“I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.” – Dawna Markova
I’m writing this from a week-long writing retreat in Catalonia, Spain, digging deep into the manuscript for my third book!
During my time here at the writing retreat, I’ve been reflecting and journaling about my journey to get here.
And by “here,” I don’t mean physically in the country of Spain.
I mean ‘here,” mindset-wise.
I am in a totally different place mentally than I was 5 years ago, when I went on my first month-long trip to Europe.
That trip completely changed my life and shifted my perspective on what was truly possible for me.
Now it didn’t take a lot of money for me to fulfill my travel dreams, but it DID require a major mindset shift.
More specifically, it took a DECISION.
I literally just DECIDED to change my reality.
I decided to let go of the limiting beliefs of fear and lack that I grew up with.
As a little girl, I saw how the women around me compromised and settled for less than they deserved. Even back then, I knew that I didn’t want to live my life that way.
Instead, I chose to become the kind of woman who gets what she wants, no matter what.
If you’re truly ready to stop “wishing” and actually start living your dream life, you will have to completely reprogram the way you think, speak and act.
The following strategies may help you on your journey.
1. Stop Saying “I Wish I Could Do That”
Whenever I tell people about the way I live my life, I often get this wistful response: “I wish I could do that…” This phrase comes up a lot in our Happy Black Woman tribe and the truth is, this phrase is holding you back from reaching your highest potential for happiness, success and freedom. That’s because when you say “I wish I could do that,” you are reinforcing the limiting belief that you CAN’T. Which doesn’t exactly help you when it comes to getting what you want! These days, you will never hear the words “I wish” come out of my mouth. If I decide I want to do something, I just start brainstorming HOW I can make it happen. And then I take action. You have to take ACTION for your wishes to come true. So instead of sabotaging your success by saying “I wish I could do that…” you can shift to empowering yourself by asking “HOW could I do that?”
2. Stop Running from Your Purpose
If you truly want to live the life you keep fantasizing about on your vision board, you have to stop distracting yourself by doing everything except the thing you REALLY want to do. This means you have to be done wasting time on other ventures, other ideas, other jobs, other businesses. It takes time to reach your big goal. Success doesn’t happen overnight. But you will get there so much faster if you start TODAY. Give yourself permission to create the life you truly want to live instead of SETTLING for the life that seems “easier” to build right now.
Read: How I Found My Purpose
3. Stop Letting Fear Paralyze You
Over the past 9 years, I’ve built two different businesses, lived in over dozen different cities and experienced several different romantic relationships. Although I’ve enjoyed a lot of success in my journey, I’ve also had my share of failure along the way. Every time I try something new in my personal or professional life, there’s a risk that it won’t “work out.” But what I’ve discovered is the real risk is not in failing…it’s in NOT TRYING at all. The real risk is in never knowing what your life could be like if only you took a chance on yourself. In life, you win some and you lose some. But no matter what happens on the way to your destination, the journey will ALWAYS be worth it. The mistakes you make and the heartache you endure may be painful, but the lessons you learn from it all are what make life interesting, rich and meaningful. Choose to have a FULL life instead of one that is limited by fear. Trust yourself. You can handle whatever comes your way.
4. Stop Settling for a Normal Life
You’re a part of my tribe because deep in your heart, you know that you were made for SO MUCH MORE. Just imagine… what could your life look like if you simply started ACTING like it? Your life, your business, your relationships, your career, your health – all of it could change drastically once you realize that you don’t have to settle for a “normal” life. You don’t have to just keep “going through the motions” and blindly accept that this is how your life is supposed to be. You can absolutely walk in your purpose, honor your calling and manifest the big vision you have been given for your life. All you have to do is DECIDE that from now on – starting today – things will be different. Be determined to walk by FAITH because if you just refuse to give up, you will live to see the truth that the journey was so worth it.
5. Stop Thinking You Have “All the Time in the World”
It’s so easy to procrastinate and tell yourself that “someday” you will pursue your big dreams, goals and desires. But tomorrow is not promised to any one of us, no matter how much we try to trick ourselves into believing that it is. Look around and you will see how many people spend more time “getting ready” to live than they do actually living their ideal lives. We often spend our time playing it safe instead of doing exactly what we want to do. But what if you were more conscious of the fact that you’re going to die soon? The reality is that for all of us, there will be one day that tomorrow will not come. Looking at the big picture, you can see that you have a limited amount of time to accomplish and experience the things you desire. So stop putting off your dreams until “someday.” Don’t you deserve to be happy TODAY?
The good news is that you don’t need to have all the answers right now. All you have to do is DECIDE that you’re no longer willing to stay in the same place. You just have to DECIDE that you deserve to live your dream life – NOW, not “later.”
Leave a comment: What will you have to stop doing in order to live your dream life?
P.S. You only have ONE WEEK LEFT to take advantage of early-bird pricing for the Happy Black Woman Summer Camp – an all-inclusive, overnight adult camp designed specifically for black women who want to experience more joy, purpose and meaning in their lives.
If you’ve been feeling like you need a break to recharge and get back to YOU, I invite you to join us August 3-6, 2017 in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina! Give yourself permission to unplug for four days of self-care, play, creativity and sisterhood to help you find your way back home.
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