You need look no further than Facebook or Twitter at any given time of the day to find an endless stream of sarcastic, cynical and negative comments about current events, celebrities, relationships, work or life in general. Sometimes, the level of snarky conversation we encounter online can be witty or even entertaining. But most of the time, it’s downright depressing.
Have you ever been around someone who literally hates everything? That’s what listening to a snarky person is like. The people out there that literally have nothing productive to offer beyond sarcastic commentary, hurtful criticism or mean jokes at someone else’s expense. All.day.long. At first it might be funny to hear them crack jokes about the latest celebrity or political scandal, but over time it definitely gets old. They always have something sarcastic or critical to say about any given person, topic or event. It’s almost as if they don’t know how to be positive, optimistic or happy about anything.
Because I see this behavior so much (online and off), I’ve started to wonder, what is the price we pay for snark?
What effect does engaging in negative, cynical conversation have on our mental health in the long run? Is it like secondhand smoke, clogging up our lungs, preventing us from fully accessing fresh air? Or is it truly harmless to say and hear negative things about ourselves and others day after day?
But honestly, and this is the main question that I tend to apply to everything these days, does being snarky make us happy?
Or, does it just help us fit in with all the other unhappy people?
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I work with a bunch of snarky women who do nothing but try to tear each other down on a daily basis. It really makes my desire to work from home look better everyday. These type of people are unhappy, so they love to spread the unhappiness around.
Read my latest blog post…Government Shutdown
Snark is definitely like second-hand smoke: it seeps in and affects us without our even realizing it. Energy–whether positive or negative–is contagious. We have to be careful about what we take in, and how much of it we take in to avoid having it negatively affect our attitudes about ourselves and our own lives. Snark, complaining, misbehaving (reality shows), negative talk–they all have the power to affect us if we don’t closely monitor what we read and watch and who we spend our time with, ensuring that whatever those things are bringing into our lives is consistent with how we say we want to live our lives.
Read my latest blog post…The Art of Adversity
snark is the price we pay for deflecting our own pain outward. But rather than focus on what it is that is ACTUALLY painful for us to see or hear, we simply package it up, laugh it off and hope that it does not penetrate in any way. I tried last year to not put negative snark out there. I slipped but for the most part it did make my snarkometer for myself go down and my intolerance of dealing with snark go up.
peace,
E-
I like that term “snarkometer” – good to have some way of checking ourselves when we get too negative!
I’m working on cutting out the snark in my life. I’ll admit that I used it as a defense mechanism. But as I mature I see that it very often makes people uncomfortable and resentful. That was never my intention. It’s a hard habit to break, but I’m already feeling much lighter. All that negativity is a heavy load.
Read my latest blog post…A Community Divided- Why Do Black People Find So Many Ways to Separate Ourselves
I admire your capacity for self-reflection, Kimberly. I do think that if more people actually stopped to ask ourselves WHY we do or say certain things – and whether or not it serves us or brings us joy – we might have way less negativity in our lives. It is SUCH a heavy load and I think at some level, we’ve all been there.
Rosetta, snark serves no purpose outside of the integral desire of the one being snarky’s need for control. Negative people (generally speaking) having very little control over their lives. Their relationships or lack there of are in the can. Their children aren’t living up to the potential EVERY parent sees in the eyes of their child. And the snarks aren’t where they won’t to be in life, either.
The only control (or SENSE of control) they have is throwing out this negativity and waiting around to see who’ll take the bait. They feed off this stuff! I’ve found out the hard way – NO ONE WILL DRAG ME DOWN TO A LEVEL I DON’T WISH TO BE ON.
Once the snark finds out they can’t get a “rise” out of you. Defeat is the only option. So, they retreat back into their fragile shell taking their SNARKY COMMENTS AND LOADS OF NEGATIVITY WITH THEM!!!
Be Blessed, My brilliant sister!
Lots of food for thought about the control factor in being snarky. I’d never thought of it that way, but as I reflect, it makes total sense for people who have no other outlet for control to try to overpower others with their negativity. On the flip side, though, there are people that have been through (or are even going through) hell in their lives and somehow manage to influence and inspire others with their positivity and kind words. I wonder what makes the difference? Thanks for stopping by Roschelle – I always enjoy your insight!
Thoughtful post.
No, snark does not make us happy.
If anything it contributes to a general unhappiness that a person is feeling.
Being able to spew off a mean, cynical, yet funny remark takes constant practice. So while that snarky person is dishing it out, I guarantee that they are also giving themselves to just as well.
I know I use to be that snarky person. I felt I was being sophisticated and worldly at the time, but I began to see how cynicism was just apart of the overall negativity I viewed the world and myself. I finally started to ask myself – if as you say, nothing really changes, nothing really matters – then what does it matter if you decide to be happy? How does your being cheerful affect the world in any worse way then you being cynical?
Since then I have worked on changing my negative thought patterns which has cut back significantly on my snarky comments. Mastering your thoughts is HARD work, but I say definitely worth it.
(Can I also add, that I think that snarky/cynicism is the type of humor that is deemed appropriate in this time and period right now. I think its popularity encourages people to hone their snarkiness.)
I have also noticed the widespread popularity of snarky humor. Online, it seems like a lot of people take pride in trying to “outsnark” each other. In the end, I think you’re totally right about it contributing to an overall negative view of the world and our role in it. Thanks for the great comment!