”It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” – Eckhart Tolle
I hesitated in writing this post for a long time because I didn’t want anyone to take it the wrong way. But honestly, if you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that my intention is for everything I say to come from a place of love and service. That said, I felt so compelled to ask this particular question today because I’ve been having conversations with many sisters who struggle with self-sabotage in various ways. For black women in particular, our religious or spiritual beliefs often play a huge part in our decision-making . . . or lack thereof. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard ladies say things like:
- “I know I need to change my life, but I’m just waiting on God to show me what to do.”
- Or: “I want to accomplish XYZ, and I’m leaving it up to the Lord to tell me when it’s time for me to take the first step toward my goal.”
- This one’s my favorite: “There’s nothing I want more than a fulfilling romantic relationship, so I’m just gonna sit in the house and wait for God to send a good man to knock on my door and sweep me off my feet.”
If we’re honest with ourselves, we can admit that for the most part, we already know exactly what we need to do next in our lives. God has given us so much power and knowledge as human beings. 99.9% of the time, we don’t need any more advice. We just need to take action. But the thing is, even when these ladies do actually receive a sign or a gut feeling telling them exactly what to do, they freeze up.
They don’t take any action whatsoever, even when the universe is telling them that it’s time to make a move.
As it turns out, many women seem to be using the excuse that they are “waiting” on God as a socially acceptable phrase to mask the fear of actually moving forward and succeeding in life. I call BS.
The Paradox of Faith
As someone who very much believes in God and the divine order of the universe, I know how difficult it can be to discern whether you’re making decisions that are truly driven from a place of love or if you’re acting out of the familiar place of fear (which is the opposite of love). Do you want the truth, though? In any given situation, you will likely be called to take action before you have all the answers. You will need to step out on your faith even before you know what the outcome is going to be and despite what “real world” odds may be against you. This is the paradox of faith.
Fear is Not Faith
I believe that our faith journey is all about learning how to choose love over fear and fulfill our true purpose for being on this earth. If you believe this, and if you believe in the strength of your own infinite possibility, then you know that your steps will always be guided along the way. You know that you don’t need anyone else to validate you. Yet all too often, we still seek out that constant validation from others because we’re so afraid of getting it wrong. Or even worse, what people will think of us if we fail. But we have to remember that fear is not faith. Action is.
Put Your Faith Into Action
If you are a spiritual or religious person, you face the challenge of trying to listen to your faith, while at the same time navigating through the negative energy of what the rest of the world is doing. It can sometimes seem as if your options are limited because of all the doom and gloom talk about the economy or the supposedly sad state of affairs for black women looking for love. Of course, none of this is your concern. Your role is continue to pray or meditate or whatever practice you use to set an intention. Just don’t pray for opportunity if you’re not going to take it when it comes to you. Because it WILL come. And it will probably come much sooner than you think. That’s what happens when you start taking your purpose seriously. That’s what happens when you put your faith into action.
As you’ve probably figured out by now, my answer to the question that I posed in the title of this post is a resounding NO. God is not to blame for why you’re not succeeding in your life. You are. And it’s time to stop using your religious or spiritual beliefs as an excuse to play small. It’s time you finally began sharing your unique gifts with the world.
Have you been using your religious or spiritual beliefs as an excuse to procrastinate on living your ideal life? If so, what’s one thing you can do today to change that?