We’ve been having some interesting discussions about money, men and childhood beliefs in our Happy Black Woman community.
In a nutshell, what you were taught as a child about money could be the very thing sabotaging your ability to take action on your big goals and dreams.
Tell me if you can relate…
When I was growing up as a little black girl in Ohio, I was taught that if I wanted to have a rich life, I would have to marry a rich man.
The women in my family – from mom to grandma to auntie – all seemed to believe that the key to wealth was not necessarily by creating my OWN success, but in landing a man who was already financially set and could take care of me.
At first, this philosophy made sense.
But as I got older, I became increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of focusing on “finding a rich husband.”
It all clicked for me 10 years ago when I was engaged to be married to a man who wanted me to be a stay-at-home wife.
As much as I loved him, I could not bring myself to sacrifice my career goals for the sake of a romantic relationship.
What I was brought up to believe has also been reinforced in conversations I’ve had with black women all over the country who talk about needing to find a “sugar daddy” or a “sponsor” or a “rich hubby” if they want to experience financial abundance and travel the world.
(Maybe you’ve been in some of these same conversations, too.)
I used to laugh and joke with the best of them until my business began to take off and I realized that I could earn more than enough of my OWN money to buy whatever I wanted for myself!
There was no need for me to wait for a knight in shining armor to save me.
There was no need for me to search for a rich hubby who could treat me to the good life.
I look back at those conversations with my fiancé years ago when I was thinking how easy it would be to let him take care of everything financially since I was honestly pretty broke at the time.
Back then, I was in grad school, working a full-time job AND working nights as a restaurant hostess, struggling to pay my rent, student loans and overall living expenses in Washington, DC.
Fast forward to 2015 and so far this year, I’ve earned more than four times my ex-fiancé’s annual income.
What Grandma taught me about money (and men) was wrong.
I was The One I had been waiting for all along.
As it turns out…
My financial freedom is, and always has been, in my own hands.
Leave me a comment: What were you taught as a child about money? Have those beliefs carried over to your adult life?