I’m learning a lot of lessons so far from embarking on my summer self-care plan. Are you? Thanks to My Fitness Pal, I’m seeing that I rarely get enough calories during the day, I don’t drink nearly enough water and I still eat too much sugar (although I know my intake has gone WAY down from what it was).
What I’m also realizing is that taking care of yourself takes LOTS of time. Cooking, cleaning, grooming, exercising and sleeping take hours to do, even at the most minimal level. I mean, just the basic act of going to the grocery store and buying fresh pears to snack on instead of Oreos requires a certain amount of time. When you add in work, family and a social/love life, the hours dwindle even further. And when you pile on writing, reading, listening to music, travel and attending cultural/literary events (my entertainment activities of choice), you’re pretty much out of time.
What does this mean? It’s tempting to say that because we have only 24 hours given to us each day, it means that there’s simply not enough time to do everything. But if we’re really honest with ourselves, we can see that we actually plenty of time to do what we want to do. There’s just NO time to waste doing the things we don’t want to do.
Specifically, it means that:
You don’t have time for negativity.
If you’re truly striving for happiness and self-improvement, there’s no room for you to engage in gossip, petty arguments or drama. Just run the numbers. There are just not enough hours in the day to worry about what other people are doing if you’re busy doing what makes you happy.
Ultimately, you really only have two choices: either maximize your time by focusing on the positive or waste your time by dwelling on the negative. Every day, you get to decide which one it’s gonna be.
If you want to be happy, you must be very intentional about how you spend your time.
Happiness is a choice that only YOU can control. And the truth is that we are most happy when we are engaging in activities we enjoy and spending time with the people we love, all of which require…time. On top of the fact that most of us have to work in some capacity, which also takes a lot of time – at least eight hours a day if you have a traditional 9 to 5. So if you don’t like your job, strive to spend as little time there as possible. Or, find a way to get paid to do what you love.
No matter what you do career-wise though, it’s important to make room for what really matters and cut out everything that doesn’t. For instance, if family really matters to you, spend more time with them and less time watching mindless reality TV.
How you spend your time is a direct reflection of how much you love yourself.
I can’t even believe I just wrote that, even though I know it to be 100% true in my life. Right this very moment, I’m calling myself out on all the time I spend procrastinating on writing (which is something I say I love), returning emails (for work that I say I would be honored to get to do) and exercising (which I know is good for my mind, body and overall health).
Just like you, however, I am on a constant journey to greater self-love, of learning and relearning that I deserve to be happy, healthy and whole. When I am not confident in that truth, I procrastinate. I block my blessings. I don’t take advantage of the opportunities the universe has put before me. But when I’m able to stay in my power? My productivity shoots through the roof. I use my time in a way that honors my right to be a happy black woman.
How are YOU spending your time?
Rosetta,
I appreciate this so much because I spend my time wasting time. I’m always saying to myself “I want to spend more time with family” or “I want to meet new people” but find myself sitting on the couch and doing the complete opposite of what I said I wanted to do. Thank for the motivation to get out there and put my words into action.
I remembered reading this post last month and I came back to it because I am about to embark on a week long hiatus from social media. I waste so much time on it and it has become mentally draining. The last few weeks have been especially non productive. So I will take a week to get back to what is important to me and focus on my business and self-care. I am working on purging my profile of pages that focus on celebrities and gossip. I am also getting rid of negative people. When I return to social media, I will have a very deliberate plan for using it mostly to grow my business. It’s so strange how I just suddenly reached this turning point and all of these things that I tolerated (my coach will love that I used that word) are falling away. Thank you for this post! I think I will share it as my “signing off” message on Friday:)
Thank you!!! For years I neglected so many things that were essential to my physical and emotional health: exercising, grocery shopping etc…I’ve finally gotten to the place that I acknowledge that self-care is as important or more important than the foolishness that I was wasting my time on. I’ve found that scheduling these things into my calendar like I would anything else is what keep me on task
I sooo agree with you, Rosetta. Excellent points!
I’ve been called selfish when I’ve chosen to embrace the self-care I need rather than be at another’s beck and call. Not to mention, how many times can someone waste your time before enough is enough. If I don’t cherish self-care and protect my time no one will, this I know for sure.
In my 20s, I spent my time doing anything and everything! Seriously, I called myself the Jack of All Trades, but the Master of None. I took bellydancing, cooking, tennis, and fitness classes. I was always out and about — out to lunch, to the museums, to the beach, wherever, I was there.
Now, I’m trying to break myself out of this habit. I’m realizing that spreading myself thin isn’t getting me closer towards my goals. As I do that, I am also learning to enjoy who I am and where I am at the present moment. It’s been an eye opening experience.
Thanks for the post.
PS — I love MyFitnessPal. I’m always so obsessed with calories, that I neglect to check the sugar intake. Thanks for the reminder!!
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Rosetta,
You hit the nail on the head with this one!
I know for me personally, I’ve really cut back on watching tv this year because its so distracting. I can report that since I’ve been doing this, I’ve managed to develop a habit to do yoga, and meditate first in the morning to get my day started right.
I’m also constantly trying to find ways (and stick to them) to maximize my productivity after a 9-5 day. It’s challenging but just like you said, it’s important to make time for the things that matter. Just gotta keep trying until!
I spend most of my time parenting…I enjoy teaching my kids about life. I love being a mother! I spend time reading too. I love reading books that challenge me to become the best me possible. Reading has helped me reach new heights in my life. I am much happier, more confident, bold and whole.
That’s amazing that you’ve structured your life to be able to do that. I’m not a mama, but I often hear moms complain about not being able to spend enough time with their kids.
Awesome, though-provoking post!
Thanks for reading, Tameka!