This post is Day 25 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge for 2011. Learn more and sign up for the program here.
As you may have noticed on Day 21: Remove Negative People from Your Life, some of us are actually addicted to complaining because it gives us an “out” from appreciating what we have. It makes us continue to seek and never be satisfied with our lives. In my own life, I’ve noticed that every time I resist the urge to complain, my body actually feels lighter, as if I just let go of a small piece of baggage. I’m convinced that complaining steals our joy, and today, I challenge you to stop complaining for 24 hours.
Most people do not realize that as they continue to find things to complain about, they disallow their own physical well-being. Many do not realize that before they were complaining about an aching body or a chronic disease, they were complaining about many other things first. It does not matter if the object of your complaint is about someone you are angry with, behavior in others that you believe is wrong, or something wrong with your own physical body. Complaining is complaining, and it disallows improvement.
- Abraham
Estimated Time to Complete: 24 hours
Today’s exercise requires you to monitor your own complaints and replace them with something more productive: gratitude.
Step 1:
Take your Reset notebook around with you today and write down every instance where you complain about something. It could be as small as complaining about the weather or the way your partner leaves hair in the sink.
Example complaint: At 3:05 pm I tweeted about how much I hate the traffic in LA.
Step 2:
For each instance, write down a statement of gratitude to combat the complaint. Think about the “silver lining” in each of your complaints.
Example gratitude statement (to combat the complaint in Step1): I’m grateful that I have a reliable car that I can use to travel back and forth to work in.
Take Action and Reflect: When you’re done, please share your experience with us in the comments! Answer these three questions in your response:
- How many times did you complain?
- Was it difficult to go a whole day without complaining?
- What did you do or say instead?
If you blogged about today’s assignment, please post the link in the comments so we can read it!
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Here is my blog post about this exercise. It was a little difficult but I decided to change my way of thinking for the day.
Read my latest blog post…31 Day Reset – Day 25 – Stop whining!
Since I spent most of yesterday by myself, traveling between appointments, I didn’t do too much complaining to anyone out loud. But in my HEAD I complained a LOT…and, boy, was this an eye-opener.
First of all, I recorded about 16 different complaints (mostly thoughts, but a few out loud), which averages to about one complaint every waking hour of the day! And here I thought I was positive. :$ But then when I looked back at what my complaining thoughts were about, I saw that I mostly complained about things that were of my own choosing. I criticized myself for choices I made; I wished that the people I chose to be around would behave differently (or that I had simply chosen not to be around them); I bemoaned my raggedy cell phone, which I have repeatedly chosen not to upgrade. Even the crazy driving and traffic I moaned about to myself is partly a choice; who told me I had to live in the nation’s 4th largest city, where I KNOW there will be erratic driving and gridlock? So what I got from this challenge is that I always have a choice, and I can choose not to put myself in situations worth complaining about…and when I’m truly faced with circumstances outside my control, I can choose not to complain.
I have already begun to do this and yesterday was definitely a test for me because of something that happened on the job. Normally I would have found someone to complain to or even took it home to husband and complain to him about it but before we got married I promised I would not my work life or any other aspect of my life poison my home life or affect our marriage. It should also go the other way around- I should not allow my home life affect my work life. Just leave it at the door.
Instead of complaining I will actually talk through it with the Lord. I may say it under my breath but I will say “Lord give me strength”. Or I will sit and evaluate the situation in my mind. Instead of showing anger or frustration about it, I will find something positive in it all and find a reason to smile. I may refocus my attention by involved in conversation with someone about a totally different subject. Taking my mind off of the matter helps so much! Next thing I know I go from upset one minute to smiling and laughing the next. It really feels great to do this. I may slip up sometimes with little things but I haven’t let it get so ingrained in me that I don’t even realize I’m complaining. I can now easily catch myself when I do it and I will automatically correct it.
Reading through these challenges makes me realize just how far I have come along in my own self-development. It makes me feel like I am really on the right track and getting closer to reaching my full potential.
Loved this one! Here’s my blog about it along with my complaints and gratitude statements! http://wp.me/p1rrQZ-3Z
Read my latest blog post…31 Day Reset: Day 25 – No Complaining for 24 Hours
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Sent this to my uncle even (though he’s a man) since he has health challenges. He really enjoyed & appreciated it, and said that he’s putting it to use from now on. I’ve been practicing this exercise quite a bit this year. It’s interesting how just a simple reframing of words & thoughts can make such a difference in how one sees things.
Normally I would love a challenge like this but I’ve felt really raw emotionally the last two days, so when I tried this activity today I had a really difficult time…my spirit just wasn’t in it with this assignment today… I’ll have to try this out again. I did make a strong effort I used positive affirmations, up lifting music lots of positive self talk, all of this normally works or at least gives me perspective, but unfortunately negativity won today
Tomorrow is another day
Pingback: 31 Days to Reset Your Life: Recap and Reflect | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life + Business
I really enjoyed this exercise. It’s so easy to focus on the negative aspects of our lives, and not pay attention to the things that we should be grateful form. In addition to that, I think complaining can actually be a good thing if it’s coupled with taking action to improve whatever it is you’re complaining about. For example, if you hate your job and complain about it, take action and begin updating your resume and make an effort to apply to at least one job a week that more to your liking.
Read my latest blog post…In Case You Missed It: The Week of August 22nd, 2011
I really enjoyed this exercise. Even with the reset project my overall mood has been pretty funky lately, I’ve been feeling really burnt out and frustrated i honestly didn’t even realize how much I unknowingly complain lately. Even the daily gratitude journal didn’t pull me out like i thought it would. I started not being able to come up with stuff over the last week almost.
But this one really made me feel better, being concious of the negative thoughts as complaints, catching them as they’re forming and cutting them off actually made me feel grateful, it’s the first time it actually clicked and writing in my journal and what I was grateful about, for the first time felt real and not like i was just doing it cause I know I should be grateful without actually feeling it.
I liked it, being able be honest w/yourself, recognize that there are negative feeling going on and actively cuttin’ em really does work.
It wasn’t hard, but I did realized i was complaining to myself a lot more than i knew, and what i did, as soon as i started thinking something, I would say out loud why it wasn’t that bad.
Pingback: #31DayReset Day 26: List 100 Things That Make You Happy | Happy Black Woman | Personal Development for Success in Life + Business
i complained about being told i may have lupus and MS… i am grateful that these are recognizable SSI and SSA diseases… so if push comes to shove I can get a check.. i really like this exercise.. it’s so easy to complain especially when it seems as if things are falling to pieces around you… half full it is
Read my latest blog post…You Want Me to do What? ~ day 24