It’s been a week since I started the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge, a personal development opportunity for you to “reset” your life and begin your transformation for 2011 before the new year sneaks up on you. The challenge involves daily “assignments” – self-reflection and goal-setting exercises designed to help you get your life back on track in ways that will benefit you in your life, love and business.
We started out with over 100 women signed up to participate in the challenge, excited and ready to go. I was quite honestly overwhelmed by the response. I never expected this many people to be interested in something like this. But what I did expect was for many of the initial participants to fall off after a few days. After having hosted an online challenge before on one of my other blogs, I knew how hard it was to sustain a daily commitment from people who never see you in person.
Many of you are ROCKING this challenge and inspiring the hell out of me along the way. Some of you are in the process of catching up with us from the last seven days. Some of you are even “silent participants.” That’s all fine and good. I’m glad you’re here. But some of you are actually struggling right now to push through the assignments and commit fully to the challenge.
What you’re experiencing is called resistance. And this post is for you.
What resistance is and why it’s affecting you
Resistance can be defined as the act of resisting or pushing back. It’s also a psychological defense mechanism wherein a patient rejects, denies, or otherwise opposes the therapeutic efforts of a psychotherapist. In physics, resistance is also related to friction, the force that opposes motion. Another scientific term for it is drag, fluid or gas forces opposing motion and flow.
In a nutshell, the resistance is what stops you in your tracks and keeps you from moving forward.
When you’re in the clutches of the resistance, you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to resent the process. You feel yourself wanting to give up and throw in the towel.
But in reality, the resistance is simply a signal that you’re going somewhere. You’re in motion and moving toward higher ground. When you feel the resistance, that’s when you know you’re next in line for a miracle.
I can tell you this because in my own life, I’m dealing with some strong resistance right now regarding my relationship with Black Socrates. In the midst of learning each other and dealing with the stress of maintaining long-distance communication, I begin to ask myself: why am I doing this? Is this person “worth” all this extra time I’m spending? Are my efforts going to pay off in some way that will benefit me in the long run? And what if I get hurt?
The inconvenient truth is that there’s no way to ever know the answer to any of these questions. There’s no way to know the exact outcome. There’s no way to be certain about what will happen, the good or the bad. Therefore, the best thing is to assume the good and operate accordingly.
I wanted to share this with you today because I know you may be going through the same thing. Not just in this challenge, but in your life as well. You may be feeling some resistance in completing the exercises we’ve done so far, and that’s OK. It’s normal to feel a bit overwhelmed by the new revelations that are coming into your consciousness. It’s normal to feel resistance at this point.
What I want you to do though, is to keep going anyway. Because anyone who’s ever accomplished anything in life has had to push through the fear and the resistance to get to the good stuff on the other side.
And I want to see you there.
How do these ideas resonate with you? Are you experiencing resistance right now in the challenge or in any other area of your life? How will you make sure you keep moving forward?
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I’m feeling resistence with this challenge because questions are being ask that I was not prepared to answer. I have a lot of self discovery to make but I like to push them to the back of my mind. This challenge reminds me of my old therapy sessions. Forcing me to acknowledge the “elephant” in the room. It’s uncomfortable but sometimes being uncomfortable is necessary.
OH man you were dead on with this one. I find myself doing two three assignments a day to catch up. I am experiencing soooo much resistance in my life right now. Its definitely gotten a lot harder as the end of the year approaches. Right now i feel as if God sent a whirlwind my way but I’m pushing through. The fact that its gotten this difficult has to mean that better is on its way so I welcome it. Thank you so much for the encouragement. Seriously Thank You.
I welcome this challenge, like many of you, it’s come at the perfect time in my life. My resistance is less with completing the exercises, but more with sharing publicly some of my responses. It’s a cycle. I dread opening up publicly, therefore I don’t write them. But I will push past that by remembering that no one is perfect that that no one should demand perfection from me. I will develop a mantra to recite when I feel resistance. “I am committed to living my best life now and growth may be uncomfortable, but these experiences will carry me closer to my goals.”
Of course, you shouldn’t feel like you have to share everything publicly
Your personal growth can happen without you blogging about it if you don’t want to. As long as it’s happening!
I am definitely feeling resistance with this challenge and in my life right now. I guess it’s mostly due to a fear of failure. Thanks for posting this. I just need to push through and remember my quote from Day 1 of the challenge was “I choose to LIVE.”
I did felt a little overwhelmed but this challenge was much needed. I am glad I can across it and at this time in my life.
Although I am not feeling resistance with the challenge I am definitely struggling with a great deal of resistance in my life right now. I am a very independent and self sufficient person. I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer at 26 and that has drastically changed my life. I am now faced with needing help from others in every aspect of my life and it is hard. I do not like asking for help and I am resisting so much! I could be feeling horrible and you will still find me taking care of our 5 month old, or cooking, or cleaning and I can not stand when people tell me not too. I journaled about this when I saw this post this morning and realized its because I know I will do things the way I want them done, I know I will not let myself down. I hate disappointment if I do it myself I will not be disappointed so as a result…I resist the help and support of others.
April, I’m so glad you’re with us. The first thing I thought when I first read your comment this morning was that perhaps asking for help reminds you of your own limitations? I say that because I have a big problem with asking for help as well and I think it’s because I have this story I tell myself that I’m a superwoman who can do it all. Lately though, I’ve been seeking to be more gracious with those who offer help. I try to think of it as an opportunity to let people participate more fully in my life. Wishing peace for you
That was so right on time for me. I wanted to throw in the towel yesterday when thinking about my life’s narrative. I thought who was I to want these things and actually vocalize it. How dare me for having the balls to think I deserve to get what I want in life. Its a very scary thing. I’m also facing resistance in other parts of my life as well. It gets very frustrating and hard but I’m learning to push through. Thanks for this!!
I feel the exact same way as you do, isn’t it a scary thing?
You hit the nail right on the head with that one. I almost didn’t want to do yesterday’s challenge because I felt almost uncomfortable envisioning all that good in my life all at once. As if me writing down those words was wrong of me to do. Pushing through it and getting it done, however, made me realize that not only do I deserve those things but that with a plan and perserverance I can OBTAIN those things.