. Religion – [3]
    - pray all my prayers
    - seek more beneficial knowledge
    - do more charitable things

    2. Healthy living -[4]
    - exercise at least 3 times a week
    - eat healthy food at the right times
    - learn more about health and wellness

    3. Family -[6]
    - control my temper
    - be more patient
    - be more helpful

    4. Education -[6]
    - read more books
    - research things that interest me
    - take leisure courses

    5. Financial stability -[5]
    - spend less time in the mall or internet shopping/less spending period
    - learn about (halal) investments and actually purchase them
    - find ways to make more money $$$

    6. Travel -[8]
    - create a savings pool for new trips
    - travel during off-season
    - visit new places (excluding the U.S)

    7. Self-confidence -[6]
    - criticize myself less
    - focus on the positive things about myself
    - spend less time judging others

    8. community involvement -[0]
    - take my passion and get involved with an organization that specializes in it (obviously I have to find my actual passion first)
    - volunteer for any projects or programs that are on for a short-term basis
    - visit the sick/help the elderly or someone who is in need (also links with my 1. point)

    9. living in content -[1]
    - count my blessings
    - engage myself in things that I am passionate about
    - being less superficial and more conscious

    10. joy -[5]
    - accomplishing my goals
    - focusing on the positives in life
    - surrounding myself with positive people

    Aha moment: Most of my values are closely intertwined with each other. I have a lot of searching to do for this ‘passion’ of mine which I closely link to my education, financial stability, community involvement and overall joy. I think this is because I have a short-term view of everything, therefore my priorities are very short term, leading to no self-fulfillment and disorganization of priorities. I think if I have a better, clearer, broader image of what I want, my passion, I can focus primarily on that and eventually attain all these emotional values i have, like joy and contentment.

  52. I’ll share Part 1. I think I want to keep Part 2 to myself.

    Spirituality/Faith – 5
    Family – 7
    Financial Security – 4
    Friendships/Relationships
    Honesty – 7
    Privacy – 10
    Freedom/Independence – 6/7
    Compassionate toward Others – 7
    Communication – 7
    Fun/Entertainment – 8

  55. Verdict: I could do better. It was fun yesterday to write all these lovely, flowery words detailing my values but lordamercy it was a pitiful site watching me honestly rate my behavior to said values. The SAME values I said I embrace. I don’t know about the other ladies but with only 4 days in I’ve had at least two pretty awesome “aha” moments. Feels like I’m dusting the cobwebs off my life. So invigorating.

    Follow my journey at: thecurlymisfit.blogspot.com

    • I absolutely agree with you here. As I rated myself on these values I felt like I FAILED miserably and actually living up to those things. I absolutely must do better.

    • Some of the scores on my values were rough. I totally understand what you mean by looking at the flowery words and all the things you say you value, only to take a realistic look at what you’re doing to live them. I especially feel this way about my finances. My actions are not lining up with my words.

    • I agree… I had that sad moment where i was thinking “well, dang these are my value and I can’t put them in action words”… so it really made me stop and think… and think… and think some more.

    • I love the “dusting the cobwebs off my life” great way to put it. It’s going to be awesome when we’re cobweb free.

    • I feel the exact same way! The rating process was definitely eye opening (to say the least.) but the envisioning… ahhhh how refreshing! I think it is so great to be HONEST with oneself. Part of me has been so self-deprecating lately, that I wouldn’t allow the rating process to keep me down. It did make me look into the mirror about how much I was NOT living up to my OWN set of values. And maybe that is the source of the uncomfortable feeling in my life. But I have to say that writing down all the things that I COULD do to honor those values was wonderful (and flowery again!). It gave me such a better picture of what life could/would be like for me.

  56. I see that I’m a long-winded one in the bunch. What else is new? LOL
    • Incorporating travel into my life on a much more regular basis [6 – I travel all the time when I can afford to do so. Need to find employment or tour opportunities that would allow me to get out in the world more often.]
    • Continually pushing myself to be more vulnerable, engaged, and impressive in the expression of my artistic vision [7 – I love a lot of the work I’ve done so far, but know I have more to give. Must learn to moderate my perfectionism with genuine emotion.]
    • Finding a balance between introspection and meditation and the diligent pursuit of meaningful employment [5 – I fully understood this concept when I was in Singapore. Living in this bad economy in the US makes that kind of peace very difficult.]
    • Finding more ways to contribute to the spiritual health & growth of my community [8 – I do meaningful work now as an artist and educator. Want to have the financial means to make a larger impact.]
    • Honoring my role as a cultural preserver through all of the means available and of interest to me [8 – I am proud of my work with Soul Sanctuary. I want to create a larger consciousness.]
    • Having as much fun as respect, maturity and physical passion in my romantic relationships [7 – I have finally learned how to wait for a redeeming love in my life. Now I want to enjoy it more.]
    • Counting my joy every day with affirmations or words of gratitude [7 – I laugh, smile, cry & speak out my love of life every day]
    • Being boldly smart and refusing to dim my light because of other people’s issues [9 – I do not hide my light under a bushel. I just want to learn to channel my light in more dark places.]
    • Taking more time and care in expressing my outward beauty [6 – I know I’m cute. I just haven’t been diligent about dressing myself like I believe it lately. And I need more clothes that fit well, now that I’ve lost some weight.]
    • Listening more, talking less, observing, being intuitive and acting with purpose [7 – Sometimes I take my intuition for granted and philosophize too much. I want to be more of a conduit of good energy without interference.]

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