What to Do When You Forget

Don't Forget

I’ve been practicing communicating my feelings and needs as part of my journey to do everything in love.

Some days, I am able to summon up the courage to put it all out there and say what I feel to get what I need. Even if/when the person doesn’t respond the way I want them to, I feel good that I’ve said what I needed to. When I tell my truth, I get what I want more often than not.

Other times, I stumble my way through words and emotions and the words that give meaning to those emotions. Sometimes it gets “too hard,” and I let fear take over. I default to what I know, which can be anything from using manipulative language, blaming the other person for not meeting my needs or just straight giving up. That’s when it all goes downhill for me and whoever I’m in relationship with.

What are you supposed to do when you forget? What happens after you take actions that are out of alignment with your values and intentions?

I used to think that you were supposed to fix it. Or at least, try to. You smooth things over and maybe bake a cake.

Today, though, I am meditating on wisdom from Mark Nepo (I read his daily essays from The Book of Awakening):

Inhale and try again.

Start with your best self and go from there. It sounds so simple, but it’s not.

Every day we have to walk the path.

And if you think it ever gets any easier, you’re in for a rude awakening.

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5 comments

  1. Pingback: Connection: A Review of January 2012 | Happy Black Woman | Helping Women Design Their Ideal Lives

  2. Every day is a challenge and a struggle. We always have to remind ourselves of our goals, and our purpose. Also, what our values are. I agree with Gwendolyn, when we do forget (because it will happen), the sooner we can forgive ourselves the better off we’ll be.
    Read my latest blog post…Sunday Prayer: Struggles

  3. Agreed! It doesn’t get any easier. We just recognize that we forgot something sooner, get back on track sooner, and forgive ourselves sooner. Then we don’t waste time reliving what cannot be changed. We don’t waste energy on guilt or regret. We just move on with renewed determination to improve ourselves daily.

    • Yes, we are able to see the signals to get back on track sooner. Perhaps in that way the journey does not get easier, but it does get more familiar.

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