#31DayReset Day 19: Revive Your Love Life

This post is Day 19 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge for 2011. Learn more and sign up for the program here.

Yesterday, you made a bucket list. What I’ve noticed is that people often put “fall in love” or “raise a child” or “get married” on that list of things to do before they die. But what happens when your love life is virtually nonexistent? In that case, that particular goal on your bucket list may seem impossible to attain. So, today, I challenge you to get back in tune with your romantic side. Today, you will take steps to revive your love life.

Estimated Time to Complete: Varies

Today’s challenge has two options: one for those who already have a partner and one for those who are single and looking for a partner.

Option 1:

If you already have a partner or spouse, do something out of the ordinary. Do something you used to do when you first met or do something you’ve never done before. Do something romantic for no reason except that it’s Saturday. If you’re looking for ideas, I always find good ones on Lovingyou.com pertaining to love, romance, passion and sex. They also have a really fantastic list of date night ideas whether you want to stay in or go out. Clearly, there are a million ideas out there to bring more spice into your relationship. Try one!

Option 2:

If you want to find a romantic partner, you can approach someone you already like or find attractive and ask for their phone number or ask them out on a date. Or, instead of staying in the house watching TV, make plans to go out tonight to a popular spot for singles in your area – perhaps a lounge or nightclub. You might also get some ideas from this post: Five Often-Overlooked Places to Meet Single Men. Or, you can sign up for an online dating service. If you’ve never tried online dating before, I’ve written A Brief Guide to Getting Started with Online Dating. After experimenting quite a bit with different online dating sites over the past year, I have a few favorites that I outline in the post along with some valuable tips to maximize your online dating experience.

Take Action and Reflect: When you’re done, tell us about what you did to spice up your love life in the comments! Also let us know if any immediate results have occurred, either with an outcome or simply a change in your frame of mind. If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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14 comments

  1. To be honest, I was just going to skip this one. With my divorce not final yet (12 more days today!) and my soon-to-be-ex blowing up my phone with nonsense yesterday, I was feeling very jittery about tiptoeing back into the dating pool. But then I just took a deep breath and plunged on in, and it was fine! I went to a club that I already like and danced all night and had fun flirting…then got up the nerve to ask a guy that had a nice vibe to dance and then for his phone number AND GOT IT! I’ll give him a call tonight to see what he’s really like, but there’s no big pressure; I’m just trying to get to know him. The important thing is that *I* chose instead of letting someone choose me. That’s an important step for me! I love my progress.

  6. I’m actually taking a dating detox/break this month, lol! I really wanted to spend this last month of the year reflecting and working on myself internally- hence my participation in this reset challenge. I’ve read two dating guides this month that I’ve found very helpful and have helped reset some of my perspectives on relationships.

    “Getting Serious About Getting Married” – Janis Spindel
    http://www.amazon.com/Get-Serious-About-Getting-Married/dp/B001PO6AN6/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1324169140&sr=1-2

    “The Four Man Plan” – Cindy Lu
    http://www.amazon.com/Four-Man-Plan-Romantic-Science/dp/145371782X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1324170301&sr=1-1
    Read my latest blog post…Gratitude

  7. I signed up for OKCupid a while ago and then ignored it. So I signed in again for the first time in months and responded to a few messages. I also ran into some interesting guys at an art event last night. So…I’ll keep an open mind. But honestly, I’m not looking for a romantic partner right now. I was recently in a 7-month relationship, then we broke up in the spring and now we’re doing this weird “are we dating again? are we friends?” tango and…SIGH. I’m more looking for other folks to be cool with and concentrating on making a name for myself art career wise. I’m not pressed to be in another Relationship With A Capital R right now. So we’ll see. I might completely change my mind down the road.

    • The day I got this challenge I was actually set to go to a get together a friend was hosting. At the end of my work day I didn’t feel like going but I thought of the Reset Challenge and decided to make my way over. I ran into a guy I dated breifly a few years ago he was a really great man. I knew this man for a couple of years before we connected (he was in a serious relationship for most of the time I knew him) a year after he ended that relationship he connected with a mutual friend and told her that he was interested in me. We started spending time together and it was great but, unfortunately it didn’t work out. Very soon after we connected he got an amazing job offer out of the country.

      So flashforward to two days ago at this party..there he was back in town!! We were really happy to see each other. We kept trying to talk but there were soo many people we both knew at this party it was difficult to really talk… each time we did it got interuppted. He was beautiful as ever and when we did talk the vibe felt nice and flirty… he kept saying he hoped he could see me really soon and asked if my contacts were the same. Even if nothing comes of this it was nice to have a crush for the night, to be reminded that there are really great men out there and to make an effort to say yes to invitations you never know who will show up.

      :)

  8. I signed up to okcupid years ago. And although I’ve met some really cool people, I’ve never actually met them in real life. I find that I have so many personal issues right now, when I think of dating, what I see is not the fun, the support and great sex (which I’ve never gotten alot of from my partners – hence my singleness), but one more person in my life adding trauma and drama. The other part is that in the last eight years, I have only seen (not necessarily met) two men who I “felt.” Anywho, in the interest of this reset, I am going to start a reading club on okcupid (I like men who read books) where we are going to read the book Dating for dummies). I’d like to read the book with someone and I think reading it together could facilitate conversation. I don’t know.So, you guys can check me out on okcupid. My user id is Tishalr. You can sign up to read the book with me. I’m going to go and make a journal entry about it now. My goal in doing this is to actually get to hear some male people talk and maybe find them interesting. It could help. It certainly can’t hurt.

  11. When I did this challenge back in May, I signed up for Black Singles as well as OK Cupid. I’m still on OK Cupid, but I have yet to actually go out and meet someone from the site. And it’s not because no one is interested in meeting me. It’s just me being resistant to meeting people from online. I like for things to happen organically, like being someplace at I just happened to meet someone, network, connect, and possibly go on a date. I’m going to make one attempt to go out with at least one guy from OK Cupid who is interested in meeting me, but I want to focus more on going out to socials and networking events. I’m s HBCU alum, and my city has a lot of events for people who are alumni from the area where I went to college. So I will be more opened to both.
    Read my latest blog post…In Case You Missed It: The Week of August 15th, 2011

  12. so i am not going to blog about this one but i will share here. a month or so ago i asked this guy that i was really feeling out on a date…this was huge for me because i typically don’t ask anyone out …typically meaning never. AND a lot of peeps throw themselves at him which would really make him a turnoff for me but I am/was crushing hard for this guy. It was funny because I was soooooo nervous.. But, I am glad I did it because I learned a lot about myself and about the kinds of things I will need in or from my permanent love interest when we meet… i am so happy with my progress.
    Read my latest blog post…Kicking the Bucket ~Day 18

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