Uncertainty: A Review of February 2012

This year, I am being more intentional about reflecting on my life and work. How else will I know if I’m making progress on the goals, dreams and opportunities I have for myself?

I loved doing my annual review of 2011 (here are the questions I used for that), so now I’ve committed to doing a review of each month of the year as well. Here, I present a brief review of the second month of 2012, starting with a word that captures the essence how I spent the month of February: UNCERTAINTY.

But first, I’ll preface by sharing some of what did happen, for certain, last month. It was very heavy on doing the work.

• I visited Miami, Modesto, California and Biloxi, Mississippi for speaking engagements. My hosts were so gracious and generous in sharing their community with me. I had the amazing opportunity to present my favorite workshop, “How to Develop a Personal Mission Statement to Guide Your Life” in Biloxi for a group of women of color. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking: now THIS is the work I wake up to do. (I’m thinking of teaching my personal mission statement workshop online so I can reach many more women – and maybe my life mapping one, too - so let me know if you or your group would be interested in taking one with me!)
• I worked with several new personal and business coaching clients. Most of our work together was around gaining clarity on their personal/business goals and aligning their life/online presence with that vision.
• I got an iPhone! And immediately became more productive in all areas of my life.
• I attracted four new speaking clients. I’m excited to visit several new cities in the next few months!
• I re-launched The Blogging School, my 4-week online training course to help bloggers build their brands, create great content, generate traffic and monetize their expertise. The course begins on March 5. I invite you to join us

Last month, I asked the universe for clarity in several areas of my life, especially around finances and where my lifestyle and business will take me this spring. Instead of answers, what I got in February was just more questions. Which, I suppose is simply an opportunity to gain clarity. But all I kept thinking throughout the month was: I don’t know.

I don’t know where I’m moving to next. I love my living situation in Baltimore, but I want to continue to explore other places as much as possible.

I don’t know exactly what my speaking schedule will look like this spring/summer yet. New events and opportunities keep coming up that impact my ability to make definitive plans for where I live.

I don’t know if I want to keep dating the man I’ve been seeing once I leave Baltimore. What does it look like to cultivate and maintain romantic relationships when I’m always on the move?

I don’t know. It’s a challenging place to be. But it is also a gift. I have always liked being able to control everything in my life, which has made me a bit rigid and stubborn in the past. Now, I get the opportunity to work through those terrifying feelings of being out of control and learn how to embrace the unknown.

Part of me feels like it’s a game I’m playing with myself. How long can I live this lifestyle before I drive my ego completely insane? My ego wants to be right, it wants to know. And right now that isn’t possible. But maybe – just maybe – the control I thought I had in my life was all an illusion in the first place. Maybe now I’m just now opening my eyes to the reality that was there all along.

Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security. – John Allen Paulos

Robert Glasper’s new album is the perfect soundtrack for my life right now. It’s serving as a lovely companion to the uncertainty of romance, work and travel.

• Robert Glasper - Gonna Be Alright (F.T.B) Feat. Ledisi 
• Robert Glasper – Why Do We Try Feat. Stokley Williams
• Robert Glasper – Consequence Of Jealousy Feat. Meshell Ndegeocello

It’s gonna be alright, I know it’s gonna be OK.

The other night, it was raining in Baltimore. The thunder was rumbling through the sky, down the streets and into the walls of the townhouse where I’m staying. It was then that I found out that the two big dogs that live here are afraid of the rain. They sat whining at my bedroom door with every strike of thunder, every drop of rain at the window. It was a long night for all three of us.

I’m not perfect, but my aim is true.

All of a sudden, it hit me.

If these two big, beautiful dogs can be scared to death of a little rain and thunder, surely it’s OK for me to be anxious about the future. While I know that it won’t look like the past, I am open to the possibility that it will involve lessons I need to learn in my journey of personal growth.

Farewell, February.

Thank you for the challenges you brought into my life, the triggers that showed up for me to work through, the romance you placed softly into my arms and the great work you allowed me to do in service to others.

Hello, March.

What I want to experience in March 2012 is continued productivity, especially in my writing (I’m “working” on a new book) and in my business (especially the speaking aspect of my work).

What ONE word would you use to describe your experience of February 2012? What do you want to experience in March 2012?

If you choose to answer this question as part of a review on your own blog, please go ahead and post the link in the comments so we can read it! I would love to hear how your year is progressing so far.

If you want to join the March 2012 edition of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge, you may do so here. As soon as you sign up, you will receive the first assignment in the program!

And, in case you missed them, here are all 6 posts I wrote on the blog last month. Thank you, as always, for reading and sharing.

• Connection: A Review of January 2012
• The Danger of Comparison Confidence
• How I Travel: The Basics
• Right Now
• On Getting an iPhone and Using Technology as a Tool to Support My Ideal Life
• How to Start a Side Hustle: Two Basic Tools to Start Earning Money from Your Passion

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