If You Ask me, I’m Ready

First off, my teeny weeny afro is growing. And that makes me pretty damn happy.

So I was presenting at a conference in Denver last weekend when I ran into someone I hadn’t talked to in a while. Even with all my Facebook, Twitter and blog updates I had posted about the breakup, he had the nerve to ask me, “how’s the rocket scientist?” My first reaction was to cuss him out right there in the lobby. He was seriously disturbing my happy. But he’s a good guy. And he really didn’t know what had happened. So I took a deep breath and simply said, “Oh him? He didn’t work out.” And I realized that that’s pretty much my feeling about the whole situation now. Now that I’ve had some time and space to get some perspective, that is. For a little while, it was hard not to believe that my new natural hair would make me less lovable, the rocket scientist being only the first casualty.

But then I met The Republican. Then the 23 year old. And I remembered that there will always be men. Now I’m just meeting the kind of men that don’t give a damn about my hair.  Both of my last beaus were one date wonders, though. They never made it to the second date, and I really didn’t want them to. I was just dipping my toe back into the water, trying to see what it’s like to date again after getting my heart broken. For me, it was an important part of my healing process. Would I be bitter? Would I see the rocket scientist’s face as each new man leaned in to kiss me goodnight? I wasn’t and I didn’t. And three months later, I’m singing right along with Alicia Keys’ new song, Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready).

The lyrics are really about taking the next step in a relationship, which is quite fitting for me right now in and of itself. But for me, it’s also about taking the next step in life. It’s about putting yourself out there and taking risks to pursue the life you want – whether it’s a new man, moving to a new place, or starting up an entirely new career. In many areas of my life, I’ve been following these rules that initially scare the shit out of me, but usually end up bringing me happiness.

Just Do It

Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually?
If we gon’ do something ’bout it
We should do it right now

That’s how I felt when late last year, I decided to quit my job to work for myself. I didn’t want to keep wasting time wondering if I could “make it on my own.” There was only one way to find out, right? You can keep talking about following your dreams or even just taking the first step to living a more fulfilling life…for years. But it’s not until the moment when you decide to just do it that you figure out how much better life could be. I could have waited until I got all my ducks in a row, until the economy improved, etc. But then I might never have made that leap. The best time is always now. Right now.

Take the Lead

Moment of honesty
Someone’s gotta take the lead tonight
Who’s it gonna be?

It felt like deja-vu when I signed up for eHarmony a month ago. I was like, didn’t I just do this a year ago? Sure, I met a great guy, but look what happened in the end. But then, you got to put out some bait if you want any fish, right? I could wait until the cute loc’d dude on the Metro asks for my number or until my Twitter crush realizes I like him…or take a proactive step and join the online dating world again and maybe hit another home run. (I know, I *could* just as easily strike up a convo with Metro dude or Twitter crush…but I can’t read their profiles to know if they’re married or gay or like girls with natural hair. I prefer to take the safer route. Sue me.) So that’s how I met The Law Student. He’s one reason I’m patting myself on the back that I took the lead with my dating profiles to keep my love life, well alive. Here’s a Twitter history of our first four dates:

Don’t Worry About the Outcome

If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
Or would it be so beautiful either way I’m sayin’
If you ask me I’m ready

In my career and my love life, I’m trying not to be so wedded to the idea of success. People are so concerned with things “working out.” If I learn something from the experience, if I’ve tried something new, that’s success to me. It’s when I don’t try at all that I feel like a failure. There’s always a possibility that I won’t get any clients for the next three months or not get any dates for the next year. Whatever. I try not to think about what will happen once I do something new. I’m ready for whatever outcome grows out of my decisions. Am I hoping they’ll be positive? Hell yes. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the hoping is what will make them so.

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