“In every crisis there is a message. Crises are nature’s way of forcing change–breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place.” – Susan L. Taylor
I’m writing this post from the plane, flying from San Diego to Richmond, VA for my cousin’s baby shower and then kicking off my 4-city “Create Your Ideal Life” Workshop Tour! I can’t wait to meet so many of you in person!
Earlier this week, I held our twice-monthly group coaching call for my Happy Black Woman Business Academy members. (The Academy is currently closed for enrollment, but we will be re-opening to new members soon. You can get on the waiting list here: happyblackwomanacademy.com)
What I love about these calls is that we get to dive deep into not only the business and marketing stuff, but also address the personal issues that come up for members along the way.
Just this week, I coached my Academy members and private clients on:
- How to keep serving my relationship coaching clients when I’m struggling in my marriage
- How to stay consistent with marketing my business when my daughter is having some serious emotional challenges right now
- How to juggle running my business and not lose steam while working a full-time job and being a single mother
This week, the common thread of my coaching, guidance and advice was:
It’s OK to be human.
Even though you’re supposed to be the leader, the expert, the chick who’s got it all together, the one everybody comes to for help…the truth is:
Things can be going great – your relationship is good, your kids are doing well in school, sales are coming in to your business, your curls are poppin’, you’re eating healthy and working out consistently, and then – BOOM.
Something goes wrong.
Something unexpected that throws a monkey wrench in your plans.
You get sick.
Your car breaks down.
Your kid gets into trouble.
You find out your man is cheating.
You get fired from your job.
Your grandmother dies.
All while you’re out here trying to market your business, get clients, make money and live your best life.
In those moments, it’s important to be kind and gentle with yourself.
Don’t you DARE blame yourself or beat yourself up for something that’s not even your fault!
First and foremost, remember – YOU ARE THE PRIORITY.
As an entrepreneur, you ARE the business.
That means you have to be in your right mind before you can run that business effectively and make good decisions on behalf of your clients, team, etc.
So you MUST take time for you. This is a non-negotiable.
If you don’t – if you just try to “push through” and “suck it up” and “put your big girl panties on,” then the situation will just get worse.
If you don’t allow yourself to feel your emotions, then they will just keep boiling up inside of you and at some point, you will explode.
Give yourself permission to cry.
Let yourself get angry about it.
Feel whatever it is you’re feeling.
You are not a man and you are not a robot, therefore you do not need to “man up” and act like nothing’s wrong.
What does this look like in real life?
- It could mean rescheduling meetings with clients. They will live, believe me.
- It could mean that you stop doing discovery calls with potential clients for a little while. It’s hard to attract quality clients with negative energy, anyway.
- It could mean that you cancel that event you were planning or that conference you were supposed to speak at.
- It could mean pressing the “pause” button on your business until you feel better, until things calm down, until you find another job.
- It could mean hiring someone to help out with childcare or cleaning the house so that you can free up your time to focus on addressing the immediate issues that are going on in your life.
- It could – and should – definitely mean that you find a therapist, counselor or spiritual advisor who can support you emotionally and spiritually during this time. Talking to friends and family is nice, but it’s best to have someone in your corner who is NEUTRAL. Someone who isn’t biased and whose judgment is not clouded by their relationship with you.
IT’S OK TO BE HUMAN.
Life happens to all of us and we all have to deal with it the best way we can when the time comes.
Just because you’re a leader and an expert and people look up to you for guidance and support doesn’t mean that you get to opt out of this thing called LIFE.
And yes, it’s messy.
But it’s also beautiful.
Because even in a crisis, life always has something to teach us.
P.S. If you want to be surrounded by a supportive group of like-minded women who are committed to their happiness and success, then I hope to see you on my “Create Your Ideal Life” workshop tour this month! Each event will include live Q&A.
Click the links below and register for a city near you: