Are You Waiting for Permission to Live the Life You Really Want?

Stop waiting for permission

When I was growing up, there were two messages that were pretty strong in my family.

1. Finish school and go to college.


2. Get a good job.

My mom was raising me and my little sister on her own and we didn’t have a whole lot of money. But what my family DID have was high expectations for me.

And I worked very hard to not only meet, but exceed them.

I did finish school and go to college.

Then, I went on to grad school.

Then, I went on to build a great career in my field.

As I got older, however, many of my goals drifted away from the original vision that my family had for me.

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How to Make the Right Decision, Every Single Time

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Life Mapping workshop at the Happy Black Woman Hawaii Retreat!

“If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it’s moving you away from your goals.” – Brian Tracy

We had a great time at our Happy Black Woman Hawaii Retreat! It was a week full of learning, connection and FUN!

One of our wonderful attendees summed it up so beautifully in her blog post reflecting on the week-long experience:

“It all starts with a mindset. We have to be ready to receive. We have to stop limiting ourselves. There were two televisions in my suite and not once did one of them get turned on. I got so much work done in Hawaii because I was completely focused and I will keep that going while I’m here. I worked on my business and was able to have a fantastic time on the island. Good food, drinks, friendships, atmosphere … it was everything.”

One of the themes of our Hawaii retreat was the importance of getting clarity on what you really want and making decisions that support those goals. As bizarre as it sounds, we often make decisions that lead us in the complete OPPOSITE direction of our ideal lives!

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VIDEO: Love Yourself Enough to Try a New Path

love yourself enough vidHave you been feeling unhappy about your life lately…and maybe even a little disappointed in yourself?

It may seem like nothing is working in your favor right now. You might be struggling in your business, your finances or even your relationships.

You might be feeling discouraged in your situation because it seems like you don’t have any options.

In moments like this, it’s important to remember that life doesn’t have to be this way.

It’s never too late to change your circumstances!

If you’ve been holding on to your suffering for far too long, the video below could help you make a much-needed change.

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Quiz: Do You Have a Struggle Mentality?

Do you have a struggle mentality-Today, I received a message from a woman – we’ll call her Sandy – who is having trouble making money in her business. There was one part of Sandy’s email that really touched me and inspired me to write this post.

“I have never not had to struggle. It is all I know and the people around me also have that struggle mentality. But I know without a doubt God has a greater purpose for me in mind. I was not meant to merely to survive, but to thrive.”

Do you have a “struggle mentality,” too? Do you find yourself getting in your own way every time you try to move forward with your goals?

If so, you are certainly not alone in your thinking. It’s a major mindset shift that many women in our Happy Black Woman community have to make when they decide to pursue their dreams.

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VIDEO: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back from Being Happy

“People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.” — Paulo Coelho

Waiting to Be Happy VidAre you happy with your life as it is right now?

Or are you postponing your happiness until later?

If you find yourself constantly living in the future while being miserable in the present, you might be holding yourself back from being happy.

You might be delaying your happiness until certain circumstances change in your life.

If you’ve been holding yourself back from doing what you really want to do with your life, the video below could help you shift your mindset.

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Why You Should Always Take a Chance on Yourself

file5901256161591I fell in love with Gregory Porter sometime last year. His music is jazzy, original and real. One of my favorite songs of his is called, “But Beautiful.” (Here is a link to Gregory’s live performance of the song in Germany.)

This line hit home for me:

Love is tearful or it’s gay. It’s a problem or it’s play. It’s a heartache either way…

Over the last five years, I’ve built two different businesses, lived in a dozen different cities and experienced several different romantic relationships. Although I’ve enjoyed the feelings of happiness, success and freedom through my lifestyle, I’ve also had my share of loneliness, failure, doubt, confusion, disappointment and heartbreak along the way.

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How to Push Past Your Limits


I’ve been easing into the habit of running 3 times a week in preparation for a 5K race this summer (fingers crossed). I have to say, yesterday’s training run was so much easier on the treadmill with hype music and a great ocean view! It was the first time in YEARS that I jogged a whole mile without stopping to walk.

I’ve been here in Hawaii for almost 9 months(!) now and every few weeks, I still pinch myself because I can’t believe I get to live my ideal island lifestyle. I often think back to the moment when I made the decision to come here, more specifically the day I actually bought my one-way ticket from Washington, DC to Honolulu. Man..that was both a scary and exciting day!

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You’re Never “Too Old” to Follow Your Dreams


A few months ago, I called my bank to change my address for one of my checking accounts.

When I told the call center operator that I had recently moved to Hawaii, she gasped and said, “Oh my God, I’ve always wanted to live there!”

I’ve gotten used to people saying things like that when I tell them I live on a tropical island, so I just kept going with the process of completing my transaction.

Or at least, I tried to.

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5 Lessons I Learned About Success While Hiking Koko Head in Hawaii

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Yesterday, I hiked Koko Head Crater here in Honolulu, Hawaii with my boyfriend and some of his friends. Koko Head is one of the more challenging hikes on Oahu because it’s a really steep climb up about 1,000 steps on an old railroad path.

I don’t particularly enjoy hiking (or any form of exercise for that matter), but I have been wanting to go on at least one hike here on the island to see the amazing ocean views from the top.

Since I’m not a regular hiker, it was especially tough for me and totally outside of my comfort zone. But of course, with any new experience, you can learn some valuable lessons about life. Here are just a few that came up for me after this crazy hike!

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How to Get What You Really Want

Ask for what you want

I’ve been thinking a lot about desire over the past few weeks. There’s a magical process that begins when you finally admit that you want something MORE for your life.

When you write your desires down on paper and even better – say them out loud – there’s a spiritual shift within you. Because as soon as you take the first step toward the life you really want, the universe starts moving on your behalf.

God starts placing new people and new opportunities in your life.

Miracles start happening.

At the end of last year, I set this powerful intention for 2014:

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