When I was in college, my car got repossessed. As in, one minute I had a car and the next minute I didn’t.
What had happened was . . . my mom had been paying my car note and, unbeknownst to me, had fallen on hard times and stopped making the payments. (This was about 10 years ago, way before she got a fancy MBA degree and her own business.)
Anyway, one weekend I went to visit mom and the repo man came and got my beautiful blue Toyota Corolla right from the parking lot of her building.
At the time, it was devastating. Embarassing, even.
I had been saving up for a study abroad trip to Greece led by my poetry professor and mentor. My grandfather had also given me some money to help me travel there. I was already working three jobs to pay for my off-campus apartment and all my other expenses. I could not afford to get a new car AND still be able to pay for the trip to Greece.
At the time, it seemed like I had no other choice.
I remember taking out all the savings I had at the time – about $3,000 – to buy a beat-up old red Saturn to replace my beloved Toyota. I went to the bank to get it all in cash, which is what the seller had asked for in the classified ad.
I handed over all those hundred dollar bills in quiet resignation, wondering if having my own ride was worth the pain of not being able to visit one of my dream destinations. I also wondered if I would ever get that chance again.
To this day, I wish I had gone to Greece instead of buying that damn car.
The thing is, I could’ve made do without a car. My fellow students were doing it everyday. They were the ones bumming rides off of me! I could’ve learned to take the bus, used the university shuttle, or rode with friends.
But somehow, I got it into my head that my only choice was to replace the car that had been taken from me. I thought I needed my own car to be OK, to be able to get to all of my jobs and not have to depend on other means.
That is just one (of many) choices in my life that I wish I had approached differently. I suspect that the way I am choosing to live now (and my plan to travel abroad later this year) is being subconsciously influenced by the perceived mistake I made in the past of placing more value on things vs. experiences.
You probably have your own story like this. Maybe not of your car getting repossessed, but of a choice you made in the past that you would likely do-over if you got the chance. Maybe you think about it every once in a while (or all the time) – how your life would be different if you had just taken that other fork in the road.
But of course, the only thing that matters is the way you choose to live your life now.
The choices we made in the past are part of our history but the choices we make now will be part of our future.
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Great post. I didn’t have a car in college and made do just well. My mom said “it builds character” and in hindsight, it totally did. I also traveled to Africa and Spain so I guess I did the total opposite of your experience. Looking back, it would’ve been easier to have had a car (I was in Pittsburg and the icey trips to the grocery store on the bus were no fun at all) but I’m happy I didn’t have it because of parking, maintanence, gas and payments.
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My car was illegally repossessed 1 year ago and I, too, was depending on my father to help out a bit (which is unlike me since I do everything on my own). It caused me lots of angst and, every once in a while, still does because the shady bank is probably still looking for payoff money. But I don’t have it, so the bank can try taking money out of a negative bank account if it wants. (The same goes for Sallie Mae and all of the rest.) *shrugs* I recently decided that I can’t control everything and, therefore, must take care of myself, relax more, and know that no one can take care of my business but ME. It has helped me quite a bit.
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When I look at problem decisions in the past, I look at them in terms of understanding the root of that problematic decision making…For instance, Was I not used to being fully independent and happy on my own and was that why I attached myself to other needy insecure people? And, why was I unfulfilled in the first place? And, the goodie- And , what do I have to do differently/ think differently/ be differently in order to change that about myself? This way I zone in on the source of my bad decisions and can change that so more don’t pop up. I believe we have to have a lot of compassion with ourselves. We’re all born into dysfunction one way or another. And, we’re all taking on the responsibility of making our worlds better by experiencing pain and learning how not to experience that pain again. Then, we gain wisdom and share. Thanks for sharing.
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I can relate to this story. When my husband and I first married, somehow we got it into our head that we needed a big apartment. It was just the two of us, and a studio would have been fine (heck, staying with one of our parent would have been fine), but instead we rented an apartment that was more than we can pay for and decided to leave it in 6months.
If I knew then what I know now, we would have approached our first apartment differently, and saved some serious money.
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I can relate to this story in many ways – but my lesson from it was quite different. There was a time in my life when I was always waiting to get the disconnection notice or intent to reposses notice before I would pay a bill. I was always robbing Peter to pay Paul. I’ve had my electricity cut off, water cut off, you name it. But it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own.
To relate all of that back to your post, I did learn from that phase of my life that I could manage with much less than I thought. It’s too bad that I had to learn that lesson because of my own lack of responsibility. But, as long as I learned it, that’s what matters.
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Hey GG! Always love seeing you here
It’s a great lesson to learn that you don’t really need as much as you thought. I am learning that one now.
The same thing happened to me last year, my car was repossessed and I didnt know my parents stopped making the payments. I am still trying to get over that situation because it seems so hard to depend on others because I haven’t had to do that before. Thank you for sharing your story.
Really appreciate you reading + sharing your experience. I hope you’re able to resolve your situation. Sometimes though, I think we purposely get put into certain situations in life to relearn how to depend on each other. We’ve become so focused on being self-sufficient that it’s easy to forget that we’re all connected.