The Destructive Cycle of Playing Small

One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.

paulo coelho

There are so many reasons why, as Black women, we tend to play small in our lives and businesses.

And by “playing small,” I mean all those times that we dim our light, downplay our gifts and shrink to make other people feel comfortable.

We are taught to “be humble.”

We are taught not to be “too loud.”

We are taught, essentially, not to be too much, not to get too big, not to become too successful.

Or else…what?

We won’t be liked?

We won’t receive love?

We won’t be accepted?

I remember an ex-boyfriend of mine telling me that he wished I was more of a “plain Jane” and not always “doing so much” all the time.

This was over a decade ago, when I was literally just getting started in my career. But even then, he couldn’t handle my light.

It was in that moment I chose not to believe that having a man was more important than walking in my purpose and following my dreams.

I vowed that I would always choose ME over everything.

You’re probably here in my tribe because deep down, you know that playing small just so you will be liked, loved and accepted is a losing game.

Because if people can’t deal with who you really are, then they shouldn’t be in your life anyway!

At the end of the day, you will only feel resentment towards the people in your life who you perceive are trying to hold you back.

Because you know you’re capable of so much more.

Yet you keep letting yourself down.

You keep sabotaging your success.

You keep saying NO to your desires.

You keep delaying your happiness.

You keep stopping yourself from taking the leap.

And that’s the real betrayal.

“They” can talk about you behind your back.

“She” can stop being friends with you.

“He” could leave you.

But what happens when YOU leave you?

You literally have nothing left.

Your real self goes to sleep and your soul suffers.

So how do you stop this destructive cycle of playing small?

First, you must release the belief that it’s even possible for you to be “too” anything.

You have been given the gifts, talents, skills, ideas and desires that are inside of you for a reason!

No one outside of you could ever comprehend your FULL potential.

No one but you and God know what you are TRULY capable of.

That’s why you can’t be worried about what other people think!

It’s up to you to step into the truth that you were meant to be, do and have MORE than you are currently experiencing now.

It’s time to transform your mindset and get out of your own way so that you can fulfill your purpose and finally become the woman you were meant to be.

It’s time to stop settling for a “normal” life and give yourself permission to have it ALL.

No longer do you have to be held back by the limiting beliefs that you’ve been taught.

You can DECIDE – right here and right now – to have a different life.

And when you do that – when you act from courage instead of fear?

That’s when you will inspire so many others to do the same.